Crescent12

I have 3 days sober, will be 4 at 10:30pm. I've been down this road before and made several months. I feel amazing already and don't want to lose this at the expense of impulse or feeling bored, shy, or uncomfortable. I realize many of my triggers and want to call them out this weekend. I have a good friends wedding on Friday night, a birthday dinner Saturday night and a Christening/luncheon afterwards, so it will be full of mines. I know this is worth it. Thanks for listening.

Bunny211

Can you book end your social engagements with a call to another sober person? That way you are held accountable....and less likely to drink. I had to do that early on. Keep up the good work!!

stargazer016

Good luck Crescent this weekend!

Just keep playing the tape forward reviewing how awful your last round of drinking ended up. I too had a slew of social occasions to deal with in early sobriety. I felt so awesome afterwards when I made it through. It helped to strengthen my resolve tremendously.

Keep SR close at hand!

PhoenixJ

Do you have a plan for the night? What you will do if triggers start up?

Anna

I have to be honest, I could not have done what you are planning to do this weekend. Do you have a plan of what to do if you feel bored, shy or uncomfortable? Do you have your own transportation so you can leave if you want to?

FreeOwl

the first thing I'd consider is bowing out of the wedding reception, speaking with the planned participants of the birthday dinner ahead of time to clearly communicate your intention that it be a SOBER birthday for you and asking their support (or else bailing entirely), and then having a clear plan to put in your appearance at the luncheon and get outta there.

dwtbd

Beginner ?
It is understandable that the AV( any thoughts of future drinking or doubt that you can abstain) is so loud , considering you've recently been feeding the Beast( the desire for alcohol).
But is there really a difference in achieving the outcome of abstaining from alcohol , between someone who decided to quit say today and someone who made the same decision even years ago? Granted those two people may feel differently , but the actions required of both are identical and equally achievable. But the temptations for both are also equal and equally dismiss-able.
If you have set up the conditions in your thinking that being 'confronted' with certain triggers may or will result in you deciding to drink , then planning to avoid those triggers is at least proactive and something to consider. But you can also take the stance that No Matter What you will not put alcohol in your mouth , today ,this weekend or next month and dismiss any thoughts that say this stance is beyond any rational expectation.
People who decided to quit are in the presence of alcohol all the time without accepting the false narrative of the AV that one is powerless when confronted with temptation.
Don't put yourself in the position to use the deceptive thoughts of the AV as an excuse to 'prove' your powerlessness or believe you have the power of choice from minute zero, only the AV wants you to label it or yourself as a 'beginner'. And therefore somehow at special risk, for me 'once an alcoholic always an alcoholic' really means my Beast always reacts the same way to alcohol eg MORE, so I decided IT gets none, ever again.
The choice is yours , that choice is available to everyone, but be totally honest with yourself about which you are choosing. Either way starve the Beast out, no alcohol, no matter what.
wish you well and hope to see you around

Crescent12

The bride, a good long time friend, has actually been sober for about a year now. That's some motivation and my partner is also trying not to drink so hopefully we will have one another for support. My plan is to think it through, treat myself with sweets I normally wouldn't overindulge in, and to focus on the bigger picture. I want to make it to a kickboxing class on Saturday and have other important things to get done so I will keep that in mind.

bethshebas

excellent idea...you will be motivated not to drink so you can make it to class.

i'm going to borrow that idea.

since the bride is sober will there still be alcohol at the wedding? I grew up Baptist, we had alcohol free receptions all the time. Just replaced booze with a covered dish

Aquafina

Seems you have many people in your life. Enjoy them. Drink sprite. Its far easier than it seems.

Dee74

Like Anna that would have been an impossible weekend for me at 3 days sober.

I had a much less stressful and smaller social occasion at day 3 and nearly caved.

No one wants to live in fear, or shun society...but it's equally dangerous to underestimate addiction.

Not trying to put you down, just being honest about the task/s you have ahead.

The only way you will make it through is with a solid plan - think about likely scenarios and how you might face them keeping your sobriety intact.

Have an escape plan, just in case.

There are some great ideas on plans here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

thomas11

I hope you make it. I would not have, I would have cancelled all engagements. The first few weekends are tough, but you develop a new normal and it gets pretty good. Congrats on 3 days.

RedMetalStone

I'm a beginner too, closing in on Day 2. As thomas11 said, I cannot imagine going out this early myself but more power to you if you can. I think you can do it and I wish you the best. Stay strong!

Crescent12

Thank you for the suggestions and well wishes. I don't feel that I can cancel on he wedding tomorrow night. The birthday dinner and christening the next day shouldn't be bad, even though there will be free alcohol at 2/3 of these events. I am thinking about skipping out on a luncheon after the christening to take that burden away and only going to the church part which might be good for me. Sprite it will be. I will keep all of you in my mind.

hellrzr

I'll just be blunt and say that AA meetings are what you should be concentrating on.

But since you are intent on your plans, at least it sounds like you have a couple of people there for support so that is good. I would have meeting lined up for Monday though if you are serious about a better life.

Hevyn

Hi Crescent. Check in here when possible - it may give you strength & encouragement. We are with you. I found that once I got over a few of these hurdles I was much stronger, & more determined than ever. I'm glad you've decided to make this big change in your life.

Mattq2

The first few weeks I had to attend similar functions. I made sure of the following:

1. Pre-planned reasons why I wasn't drinking.
2. At least one person with me that new I could not drink no matter what.
3. That person was fully aware of number 4.
4. I had a pre-planned excuse ready so I could run if things got to hard to handle.

Just so you know I ran more times than not.

The scariest thing to me is that it's so many things back to back. Our AV is quite cunning at wearing us down. Please be careful my friend. You've got a great start.

August252015

I might not do what you are doing NOW - at 367 days sober. That is a very full schedule of "fun" and I still pace myself in all I do so I definitely couldn't have done such a marathon then.

I would think very carefully about whether you should attend these things. I am of the camp that says NO event or occasion is a must. Not a single one. IMO (and IME) the people who truly love and support you completely understand- I'd go so far as to say that any and everyone in my life would be aghast at the thought I'd do anything (esp so early!!) to put my sobriety in jeopardy.

If you go- as others have said- what's your plan? My first sponsor told me that the first time she had (IMO, chose) to go to an event with her daughter's soccer team, where all the parents would be drinking. and she was a couple weeks sober - she made a plan: always have a water bottle in hand; drove herself and made sure to park where she wouldn't get blocked in; have at least two people to call; permission to leave if she got uncomfortable for any reason- and at that first sign.

Good luck.

Hevyn

Crescent - thinking of you. Hope the wedding goes ok.