Back to Reality
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
Back to Reality
Day 12
Please bare with me, as I’m new and learning how to navigate this site😉. While doing some research on alcoholism, I came across this site. I’ve been reading through the messages over the weekend and finding the information and feedback encouraging. It’s great to find so many here from all over the world. My longest period of abstinence was 11 months, several years ago. I fell off my 11-month success after discovering that my husband was unfaithful, then my mother, father and my niece died. Since then, I’ve made several other attempts which only lasted 3 months or so. As always, life’s challenges swept me back into the fire. My husband (who also drinks) and I have a business together. Needless to say, the combination of our drinking, stress of the business day in and day out, combined with his continual lies about relationships outside of our marriage has added fuel to the fire.
As many have mentioned, waking up in the morning without a hangover, or not worrying about what was said or “texted” the night before feels wonderful. “Texting” late at night was one of my worst habits. OMG, I cringe when I think of waking up in the morning to find a litany of BS, sent to our operations manager, after too much wine the night before. Ugh…I was like Trump and his tweets on steroids! Luckily, I didn’t send out messages to the mass! Days leading up to my last drink were pretty scary. Emotionally, I was a wreck! The only way I can explain it is that I felt like I was losing my mind. My husband and I were fighting regularly, we’d drink every night to ease the stress and the every morning was hell. I’ve always been a stressful person, filled with a lot of anxiety, but what I was feeling was something else! Like something evil surrounding me. I’m still dealing with some challenges with sleeping, but I feel grateful that the night sweats and terrors have subsided.
It feels good to be sober again. The combination of working out regularly, eating healthy, staying hydrated and keeping myself busy helps to keep the demons away. Doing this with my husband hasn’t been easy, as he is going through the same. I try my best not to let his emotional outbreaks and mind games stress me out too much, but it’s not easy. We have an appointment scheduled with a Behavioral Therapist at the end of this month. By then, we will both be over 30 days clean and I’m sure we will be needing some professional guidance. My hope is that this time it will stick. One day at a time, step by step, I will cherish each day before me on this journey of rekindling my soul.
Sorry for the long spew…😊.
Please bare with me, as I’m new and learning how to navigate this site😉. While doing some research on alcoholism, I came across this site. I’ve been reading through the messages over the weekend and finding the information and feedback encouraging. It’s great to find so many here from all over the world. My longest period of abstinence was 11 months, several years ago. I fell off my 11-month success after discovering that my husband was unfaithful, then my mother, father and my niece died. Since then, I’ve made several other attempts which only lasted 3 months or so. As always, life’s challenges swept me back into the fire. My husband (who also drinks) and I have a business together. Needless to say, the combination of our drinking, stress of the business day in and day out, combined with his continual lies about relationships outside of our marriage has added fuel to the fire.
As many have mentioned, waking up in the morning without a hangover, or not worrying about what was said or “texted” the night before feels wonderful. “Texting” late at night was one of my worst habits. OMG, I cringe when I think of waking up in the morning to find a litany of BS, sent to our operations manager, after too much wine the night before. Ugh…I was like Trump and his tweets on steroids! Luckily, I didn’t send out messages to the mass! Days leading up to my last drink were pretty scary. Emotionally, I was a wreck! The only way I can explain it is that I felt like I was losing my mind. My husband and I were fighting regularly, we’d drink every night to ease the stress and the every morning was hell. I’ve always been a stressful person, filled with a lot of anxiety, but what I was feeling was something else! Like something evil surrounding me. I’m still dealing with some challenges with sleeping, but I feel grateful that the night sweats and terrors have subsided.
It feels good to be sober again. The combination of working out regularly, eating healthy, staying hydrated and keeping myself busy helps to keep the demons away. Doing this with my husband hasn’t been easy, as he is going through the same. I try my best not to let his emotional outbreaks and mind games stress me out too much, but it’s not easy. We have an appointment scheduled with a Behavioral Therapist at the end of this month. By then, we will both be over 30 days clean and I’m sure we will be needing some professional guidance. My hope is that this time it will stick. One day at a time, step by step, I will cherish each day before me on this journey of rekindling my soul.
Sorry for the long spew…😊.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
hi I'm only a newbie so I can't offer some of the fabulous words of wisdom that have been passed to me by others on this great and supportive site.
But keep reading and posting it helps dso much
I'm 23 days and I'm feeling fragile but so much calmer
It's sounds like calmness is what you need for a bit
Don't drink and keep doing what your doing - stick with it
But keep reading and posting it helps dso much
I'm 23 days and I'm feeling fragile but so much calmer
It's sounds like calmness is what you need for a bit
Don't drink and keep doing what your doing - stick with it
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Day 12 is terrific!
It's hard to face stopping drinking, especially when we've used alcohol to self-medicate anxiety, which is something I did, too. It seems like a good solution until the alcohol takes control.
There is lots of support and information here so I hope you continue to read and post.
It's hard to face stopping drinking, especially when we've used alcohol to self-medicate anxiety, which is something I did, too. It seems like a good solution until the alcohol takes control.
There is lots of support and information here so I hope you continue to read and post.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome, CT! I'm sorry for all the painful things that have happened to you. Very glad you now have 12 sober days. 
Life is going to be so much happier & filled with hope. Glad to meet you.
Life is going to be so much happier & filled with hope. Glad to meet you.
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