When it's time to admit defeat
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2
When it's time to admit defeat
Hi I have been on this site for over 2years and never posted so that tells you how long I've known there's a problem. Anyways the talk of rock bottom never resonated but if I put the last 12 months in perspective I've lost a job been kicked out my house from my partner where my 2 girls lived. Since had a boy who is 4 months and I've seen half the time. In 2017 I've been to numerous counselling and support groups but still turn back to it and when I do it's so much worse. Not drank for 5 days but this is nothing new I always go back but morning got pulled by my boss to say they noticed beer on my breath in the last few weeks. Nothing will come of it they want to support me but when is enough enough I want it to be but I've said that for too long with no results.
It's really taken the wind out of my sails it needs to stop now
It's really taken the wind out of my sails it needs to stop now
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
We have all been there and have all had to open our eyes to just how much destruction our addictions are causing in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. I'm happy that you took the step of posting, reaching out and creating a strong support group is the best thing you can do for yourself and your recovery.
I found that when I used to try to quit I would just wing it and thought just not using would "fix" me and my life. Creating a strong and lasting recovery is not about winging it- it is about changing your life, admitting to yourself when you need help and then reaching out for the help, finding a recovery program helps giving you structure and help you learn about yourself and your addiction through the experiences of others. I have found that I personally had to find a doctor that specializes in addiction, a substance abuse counselor, and a psychiatrist that specializes in addiction as well as changing my diet, adding exercise, and I needed to really take a look at my life as a whole and get rid of all the toxic people and parts of my life that are holding me down and in the past. Really be honest with yourself and reach out when you need help, if something isn't working then it is time to change it, and above all- know in your heart that you deserve so much better and that you refuse to accept anything less.
You can do this!
I found that when I used to try to quit I would just wing it and thought just not using would "fix" me and my life. Creating a strong and lasting recovery is not about winging it- it is about changing your life, admitting to yourself when you need help and then reaching out for the help, finding a recovery program helps giving you structure and help you learn about yourself and your addiction through the experiences of others. I have found that I personally had to find a doctor that specializes in addiction, a substance abuse counselor, and a psychiatrist that specializes in addiction as well as changing my diet, adding exercise, and I needed to really take a look at my life as a whole and get rid of all the toxic people and parts of my life that are holding me down and in the past. Really be honest with yourself and reach out when you need help, if something isn't working then it is time to change it, and above all- know in your heart that you deserve so much better and that you refuse to accept anything less.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by lazas 
I've lost a job been kicked out my house
Since had a boy who is 4 months and I've seen half the time.
got pulled by my boss to say they noticed beer on my breath
Step 1 was -- Complete Deflation.
I've been there (it's very painful).
Sounds like you are also there?
Or darn close?
You need go no further down.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
nothing will change until YOU change it.
and YOU won't change it until your desire to change it grows deep enough for you to act.
and that will happen when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than your fear of changing.
Let me tell you something; the FEAR is nonsense. The fear of the change is all an illusion prepared by and presented to you by your addicted mind. The reality is that there is nothing to fear about changing.... that in fact, embracing sobriety will be the greatest gift and the greatest journey you've ever embarked upon.
You can begin the change TODAY with a simple act;
Say out loud "I choose to embrace sobriety".
Then act in that direction.
That's all it takes. It's really as simple as that.
It's hard..... but it's simple.
You can do it.
and YOU won't change it until your desire to change it grows deep enough for you to act.
and that will happen when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than your fear of changing.
Let me tell you something; the FEAR is nonsense. The fear of the change is all an illusion prepared by and presented to you by your addicted mind. The reality is that there is nothing to fear about changing.... that in fact, embracing sobriety will be the greatest gift and the greatest journey you've ever embarked upon.
You can begin the change TODAY with a simple act;
Say out loud "I choose to embrace sobriety".
Then act in that direction.
That's all it takes. It's really as simple as that.
It's hard..... but it's simple.
You can do it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
You're on an elevator ride down, my friend, and only you can press the button to stop it. I don't know what is right for you, but for me, it seemed almost impossible to get off the ride because I had a demanding career, childcare obligations, and lots of other stuff going on - life wasn't going to stop for me to get my stuff together. I finally managed to change by entering a very short inpatient program. It gave me the re-set that I needed and I haven't touched alcohol since. I strongly suggest that you explore your options carefully and give due consideration to some sort of inpatient program. From the sounds of it, your elevator ride down is accelerating. I wish you the best and give you many kudos for having the courage to post here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
I am sorry...the struggle is real for all of us.
I worked in payroll for years...we coordinated with the Human Resources Dept. They really want to help ...more than they want to fire you. I wonder if you can't talk to them...get assistance. You may have failed before when you have gone for help. But you can't give up. One of these times someone will help you in the right way. BUT you do have to help yourself as well. I wish you peace. Talk to HR before the boss. REACH OUT!
I worked in payroll for years...we coordinated with the Human Resources Dept. They really want to help ...more than they want to fire you. I wonder if you can't talk to them...get assistance. You may have failed before when you have gone for help. But you can't give up. One of these times someone will help you in the right way. BUT you do have to help yourself as well. I wish you peace. Talk to HR before the boss. REACH OUT!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
You can stop digging that hole deeper any time you'd like. In this forum you have hundreds of people willing to support and help you get your life back together. It all starts with action. Sounds like you have a lot to live for, I hope you can stop. You won't regret it.
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