Drunk again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
Drunk again
So much for resolutions. Drunk again tonight. Hate myself. Hate this life. Why can't I get off this cycle of despair? Being sober means facing the consequences of what I've done to my body and that's too bloody hard for me to face. I feel like such a hopeless victim writing this post. Need to get my **** together
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: NE
Posts: 84
Hi it's great that you are coming back to post about it. Keep coming back it's about how we pick ourselves up. I am in the same boat as you. I kept having many resolutions and never could get on the wagon for good. I have a lot of health problems directly caused by my drinking. High blood pressure liver enzymes heart problems. I have been facing that this year. I am 1 month and 20 days sober. Many close calls and nights where I wanted a drink but having support it will get easier to live this sober life in recovery... hope this helps
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Sobernunn,
Sounds like you're trying to still convince yourself that you can do controlled drinking. Once you know you can't and willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. You will be able to recover. Good luck and keep coming back to post. We are here for you please stay close.
Sounds like you're trying to still convince yourself that you can do controlled drinking. Once you know you can't and willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. You will be able to recover. Good luck and keep coming back to post. We are here for you please stay close.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
Thanks guys. My plan I guess is to not drink again but despite "cutting back" I'm not doing all that well at getting there. I've started reading the book 'Ratinal Recovery'. My AV is Strong! It's been nearly 3 months of trying (lots of day 1, 2 and 3) my longest period of sobriety in that time was a week.,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
Turn 'need to' into 'am doing'. See a doctor. Got to AA, Try. Self pity will not help you, I empathise- I am the role model for self pity. See a therapist, a priest, go to AA or SMART-post here. Do not drink any more. We all support here. You are not alone. I thought I was- and my life was a living hell. You can do this. You show courage in posting. Keep the ball rolling.
My empathy and support to you. PJ
My empathy and support to you. PJ
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Hello
Have you tried changing your patterns? Like I have certain patterns before I know I'll drink. Certain things I'll do. I'm only 4 days sober, but last weekend I changed a few things about myself and managed to get through it. Which was a miracle, because when the weekend rolls around, I' m drunk from Friday night to Sunday night.
Have you tried changing your patterns? Like I have certain patterns before I know I'll drink. Certain things I'll do. I'm only 4 days sober, but last weekend I changed a few things about myself and managed to get through it. Which was a miracle, because when the weekend rolls around, I' m drunk from Friday night to Sunday night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
I agree with the others. It has to be very clear in your brain that you can't drink. No negotiations. You have to be prepared for unfornate life situations that will seem like a clear reason to drink and have a plan of how to deal with them sober. You have to recognize that it's your AV talking and say no.
You have to make significant changes in your daily life "PJ mentioned many good ones" you can do it but you have to want it more than anything.
You have to make significant changes in your daily life "PJ mentioned many good ones" you can do it but you have to want it more than anything.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
Done4today, you are spot on. I swear I will never drink again and then by Day 3 my AV convinces me I'm feeling good and can have "1 or 2". August, have you managed to make headway I healing some of your health issues? Congrats on your sobriety too...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"I feel like such a hopeless victim writing this post. Need to get my **** together.
im glad you notice the self pity. if you want to get your **** together, yer gonna have to let go of the self pity and get into action and be vigilant.
I don't thinlk theres 1 person here who had everything change in a week. after 23 ish years of drinking, it was gonna take me more than a week or month to learn about the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of. drinking wasn't going to help me learn that. I had to give it T.I.M.E.
Things
I
Must
Earn
sittin in the garage all day wont make me a car.
im glad you notice the self pity. if you want to get your **** together, yer gonna have to let go of the self pity and get into action and be vigilant.
I don't thinlk theres 1 person here who had everything change in a week. after 23 ish years of drinking, it was gonna take me more than a week or month to learn about the underlying issues that alcohol was just a symptom of. drinking wasn't going to help me learn that. I had to give it T.I.M.E.
Things
I
Must
Earn
sittin in the garage all day wont make me a car.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm glad you came back SoberNunn 
I think a plan needs to be more than just 'not drink again'.
If we just turn on a dime and do that, there'd be no need for a plan
And, no offense to whoever said it, but it needs to be more than simply trying again til it takes IMO.
Do something different, add to your plan:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html.
Check out the February support thread too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html
D
I think a plan needs to be more than just 'not drink again'.
If we just turn on a dime and do that, there'd be no need for a plan
And, no offense to whoever said it, but it needs to be more than simply trying again til it takes IMO.
Do something different, add to your plan:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html.
Check out the February support thread too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
since you think or KNOW that alcohol has caused problems with your health - it kinda goes without saying that the booze has to go. you CAN rebuild your health, but you have to be proactive and excited about it!
when we get sober, a whole world opens up. usually not in Day 3, but if we stick with, do not drink NO MATTER WHAT, we will come to see and believe in that world.
as for the AV.....no means NO. not now, now ever. now shut up and go away.
never quit quitting.
when we get sober, a whole world opens up. usually not in Day 3, but if we stick with, do not drink NO MATTER WHAT, we will come to see and believe in that world.
as for the AV.....no means NO. not now, now ever. now shut up and go away.
never quit quitting.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Glad to see you back. As others have said, try to think of something you can add to your recovery program, and you will be amazed how empowered you will feel when you get beyond Day 3.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Sobernunn,
I'm glad you came here and posted. Lots of good advice above, starting with a plan. I had many day ones also, and I finally had to make the decision that I was done for good. It was one day at a time, and the first few days/weeks are the hardest, and then it starts to get easier. You don't want to have to keep doing those early days over.
As for moderation, I found out the hard way that it doesn't work. It is so much easier to be completely sober (I know it doesn't seem that way in the beginning, but it really is).
You can do this.
I'm glad you came here and posted. Lots of good advice above, starting with a plan. I had many day ones also, and I finally had to make the decision that I was done for good. It was one day at a time, and the first few days/weeks are the hardest, and then it starts to get easier. You don't want to have to keep doing those early days over.
As for moderation, I found out the hard way that it doesn't work. It is so much easier to be completely sober (I know it doesn't seem that way in the beginning, but it really is).
You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 296
Thanks for everyone who has responded. I'm going to come back and reread these posts when I'm feeling tempted. The truth is I can't drink in moderation at all. I can't trick myself into thinking I can. I'm so worried about my liver but the only time I'm not worried is when I'm drinking. Viscous cycle.
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