RainbowBird

I need help to quit drinking. I feel like it should just be simple, just don't drink. No one is making me do it. What I'm doing isn't working and I need to re-evaluate my game plan. So, I've called a recovery place I've looked into and I think will be a good fit. I know I'm an alcoholic and I'm struggling. I'm not working hard enough and I'm not choosing sobriety and recovery, even though I say I want it, and I do.

The recovery house is checking my insurance and then will call me back and we will talk next steps then. I've been drinking the past few days so I am also looking into a medically supervised detox along with professional help and in person support. I'm looking at starting tomorrow or Saturday. I'm at work and trying to hold myself together but I'm quietly crying as I type this, I hope no one stops by my desk. I'm the only one working right now so I hope I qualify for STD if I need to be out of work for more than a week.

biminiblue

Good for you. It's going to be okay, you can do this. Lots of us here understand and we've made it out. You will too.

MsCooterBrown

HI RainbowBird. I think you are a strong brave individual to check in for treatment. I hope you get the leave of absence that you need. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

ljc267

No matter what happens at work, which is easy for me to say, you need to get better. If that means going to rehab then that is what you should do.

I wish you the best.

MicroMacro

Wow. I'm sending you a hug.

Quitting drinking is the same thing as severing a relationship and more because the body and brain crave it. There's nothing simple about an alcoholic quitting drinking. Our minds and hearts want us to stop, but our brains don't want to let go.

It took me over a decade to realize that if I didn't want to die from alcoholism, I had to stop drinking - permanently. I have a choice every day to drink - but I won't and don't because I want to feel good, be healthy, and live.

You wrote "I'm not working hard enough and I'm not choosing sobriety and recovery, even though I say I want it, and I do. "
What do you think asking for help is and putting yourself in treatment is if it's not working diligently toward sobriety?

Treatment is an interesting space - I've been to some. You'll encounter lots of characters in there. Go with it - take a notebook and do some journaling. You might be glad you did when all is said and done.

I know how scary it feels to do what you're about to do. I hope you feel proud too, because it requires a lot courage to put yourself into treatment.

People who read your post are cheering for you. I'm certain of it. I am!

RainbowBird

Thank you <3. I am my own worst enemy on this. I know I need to quit, but find I struggle to do so and I have not reached out for any support and have tried to do it 100% on my own. I think I need to go to a corner [rehab / detox], throw my hissy fit, put a plan in place and get back to my beautiful family recovered and healthy. There is still a loud enough voice in my head that doesn't want to quit that is battling with the more reasonable side that knows I need to. I feel it is all within my power to quit and I say I want to quit but am choosing not to.

I feel lost right now and I don't want to make excuses for myself, which is what I feel like I'm doing. I surrender. I need help and I can't continue do this alone as I have been.

january161992

so much good here

youve demonstrated willingness which is the key

youve demonstrated action which is the solution

Anna

I'm glad that you're seeking help and I hope the treatment plan works out for you.

Dee74

I'm really proud of you taking this step rainbowbird
best wishes to you

D

Scruffanie

If stopping drinking was simple there would be no need for forums such as this or detox/rehab or AA. Do not beat yourself down.

We all ARE cheering you on, we care and we want to see you well.

You've taken action and that is the first step...go where it leads you. Make sobriety your top priority for now.

Hugs and prayers to you Rainbow xx

RainbowBird

I've notified my supervisor of my request for leave starting on Monday. I plan to work tomorrow and do a knowledge / case transfer and report to rehab by 5:30pm local time tomorrow, my husband will drive me to rehab. My family is on board. I need this help. I'm not ok, but I'm ok, does that make sense?

Zebra1275

Good luck, I think you've made the right decision.

rainypnw

RainbowBird, we're all rooting for you.

badgerden

RainbowBird, it sounds like you have a really great plan in place. We are all rooting for you! Getting the family on board is a huge deal in my eyes, good job!

Badge

Dee74

You'll be ok rainbowbird

D

saoutchik

I'm really pleased that you are reaching out taking this step RainbowBird. Stopping drinking is simple enough in theory but it is never easy so don't be to hard on yourself. You are being very proactive and that is good.

SueDenim

It's great that your family is on board. I hope your work will be supportive, too.

All the very best for the future, RainbowBird. It starts here. x

RetiredGuy

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you are making the right decision to get sober!

RainbowBird

I am scared, content, rebellious, but, ready.

milly4me

You got this Rainbow!