Newbie with a drink problem
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
Hopefully, Yorkshire, it's square one on a different game board.
For myself, abstinence didn't arrive until I admitted I was powerless over alcohol. I realized I couldn't kick the habit by myself. I needed help from other people.
For myself, abstinence didn't arrive until I admitted I was powerless over alcohol. I realized I couldn't kick the habit by myself. I needed help from other people.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 38
[QUOTE=Yorkshirebloke;6384028]No posted on here for a while.
I 've not had a drink for 36 days and have been feeling great..............until...........I had a beer with my family yesterday. That one small beer turned into 6-7 cans of strong beer, 1/4 bottle of wine and 1/4 L rum(drunk out of a coffee mug in the garage away from my family)!
Hi! My drinking "profile"in general is similar to yours. At the end of 2015, I clocked 24 days sober and then on Christmas decided that I was fit to drink "responsibly" again. Started with 5 large Whiskies that night and then an entire ear COMPLETELY off the wagon. Decided to quit in January 2017 - I am now on Day 84. I am not a veteran in this forum but seeing your post it seems you acknowledge that you have a problem and desperately want to do something about it. Give it another go and don't give yourself too much of a hard time about the last time you drank. Take a day at a time and try your best to be positive. Keep posting!
I 've not had a drink for 36 days and have been feeling great..............until...........I had a beer with my family yesterday. That one small beer turned into 6-7 cans of strong beer, 1/4 bottle of wine and 1/4 L rum(drunk out of a coffee mug in the garage away from my family)!
Hi! My drinking "profile"in general is similar to yours. At the end of 2015, I clocked 24 days sober and then on Christmas decided that I was fit to drink "responsibly" again. Started with 5 large Whiskies that night and then an entire ear COMPLETELY off the wagon. Decided to quit in January 2017 - I am now on Day 84. I am not a veteran in this forum but seeing your post it seems you acknowledge that you have a problem and desperately want to do something about it. Give it another go and don't give yourself too much of a hard time about the last time you drank. Take a day at a time and try your best to be positive. Keep posting!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
thanks for all your positive replies.
I am beating myself up today with regards to wasting all the time off the drink. i think i shall look at this as a bit of a lesson. to remind myself I am still under the evil powers of booze, that I cant only have a couple and how bad it makes me feel!
I am beating myself up today with regards to wasting all the time off the drink. i think i shall look at this as a bit of a lesson. to remind myself I am still under the evil powers of booze, that I cant only have a couple and how bad it makes me feel!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
YSbloke,
I am currently in Day 46 without drinking. What is helping me this time is reading these forums everyday. Most of what you have posted about your situation sounds a lot like me. So maybe checking out these forums more often would be helpful to you. Stay strong!
I am currently in Day 46 without drinking. What is helping me this time is reading these forums everyday. Most of what you have posted about your situation sounds a lot like me. So maybe checking out these forums more often would be helpful to you. Stay strong!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
so, a new day after the hangover from hell. The worst nights sleep in over a month!I feel 90% better than yesterday, but am left with a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach and have once again got the old heart palpitations back!
I'm done with this now.
I sat down with my wife last night and once again explained my problem. She seems to think i'm over reacting to it a little as I only binge once in a while, which is what most people do? - I know my drinking isn't "normal", and even if it is, I dont want to live my life like this.
I'm done with this now.
I sat down with my wife last night and once again explained my problem. She seems to think i'm over reacting to it a little as I only binge once in a while, which is what most people do? - I know my drinking isn't "normal", and even if it is, I dont want to live my life like this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
I've found some friends and family members encourage my sobriety whilst others don't really understand why I would not want to drink.
I am on antidepressants and have regular meetings with my doctor. She encourages me to not drink and was happy on my last visit to see I'd cut down over the past year.
I can go for weeks without alcohol, then have a blowout. The good thing for me is that after my binge, I feel so bad, that I cant bear the sight of alcohol for a while.
I am on antidepressants and have regular meetings with my doctor. She encourages me to not drink and was happy on my last visit to see I'd cut down over the past year.
I can go for weeks without alcohol, then have a blowout. The good thing for me is that after my binge, I feel so bad, that I cant bear the sight of alcohol for a while.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
so, 16 days since my last binge and starting to feel good! I've had a couple o saturdays when ive really fancied a beer, but have resisted and have been proud of myself next day for doing so.
The big test is this weekend, bank holiday weekend! We have friends coming round who are big drinkers. When my wife gets together with her friend, they drink wine like it's going out of fashion. Im pretty anxious about it to be honest.- being around free flowing beer and wine, being the party pooper drinking pop!
The big test is this weekend, bank holiday weekend! We have friends coming round who are big drinkers. When my wife gets together with her friend, they drink wine like it's going out of fashion. Im pretty anxious about it to be honest.- being around free flowing beer and wine, being the party pooper drinking pop!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
It;s a common fear that we'll be the party poopers.
I have more fun now than I ever had drinking.
It took a while to get there - I won't deny I was like a fish out of water for a while - but the efforts worth it
There are some good ideas and tips here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
D
I have more fun now than I ever had drinking.
It took a while to get there - I won't deny I was like a fish out of water for a while - but the efforts worth it
There are some good ideas and tips here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Your comment about being the party pooper really struck me. I had a similar drinking pattern as you, and I was also convinced I couldn't have fun unless I was drinking. That the two go hand in hand. My biggest shock when I quit was discovering that I'd been lying to myself for 35 years. I'm having more fun now. I don't need alcohol to enjoy myself.
But that was a big step mentally to take.
For sobriety plans, I used three things. SR of course, as well as AVRT and Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. The latter I downloaded on Kindle for a few quid. And it really, really made a difference. Helped me see through all the lies about what alcohol does that I'd believed for decades. Propaganda from the multi-billion pound alcohol industry. Highly recommend it (just ignore the bit about continuing to drink until you finish the book, it's aimed at people who haven't made the decision to stop yet).
AVRT helped me see where that desire to drink is coming from, the primitive part of our brains, and to separate those urges from the part of the brain I do have control over. Google "AVRT crash course", or look in the secular forums on here to learn more about it.
The result is that I'm not relying on will power to stay sober (closing in on two years now). I don't drink now because I don't want to drink. The desire itself is gone.
Whatever approach you take, and there are many, many others, good luck with your sober journey.
But that was a big step mentally to take.
For sobriety plans, I used three things. SR of course, as well as AVRT and Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol. The latter I downloaded on Kindle for a few quid. And it really, really made a difference. Helped me see through all the lies about what alcohol does that I'd believed for decades. Propaganda from the multi-billion pound alcohol industry. Highly recommend it (just ignore the bit about continuing to drink until you finish the book, it's aimed at people who haven't made the decision to stop yet).
AVRT helped me see where that desire to drink is coming from, the primitive part of our brains, and to separate those urges from the part of the brain I do have control over. Google "AVRT crash course", or look in the secular forums on here to learn more about it.
The result is that I'm not relying on will power to stay sober (closing in on two years now). I don't drink now because I don't want to drink. The desire itself is gone.
Whatever approach you take, and there are many, many others, good luck with your sober journey.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
I do feel comfortable in myself around others drinking when im not drinking. Its the pressure others put on me to have a drink that's hard.....go on, just one wont hurt......it's the weekend, you can have a few beers, everyone does......your on holiday etc......
I also get the feeling that when I don't drink on social events , my wife thinks I'm just being awkward and ignorant. When I do drink, she's like, oh no, hes on the beer!!........cant win really!
A few friends just cant understand why I want to give up drink. Saying that, as an onlooker, I see that a few of them have drink problems too!!
I also get the feeling that when I don't drink on social events , my wife thinks I'm just being awkward and ignorant. When I do drink, she's like, oh no, hes on the beer!!........cant win really!
A few friends just cant understand why I want to give up drink. Saying that, as an onlooker, I see that a few of them have drink problems too!!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 926
Hey Yorkshire, nice to meet you.
I spent years living in Boroughbridge, I loved it. There's one thing I learned when I was there and that's that you folk love to call a spade a spade.
So calling a spade a spade... You need to knock it on the head for good mate. You have much more than "a bit of a problem".
Make sobriety your number one priority and I promise you it will pay you back with a life so rich, you can't imagine. Make it more important than your drinking friends, make it more important than the funny comments they might make.
Good luck, and enjoy the journey.
I spent years living in Boroughbridge, I loved it. There's one thing I learned when I was there and that's that you folk love to call a spade a spade.
So calling a spade a spade... You need to knock it on the head for good mate. You have much more than "a bit of a problem".
Make sobriety your number one priority and I promise you it will pay you back with a life so rich, you can't imagine. Make it more important than your drinking friends, make it more important than the funny comments they might make.
Good luck, and enjoy the journey.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
The people who've given me the hardest time (buying drinks and putting them on the table in front of me for example) are also the people I suspect have a drink problem. I don't think that's a coincidence
I noticed I got a fair bit of comment on not drinking when I first stopped, and now hardly any. Even with new situations and people I've only just met. I wonder if that's because I'm more relaxed about it. People ask if I want a drink, I ask for a cranberry and soda, and they might say "you're not drinking?" and I answer with a smile "no" and that's it. Maybe at first I felt I had to explain it, and people would pick up on that? I don't know. But now I don't feel any need to explain it and it's been a long time since anyone asked me to.
In other words, I believe the more relaxed you are with not drinking, the less you'll care what other people do or don't think about it. It might also be worth checking how much of what you think others are thinking is coming from you, not them. My other big discovery was that other people care a lot less about what and how much I drink than I do
I noticed I got a fair bit of comment on not drinking when I first stopped, and now hardly any. Even with new situations and people I've only just met. I wonder if that's because I'm more relaxed about it. People ask if I want a drink, I ask for a cranberry and soda, and they might say "you're not drinking?" and I answer with a smile "no" and that's it. Maybe at first I felt I had to explain it, and people would pick up on that? I don't know. But now I don't feel any need to explain it and it's been a long time since anyone asked me to.
In other words, I believe the more relaxed you are with not drinking, the less you'll care what other people do or don't think about it. It might also be worth checking how much of what you think others are thinking is coming from you, not them. My other big discovery was that other people care a lot less about what and how much I drink than I do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 22
Yorkshire folk do call a spade a spade. We also like to drink a lot! seems to be a "Northern" culture!
I think in the past that's where I have gone wrong around people. I find myself explaining why I don't want a drink when it's offered. I shouldnt need to explain. When I meet vegetarians I dont expect an explanation why they dont eat meat!
I think in the past that's where I have gone wrong around people. I find myself explaining why I don't want a drink when it's offered. I shouldnt need to explain. When I meet vegetarians I dont expect an explanation why they dont eat meat!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by Yorkshirebloke 
Yorkshire folk do call a spade a spade. We also like to drink a lot! seems to be a "Northern" culture!
I think in the past that's where I have gone wrong around people. I find myself explaining why I don't want a drink when it's offered. I shouldnt need to explain. When I meet vegetarians I dont expect an explanation why they dont eat meat!
I think in the past that's where I have gone wrong around people. I find myself explaining why I don't want a drink when it's offered. I shouldnt need to explain. When I meet vegetarians I dont expect an explanation why they dont eat meat!
I travel to or through Yorkshire a lot. It's true - you guys call it pretty quickly when you smell BS which is why I like the area so much.
The BH weekend is a concern for me as well. We're both on day 17 I think? I'm planning lots of walks, gym, and catching up on a variety of things to do. I also have friends over for dinner.
I just don't want to drink more than I do. It means more to me to stay sober than anything so with that knowledge I'm sure that I (we) can do it.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I needed to stay away from slippery people and slippery places until I'd found a plan of recovery that worked well for me and got used to working it. I stayed away from my sabotaging friends in the pub and found new sober friends at AA. A whole clan of them. Now going to those old places that used to seem so full of promise I'd have to stay and keep drinking while waiting for the excitement to happen listening to the same people repeat the same stories ad infinitum (or ad nausium) just seems insanely tedious.
My partner of many years doesn't believe I'm 'really alcoholic' either, but that's mostly because he doesn't accept the same definition of alcoholic that I now understand. He thinks is someone who drinks every day from the minute they wake up to when they go to bed.
Stay sober and maybe use some of that renowned northern grit to stay stubborn and walk to the beat of your own drum. You don't owe anyone your sobriety. You don't owe anyone social animal. If we are socially awkward at times, then perhaps that's just us. The socially more comfortable can take the lead. It's okay to be quieter and more reflective. In fact the world might be a better place if more people were.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety, and hoping that you will become less resistant to the notion of working on your recovery, as this is what makes sobriety more comfortable, sustainable, and in the long term preferable to continuing drinking.
BB
My partner of many years doesn't believe I'm 'really alcoholic' either, but that's mostly because he doesn't accept the same definition of alcoholic that I now understand. He thinks is someone who drinks every day from the minute they wake up to when they go to bed.
Stay sober and maybe use some of that renowned northern grit to stay stubborn and walk to the beat of your own drum. You don't owe anyone your sobriety. You don't owe anyone social animal. If we are socially awkward at times, then perhaps that's just us. The socially more comfortable can take the lead. It's okay to be quieter and more reflective. In fact the world might be a better place if more people were.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety, and hoping that you will become less resistant to the notion of working on your recovery, as this is what makes sobriety more comfortable, sustainable, and in the long term preferable to continuing drinking.
BB
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