peanut44

Haven't posted for awhile.
Yes it does progress quickly when you pick up again.
Yes you do things you wouldn't normally do.
Spending money was getting out of control
Withdrawing further and further away from friends husband and not taking care of myself.

I'll explain more later. This is day 2

bluedog97

For me, alcohol became the focal point of my life. There was nothing I wanted to do more than drink. It definitely progresses.

Dee74

I'm sorry to see you struggling again peanut.
What are you going to do about it?

D

Delilah1

Hi Peanut,

Glad you are back, and have made it past the first two days. I noticed you joined in 2013, but don't have many posts. I have found reading and posting on here daily really helps me.

You should think about joining the March Class of 2017, and also the 24 Hour thread. You will find great support on both.

I know it seems difficult right now, but you can do this, and I promise sobriety is so worth it!!!!

DontRemember

.31BAC driving/crashing my truck into a wall..
Money? what's that when I'm drunk?
Friends/Family got in the way of my drinking....OR..even worse. Enabled it.
It HAS to be you that wants a better life.

peanut44

I'm to the point where the pills don't seem to work anymore and i refuse to do anything stronger. The withdrawals are not that bad.

It's the mental obsession that is making me feel crazy. I'm tired of pills, I'm tired of what it's doing to my health and my family. I'm reading and studying the obsession part of this malady.

PhoenixJ

Take care of yourself P44

MariahGayle

Glad you are here & posting peanut. You are not alone in this

HopeandFaith1

What are your interests Peanut? For me it really helps to indulge my non-drinking related passions. For me that's books and dogs. Also movies are a lot more fun sober. Find a way to refocus your energy on something that does not involve drinking. Also physical activity has also helped me a lot. You'll look better, feel better and you'll be too tired to obsess so much.

I am really glad you posted and I think you'll get a lot of support here.

BruceSA

Hello, Peanut,
A lot of people here can relate to the escalation - we've got a progressive condition that only knows "forward at maximum speed".
Take care of yourself and drink lots of water.
Grab your sobriety and focus on it. More than anything else.
All the best,
Bruce.

Dee74

I onsessed anbout drinking andf getting high, then I obsessed about not drinking and getting high...and then I stopped obsessing.

It takes a little while but its worth it when you see it through Peanut.

D

Done4today

Welcome back Peanut,

Hope sobriety sticks this time. Much easier to stay sober than to get sober.

bexxed

Welcome back Peanut. Lots of good advice here.

It helped me a lot to join the class, come here often, and making not drinking (for me that's the issue) my number one thing, every day. And then, to not stop doing that.

I'm sure you can make a plan that works for you, if you work it!

Glad you're here

B

peanut44

Thank you for the welcome and warm wishes. It's been tough. I worked all day and thought about pills all day. Not overwhelming but a pain in the ass.
I'm home now so i can relax. As far as passions go, I've pretty much forgot everything that used to bring me pleasure. I have always loved all animals, especially cats.
I'm trying to get into my job more. I'm a florist so that's not bad. I just feel so lost without my crutch.
Sad, but it's the truth. Physically, I'm fine but it's that mental thing. I can't stand being me. I know I'm not a bad person, just don't know what happened.

Coldfusion

Welcome back, Peanut!

Why not join the class thread here and give that a try? It's free and easy!

I personally need my AA meetings, but if for whatever reason meetings aren't for you, try what SoberRecovery has to offer.

Dee74

It took a little while for me to rediscover who I was...I was convinced I hated myself but the person I found was nowhere near worthy of that hate.

I think, really, I was scared to be me with no 'net'...it takes a little while to get used to that, but you will.

I would not live any other way now

OscarDoes

P44 - hang in there. Kitty floral arrangements are the cutest.

Done4today

Get sober and YOU will be you again. Don't dwell on the things you've done to get loaded or while loaded. Look at the now and not live in the past or future. One day/hour/minute at a time.