Melissa1217

I logged in here just now to try and "calm" myself so I don't dive into a bottle for relief.

This will be my last post. I thought I could utilize this place as an alternative to meetings.

There's so much negativity. Reported deaths ...

Yes "alcoholism" kills people, just like the plane on 9/11 killed my sister and that mugger killed that jogger in central park...

If scare tactics worked no one would be here.

How about "I had a great day today'

Ugh. Forget it. If I want more depression I'll turn on the news.

JK130

Hey Melissa, I just checked in here for the same reason...and here you are! The doom world does get overwhelming, at least for me. I really believe that alcohol doesn't make anything better, or even do a very good job of masking troubles. I hope you find comfort and direction. I am so very sorry about your sister

BrendaChenowyth

If we only had good things to report, we certainly wouldn't be here looking for advice and support. I didn't view that thread as negative. While it is very sad, people die, this disease does kill, we do need to talk about that, and we do need to reach out when death - any death, but especially deaths like that one - touch us, and we do need to show support. I am not just here to get people to cheer me up. We're not cheerful people, we're addicts.

BrendaChenowyth

This particular subforum is for newcomers to recovery, they are going to be in a rough place when they come here, because they are brand new to recovery. There are other subforums with other topics, take a look around. There are people celebrating milestones in recovery and encouraging one another.

Berrybean

Hi Melissa. I avoid the TV and social media as much as possible when I feel that way. The media just loves, loves, loves bad news. You can bet your last dollar that there have been wonderful acts of kindness and selflessness going on today, but they'd have to be completely groundbreaking to get any coverage.

On Christmas day I volunteered for a big lunch event for people who'd have been alone on Xmas day. There were hundreds of people there as guests, and a massive number of volunteers. Everyone was lovely. The volunteers worked hard with a smile on their face, the people eating had fun and we're friendly and lovely. Of course, that wasn't reported. It could easily not have happened. But I was there to witness and join in the magic, so I don't need any news report. It was the most joyful Christmas day I've ever had, and I got far more from the experience than I gave. I had my faith in humanity restored for a start off.

Have you ever considered volunteering? It's a great way to see the other side of life's coin.

Another suggestion might be a Gratitude list. All those little things (and tbe bigger things) you're thankful for today. If you can't get started, think about those things you have right now that you wouldn't want to lose.

Hope you feel better soon.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

Delilah1

Hi Melissa,

There are lots of positive things going on in multiple threads. Are you part of the February class, or 24 hour thread? I have found the class threads and 24 hour to be very supportive.

Some of the threads seem depressing because people often turn to SR when they are struggling, if you follow some of those very same stories you will see lots of success. There is a thread that tells stories of "What I did." Those might be inspiring to read as well.

Whether you decide to stay or go, I hope you will choose to stick with sobriety, it really is worth it.

Michael66

I'm glad people can share good days and bad days alike here. I've really appreciated that this is a place where I don't have to pretend everything is wonderful when it's not. But when times are good I can share that as well.

I hope we don't lose you Melissa.

ljc267

You do know the world exists outside of yourself? I'm not saying that to be a jerk I'm saying it because not long ago I shared your attitude.

A lot of people post negative things because they need someone to tell or talk to about it. They may not have anyone else to tell or they may just want to vent.

Again I'm not pointing the finger at you. I'm just adding a different perspective.

ljc267

Also check out Hopeandfaiths thread. That is very positive.

Mattq2

I guess I always expected such things from time to time given the nature of the thread and the website.

It does get difficult to deal with all the pain and suffering from time to time but so many here reached out to me when times were so dark. Feel a need to help when I can.

Maybe take a little break but don't quit SR. I think we all need each other 😊

Grymt

I need to identify what I am doing in order to know what to do about it. Usually something opposite to what I do is the cure. ie if I drink I don't drink. If I feel sorry for myself I do something selfless. I'm a contrarian so I try to go along. I'm a melancholic so I try to do cheerful things. In doing this I use the skill sets in my toolkit to deal with the consequences. In this way one after another of the miseries inside me rise and pass away and the happiness becomes real.

Anna

I'm sorry that is your experience, Melissa.

It's completely opposite to my experience. I've been coming here for years and I have never failed to be inspired, ever, when I check in here.

SnazzyDresser

Alcoholism kills people, it's very common. To acknowledge this as part of discussing how to get and stay sober isn't a scare tactic, it's reality.

SR has a lot of encouragement and support, it's really a godsend. And if sometimes the sad reality of what drinking can do is bringing you down and isn't helping you, you can always take a break for a few days.

48heath

I find if I am focussing on the negative,then it is me that is the problem,not everybody else.

If you are feeling like this,Alcohol will only make it worse,so please don't drink.

red3215

Hi Melissa---Negativity seems to be pretty common in the media, and all over the place. I agree it would be nice to have more uplifting words coming from people's mouths.
But there actually is a lot of positivity on this board. You may have to skim a few threads or sections to find it, sometimes, but there's a lot of happy, grateful people who were not always so happy or grateful.

Here's some positivity for you:
Most people who stay sober a long time comment on how much healthier and happier they feel.
Most people in the world want to be here, despite the hardships that we face. The majority don't feel chronically depressed. Most people want to live.
Depression makes things seem worse than they really are.
I used to wonder why anyone would want to live, but the answer is that most people don't have serious depression messing with their perception, most the time.
If others can be happy, then so can we.
I don't want to get cheesy but "Attitude is everything". There's a lot of truth to that phrase.
I make a list of ten things I'm happy about every day. And I always feel in a good mood afterward. It helps combat the negative messages that are commonplace.

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Melissa. There are a lot of positive thoughts here, there are even entire threads devoted to them. The reality of addiction though is that there is a negative side too. Ignoring it will not help you get better. I hope you reconsider or at least have another avenue of support in your sobriety.

thomas11

Melissa, I apologize if my thread offended you, it was not my intent.

bluedog97

SR tells the good and the bad, which is the way I like it. If it were all good it'd be a unrealistic and if it were all bad it'd drive people away. Hope you stick around Melissa.

Dee74

I hope you change your mind and stick around Melissa

Here are some of my SR feel good places

Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-4-a-12.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-57-a-16.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...h-prayers.html

D

Algorithm

You are not the only one suffering, Melissa, but if negativity on the forum really could make people drink, I don't believe that your post would help matters in that regard.

If you want to stop suffering unnecessarily, you will probably have to quit drinking, and find less destructive solutions to your problems.

The only thing that drinking will 'relieve' is a low BAC level.