peanut44

The end of a very long, stressful week at work with only one day off, tomorrow.

I suffer from PTSD and my work is so noisy, i literally have to go somewhere quiet and decompress. I sometimes do this several times a day. I have gotten pills from several people at work, so there are triggers everywhere.

Pills were on my mind again today. No withdrawals, this is a huge mental game. Didn't take anything.

I want to want to quit, if that makes sense. This urgency of wanting and craving is driving me crazy.

Coldfusion

Congratulations on five days, Peanut!

Make this the last time you have to go through this!

PhoenixJ

Hi Peanut. Welcome. Having triggers in the work place is crap. Do you have a plan/ Have you thought of what to do in times of stress- the decompress is brilliant. Mindfulness? Have you though of joining a thread- the 'Class of 2017?'
Support to you, PJ

Dee74

stay with us Peanut - you can do this

D

Delilah1

So glad you came here and posted. You can do this Peanut!!

PurpleKnight

Great job on pushing through this Weekend Peanut!! Keep it going!!

peanut44

So today is at an end, day 6,i think.

Had the day off with my husband. Since I've posted a long while ago, i have come to let him know about my drug use, when i get it, where i get, how much I spend and how much I use.

He was pretty shocked at first but now he understands and he is the only person that knows my secrets. He is trying his very best to help me by not enabling me and by helping me keep it real.

It's nice to be able to share this problem with someone who cares and still sees the good in me and stays with me.

Today was ok. A little lost. Tried to nap, that didn't work. Watched a funny movie, had a healthy dinner and played with my kitties.

Tomorrow i work.

january161992

great job on 5 days