256 days!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 319
256 days!
Just wanted to share y'all. 256 days without a nip or a sip of alcohol. I am so overwhelmed with gratitude, to God, and my friends here on SR. I spent years...actually decades engaged in full on self destruction. I can't remember when I last had 256 days...maybe when I was 14? I am 42 now!
If you're here thinking you can't do it I am telling you that you can! What was different for me after all these years? I guess I finally surrendered and accepted that I cannot drink. I took a good, long painful look at myself and saw a fat, destructive, sickly, miserable drunk. I was not only a danger to myself but to others - my husband, my dogs, my family, any other poor souls out on the road driving. It was only a matter of time before my drinking caused irreversible suffering for others, and I could no longer pretend that it was OK to live that way. I wanted better. I didn't want to be remembered as a miserable, sloppy drunk but rather as a survivor, and proof to any of you out there hurting that change IS possible. You DON'T have to keep living this way. For me I had to believe in something greater than myself, and I wanted better for those who I love so much. I could no longer live with hurting people, and humiliating myself. My self hatred got to be so great that I just could not keep going, the pain became unbearable, I was so scared of what could happen if I continued on this path. In April I knew this hellish party was coming to an end, and by June I knew I was simply done. Anything sobriety threw at me could not be nearly as bad as how I was living.
And I was right. I know I'm still early on, and I have a long ways to go! But today I have 256 days of freedom, and I just wanted to express my gratitude for that
If you're here thinking you can't do it I am telling you that you can! What was different for me after all these years? I guess I finally surrendered and accepted that I cannot drink. I took a good, long painful look at myself and saw a fat, destructive, sickly, miserable drunk. I was not only a danger to myself but to others - my husband, my dogs, my family, any other poor souls out on the road driving. It was only a matter of time before my drinking caused irreversible suffering for others, and I could no longer pretend that it was OK to live that way. I wanted better. I didn't want to be remembered as a miserable, sloppy drunk but rather as a survivor, and proof to any of you out there hurting that change IS possible. You DON'T have to keep living this way. For me I had to believe in something greater than myself, and I wanted better for those who I love so much. I could no longer live with hurting people, and humiliating myself. My self hatred got to be so great that I just could not keep going, the pain became unbearable, I was so scared of what could happen if I continued on this path. In April I knew this hellish party was coming to an end, and by June I knew I was simply done. Anything sobriety threw at me could not be nearly as bad as how I was living.
And I was right. I know I'm still early on, and I have a long ways to go! But today I have 256 days of freedom, and I just wanted to express my gratitude for that
c011:
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