New.... again

[Aislin]

I came back on here because my drinking it frightening me, I am paranoid I am going to have a stroke or heart attack soon, I dont know why, I am just starting to worry about it everyday. I used to drink 2 bottles of wine every night, now this is not enough and I want more and this is really worrying me, my tolerance seems to be growing! My children are now growing up my eldest is 13 and has asked me why I like to drink wine, I find myself getting up super early to hide the evidence of how much I have drunk so he doesn't know. I quiet often have no memory of the night before but I can easily get up and function in the morning. I noticed the last time I logged in here was 15 june 2015!!!! Clearly nothing has got better. And now I am frightened of giving up too because I keep reading that if you drink a lot you shouldn't just stop. I am WAY too embarrassed to go to the doctors about this, can anyone help me? I am a 40 year old woman.

[NewRomanMan]

Welcome back. Don't be afraid to talk to your Dr. A visit with her really would be the best place to start. And believe me, they've heard everything before. You won't shock anyone. Lol. Anyway, welcome back. I wish you well.

[Grymt]

You must overcome the hindrance to going to the doctor. If you continue like this you will end up being taken to the doctor. Make your question 'how do I overcome my difficulty in going to the doctor' or something like that. I drank like you do, detoxing safely is critical. Give yourself and your children the life you all deserve. Bless you.

[tomls]

Sounds like you really want to quit. Seeing a doctor would probably be the best way to start. They may give you something to help you get started. No one can do this for you. You have to find other ways to spend your time that you would have been drinking. It's not easy at first, it's going to feel a little uncomfortable. You need to do it for your kids if not only for you. Keep coming back here and reading and posting. There's a lot of people here that want to help you. Welcome to SR!

[badger257]

Welcome!!! There is a lot of great support and advice here. We have all been where you are at. I do think asking you Dr. would be a wise choice. He might be able to assist you getting through the withdrawals should you have any as well. Feel free to join us over in the Class of February as well.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-12.html

[Aislin]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies, I feel so embarrassed to see the doctor, I feel like a bad mum, I have four kids ranging from 5 to 13, I am more than capable of caring for them and will wake if they wake in the night, I have no problem going to them and caring for them, although it worries me if something happened like a fire would I really be capable of dealing with it in the right way if I was drunk! Except my 13 year old the others dont really notice that I drink, it doesn't affect them in anyway and I always prioritise them. But I worry so much what the doctor would think, no one I know knows how much I drink except my husband who also drinks heavily, I hate it cos it feels like my guilty secret

[Dee74]

Hi Aislin

I know you don't want to go public with this and speaking about it to someone else makes this change real and irreversible...but I'm another vote for seeing the Dr. A good Dr will not judge you.

I just think it's best to be safe than sorry - detox ca be rough for some of us.

Anyhow, it's your call

I hope you'll really use SR - get involved in a few threads, look at what other people are doing and maybe find a way that makes sense to you.

D

[PhoenixJ]

Bite the bullet. Be honest with yourself. No one judges. Please see a doctor.

[Unwound]

Like the others have said I would see your doctor, they will do their best to help. It's extremely difficult to tell on an Internet forum as you could be stick thin midget but the amount of booze you describe would seem unlikely to put you in the category of people who cannot safely just stop without dire consequences although if you did start to have problems go back to your doctor. It certainly sounds like you have a problem with alcohol and stopping is more likely to make you better than worse although your AV will certainly try to convince you otherwise. Have you tried stopping before and did it cause you any problems?

[Hevyn]

I'm glad to see you back, Aislin. We have to be ready - maybe this is your time to get free. I hope you'll keep reading & posting. We care.

[january161992]

glad youre back

[starstarstar]

A visit to a doctor would ease that fear and allow you to stop drinking safely, more comfortably. Best to you!

[heartcore]

A doctor's goal is to heal. Hope so, anyway.

Were I a doctor, I would very much want to help someone who admitted they were struggling with alcohol & sincerely wants to quit. Drinking that amount with a high physical tolerance, you might even be well served by going to a detox center (the medical detox part is more medical & is less than a week. This is different than a rehab center, where you go through treatment for a month or more). If your doc decides you're safe to detox at home, they will give you medication to prevent seizures & make you more comfortable.

I know it is embarrassing to fess up to a doc. Just emphasize your enthusiasm about quitting. I think it is more embarrassing to try it on your own without going to a doctor, having physical detox symptoms, & ending up at an emergency room! Or the embarrassment of continuing to drink when you want to quit, which also feels bad. It sounds like you're already carrying shame.

I think you'll feel really proud of yourself after!

[Aislin]

Thank you all for your support, I have tried to stop but the problem is half of me doesn't want to! And it doesn't help that my husband also drinks and can get moody and pushy if I say I am not going to have a drink. There is always a reason why we should have a drink in the evening. I gave up smoking three years ago and keep telling myself if I can do that I can do this, I also suffer with zero self confidence and anxiety and I have high blood pressure, i'm sure stopping will help all of these things!

[Done4today]

Welcome back Aislin.

Sounds like you know what you have to do. Stop dragging your feet and start saving your own life. Good luck and many prayers

[Aislin]

Thanks Steve x

[MissPerfumado]

Hi Aislin, whenever I see someone here say they are embarrassed to see their doctor to discuss their drinking problem, I like to relate my own story about going to see my doctor on Day 1.

My doctor was great and completely non-judgmental. It was hard to admit out loud how much I was drinking every day but it was also a huge relief to be honest about it with her. I'll never forget the emotion of doing that.

Opening up about it was what I needed to do to make it real ... that I really had to quit.

My doctor assessed if I needed medical help to stop drinking, I had to take blood tests (but she understood I was scared and agreed we would do it the following week), and finally she referred me to a counsellor.

Good luck and well done on realising you need to stop drinking to save your life.

[Aislin]

Thanks so much for sharing that MissP, I guess I really should go and see someone

[NewRomanMan]

You can do it, Aislin. And you'll feel much better about everything after a very open honest visit with your Dr. Like the other posters said, no one is going to judge you. The world is full of people that need help but are too afraid to ask for it. You've already made a huge step, now just keep going. =)

[Aislin]

Thanks NewRomanMan, I know it makes sense but the thought really frightens me lol! I think I have a well woman call coming soon where I get a letter asking me to the doctors for Cholesterol and blood pressure and stuff and I know they ask how much you drink then.........