An addict without a drug?
 

Tonight was the first time I've ever admitted I'm an addict. I went to the hospital and they gave me the choice of staying inpatient, or doing intensive outpatient. My dad called and urged me not to go to an inpatient facility. He and my stepmother say it could ruin my career. In the end I ended up choosing intensive outpatient. I'm not a danger to myself or others so I guess maybe I wouldn't qualify for inpatient anyway.

But my life is unmanageable. Every single piece of it is unmanageable. And I'm confused because it's like I'm addicted, but not to a drug. I'm just addicted, and sometimes alcohol fills the hole, sometimes drugs, or relationships or overwork. Like it's not an addiction to something, just an addiction, and the "to's" change. Does that make sense to anybody?

Your trading one addiction for another is that what you're getting at? If one wasn't satisfying you'd go to another? I think as an addict we tend to do that not just with drugs and alcohol but with many other things.

Sometimes its an gambling addiction , co dependency relationships/sex addiction, food addiction, or drug/alcohol addiction or an shopping addiction or being an workaholic..

In NA - Step One

"We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had
become unmanageable."

:You_Rock_ for getting yourself into some treatment. If IOP doesn't work you can always get into some inpatient treatment. Remember, it's your recovery nobody else's. You got to do what will be best for you and your recovery :grouphug:

It's entirely possible to be addicted to several things, and possible to not be an everyday user but still be addicted :)

If you're doing something to fill some hole, I think all of us can identify with that.

You'll find lot of help and support here :)

D

Some people will use anything that gives them a high, and it doesn't ultimately matter too much what the substance in question is. This is why people often go downhill fast even after switching to a drug of non-choice.

Regarding treatment and your career, I would tend to agree with favoring the outpatient route. Insurance will also often cover IOP, but not usually in-patient. Note that there are some downsides to using insurance for addiction treatment.

Consider a psychiatric consult as well, which may already be part of the IOP program at a hospital. If you abstain from alcohol and other drugs, they may be able to help you. If you don't abstain, it probably won't help, since psychiatric medication and recreational drugs do not mix.

i can be addicted to anything i perceive makes me feel good.

Yes, I understand what you're saying. When you're trying to fill yourself with something from outside of you, it's likely to lead to problems. I'm glad you're getting help.

Addiction is the way you think, substance abuse sometimes accompanies addiction.

Yes it makes sense.

At first I thought; being sober will fix my whole life and soul etc.
Then I found other stuff to compulsively drown myself in.

I needed therapy to find the real pain I'm running away from.
What truth I was scared to face.

Dig dig dig till you get to the core of your being.

Makes complete sense. I spent decades trying to reach outside for solutions. If something seemed to work (ie make me feel better) then I'd do it more and more until it became damaging to me, my relationships, or my security. AA and the 12-step program has taught me how to make things better from the inside out. That is pretty much what recovery is. Learning ways that make us feel better without all the insane acting out and compulsive thinking and behaviour.

Good luck with the recovery work. And stick around, keep reading, and keep posting. There is light at the end of this tunnel. While you can't see it, follow those who you meet who have healthy recoveries (they are the ones whose smiles reach their eyes), and they'll lead you until you can see the light yourself.

BB

Addictive personality? Yes- I know people who switch from IV drugs to valium then on to alcohol. If stressed still- they gamble or go and get sex.
I drink too much coffee and smoke nicotine. It is a trait- perhaps genetic, definitely behavioural based.