Flirting with disaster ...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Spartanman 
You are absolutely right. How do you prevent yourself from getting to that point ?
On the positive side, the reduced number of days spent drinking or hung over (after I had been doing well at end of 2016) has helped me start to repair my relationship with my wife ...
would make it ok to drink once more. or even that the times ya drank are ok.
" my realtionship has already gotten better, so whats one more?"
plus, its just YOUR opinion it has helped. how has your wife felt about the times ya drank? does your wife feel the times ya drank helped your relationship?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Thanks everyone - there is a lot to think about in these posts.
Scott and Tom you both pointed out ways I was rationalizing drinking in my thoughts and I wasn't aware I was doing that ... That is very helpful as I need to stop excusing myself, minimizing my choices, or looking for compromises. I notice myself doing that some times in my mind but clearly don't always and I need to stop doing that all the time.
The last time I noticed this rationalizing tendency myself, I was reading a post about how (supposedly) small is the percentage of alcoholics who achieve lasting sobriety. I don't know what the percentage is or even if the article is based on facts, and anyway it should really be irrelevant to me because I need to stick with it regardless of how many or few other people make it. But instead of that I immediately started thinking, See, of course, it's so hard, of course I can't stick with this! Which was just a set-up to go out and drink.
Anyway just an example of the same type of mental habit of making excuses that allow me to get wasted.
So thanks for pointing out my bs everyone. I need to keep posting to stay on track. You guys can see things that I don't always see myself.
Scott and Tom you both pointed out ways I was rationalizing drinking in my thoughts and I wasn't aware I was doing that ... That is very helpful as I need to stop excusing myself, minimizing my choices, or looking for compromises. I notice myself doing that some times in my mind but clearly don't always and I need to stop doing that all the time.
The last time I noticed this rationalizing tendency myself, I was reading a post about how (supposedly) small is the percentage of alcoholics who achieve lasting sobriety. I don't know what the percentage is or even if the article is based on facts, and anyway it should really be irrelevant to me because I need to stick with it regardless of how many or few other people make it. But instead of that I immediately started thinking, See, of course, it's so hard, of course I can't stick with this! Which was just a set-up to go out and drink.
Anyway just an example of the same type of mental habit of making excuses that allow me to get wasted.
So thanks for pointing out my bs everyone. I need to keep posting to stay on track. You guys can see things that I don't always see myself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
spartanman, im veeeeerrrryyyyy glad to see ya understand how friggin crazy we can be with rationalizing.
when I got sober I was pretty screwed up- for me. not sayin I was screwed up more than anyone else, but bad for me.
I had people callin me out left and right and it seriously pissed me off.
took some time before I realized,"holy crap!! ive been rationalizing and lieing to myself for a long time!"
but I wouldn't have had that realization iffen people didn't care enough to call me out on it.
then one day a man who did a LOT of the callin out said to me:
yer eyes may sparkle
and yer teeth may glitter
but ya cant bullsh**
and old bullsh**ter.
HUH!!!!
when I got sober I was pretty screwed up- for me. not sayin I was screwed up more than anyone else, but bad for me.
I had people callin me out left and right and it seriously pissed me off.
took some time before I realized,"holy crap!! ive been rationalizing and lieing to myself for a long time!"
but I wouldn't have had that realization iffen people didn't care enough to call me out on it.
then one day a man who did a LOT of the callin out said to me:
yer eyes may sparkle
and yer teeth may glitter
but ya cant bullsh**
and old bullsh**ter.
HUH!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 37
Hello Spartanman, sometimes when I get the thoughts to have a "few drink(s)" (wish I told myself last week), I tell myself that alcohol and all the problems it causes are industries - like cancer. From recovery, liver problems, and addiction are billion dollar industries. In a way maybe these industries are betting that you will drink again. It helps to separate yourself at times from the addiction. Like I said, this type of reasoning does not always work for me.
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