just starting but definitely needing too
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1
just starting but definitely needing too
Let me just say I'm new to all of this not sure where to start but knowing I need to stop drinking. A little back ground of me. I'm 29 a nurse, stressful job, was raised by my father who drank majority of the time when he got off work or scouts, my brother who will be 31 drinks just about every day. I have been have been drinking hard alcohol every other day for about 4 years plus. I've known it was a habit for me but didn't think it was an issue bc I could go a day or more with out and stopped when I found out I was pregnant in 2014 and didn't drink during pregnancy. yet I looked forward to it after I had my son and after a long stressful day of work managing the floor making every one else happy at work/home/family (I try to please every one) never really occurred to me I had an issue until I met my fiance in 2012, where we began having issues and arguing due to my dunkin state and him stating " I drink to much, and I need to slow down." which in turn, I told him I would stop and start doing right by not drinking. When i made that commitment, I realized how unbelievably hard it was to stop. I came to the realization that I was relying on alcohol to relieve stress after a long day work of taking people then coming home taking care of our toddler. Having drinks would help with my stress and managing our toddler was easier so to speak. Just thinking about all this makes me want to have one to make it easier. Not sure where to start or what to do, but want to be a better wife and mother. Also, I want to hang out with my father but that consists of multiple drinks with him and watching him do that triggers me. At this point I'd take any positive advice...
sincerely, lynds.
sincerely, lynds.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: NY
Posts: 56
Lynds,
I don't have tons of great advice, because I am only on day 4 of sobriety myself.
That being said - SR is amazing. The support you will find here is phenomenal. It actually helped me make the decision to be sober when I wasn't sure about it.
You'll receive so much support here when you post, comment and just learn from reading other posts. Reach out and accept the help. I know it is just an online community, but I don't think I'd be 4 days sober without it.
Take care <3
I don't have tons of great advice, because I am only on day 4 of sobriety myself.
That being said - SR is amazing. The support you will find here is phenomenal. It actually helped me make the decision to be sober when I wasn't sure about it.
You'll receive so much support here when you post, comment and just learn from reading other posts. Reach out and accept the help. I know it is just an online community, but I don't think I'd be 4 days sober without it.
Take care <3
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hi Lyns,
I justified my drinking for so many of those same reasons too.....worked full time, had kids & took care of business, ball practice, science Fairs, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry & I used alcohol as a reward until it wasn't rewarding anymore. I'm a happier person not drinking & life is still hard sometimes but nothing like when I drink. It is progressive so making a decision now to live life free from it is the best decision you could ever make. Love & Strength to you
I justified my drinking for so many of those same reasons too.....worked full time, had kids & took care of business, ball practice, science Fairs, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry & I used alcohol as a reward until it wasn't rewarding anymore. I'm a happier person not drinking & life is still hard sometimes but nothing like when I drink. It is progressive so making a decision now to live life free from it is the best decision you could ever make. Love & Strength to you
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome. Coming here is a great first step if you want to quit drinking.
My sister has been a nurse for over 30 years. It's stressful. But she doesn't drink. She's found other ways to cope with the stress. You are going to have to do the same thing.
Recovery means change. Often times huge change. Changes to what we do with our time, changes to where we go, and who we see.
Hanging out with your father might have to be one of the things that changes. If his drinking triggers you to drink, then you can't be around him when he drinks...not in early sobriety. If you can get him to hold off your drinking when you visit, fine. But if he won't--or can't--then you are going to have to set boundaries that will protect your sobriety.
Read around the forum. You will find lots of threads directed to the newly sober.
My sister has been a nurse for over 30 years. It's stressful. But she doesn't drink. She's found other ways to cope with the stress. You are going to have to do the same thing.
Originally Posted by lynds91114 
I want to hang out with my father but that consists of multiple drinks with him and watching him do that triggers me. At this point I'd take any positive advice...
Hanging out with your father might have to be one of the things that changes. If his drinking triggers you to drink, then you can't be around him when he drinks...not in early sobriety. If you can get him to hold off your drinking when you visit, fine. But if he won't--or can't--then you are going to have to set boundaries that will protect your sobriety.
Read around the forum. You will find lots of threads directed to the newly sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi Lynds, Welcome!
I think it's common for women to put family/job/friends before their own self-care. I know, I did and I ended up drinking to self-medicate anxiety/depression. One of the most important things I learned in the very early days was to say 'No' and be okay with that. It's not easy to stop drinking, but you can do it if you have the motivation. We're here for support.
As for spending time with your father who will be drinking, my advice would be to distance yourself for awhile until you feel strong enough to be around him and his drinking.
I think it's common for women to put family/job/friends before their own self-care. I know, I did and I ended up drinking to self-medicate anxiety/depression. One of the most important things I learned in the very early days was to say 'No' and be okay with that. It's not easy to stop drinking, but you can do it if you have the motivation. We're here for support.
As for spending time with your father who will be drinking, my advice would be to distance yourself for awhile until you feel strong enough to be around him and his drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome to SR, I think your issues are very common but that doesn't make them any less serious. Reaching out for support is a great first step. As a nurse I'm sure you know plenty about alcoholism and the problems is causes. A few drinks is a great stress reliever....until it isn't. And then it becomes the source of the stress. New routine and new habits can be developed to help.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 209
Hi Lynds, glad you're here - like others have said, your story sounds very familiar to me.
I'm on day 13 now and for me the first week was the worst ( withdrawals) but then it got much better- don't get me wrong I still have to keep focused but it's the best thing I've done in a long long time,
The people here are so supportive and understanding
I had many a rAmble in the first week- every time you feel yourself weakening post here and after an while the anxiety and need for a drink will hopefully disappear as it does for me, that's why I spend a fair few hours a day here,
Going luck I'm rooting for you and your lovely little family- if your dads a trigger give him a wide birth for a few weeks until your over withdrawals just call him on the phone
I'm on day 13 now and for me the first week was the worst ( withdrawals) but then it got much better- don't get me wrong I still have to keep focused but it's the best thing I've done in a long long time,
The people here are so supportive and understanding
I had many a rAmble in the first week- every time you feel yourself weakening post here and after an while the anxiety and need for a drink will hopefully disappear as it does for me, that's why I spend a fair few hours a day here,
Going luck I'm rooting for you and your lovely little family- if your dads a trigger give him a wide birth for a few weeks until your over withdrawals just call him on the phone
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