PhoenixJ

SN- glad you are still here. Keep posting- perhaps also on the daily 24 hour thread?

Zebra1275

The truth is I can't drink in moderation at all. I can't trick myself into thinking I can.

It's called denial, and it's extremely powerful. I vividly remember the moment when I knew I was an alcoholic. I was 26 , commuting to work in my car, and rehearsing what I was going to say to my fiancé because I needed to tell her I was an alcoholic.

I never gave my little speech. When I was 47, 21 years later she (by now she was my wife) found out when she had to take me to the hospital to detox after a 3 day bender.

Intellectually, I knew I was an alcoholic at 26. But almost every day between 26 and 47 I denied it because I was going to drink that night, and then quit for good tomorrow.

Algorithm

Read the book when you are neither drinking nor hung over, and without distractions. You should also read through the AVRT threads in the secular connections forum. They may clarify many of the concepts for you, and get you up to speed.

Feel free to post any questions in SC.

Done4today

Once I had convinced myself I couldn't control my drinking (which I was a full blown alki from day 1) it only took me 30 years of drinking to figure it out. I surrendered and recovery has been easy. It has been the best 14 months of my last 20 years that is certain.

As Dee and others have said, get a plan together put it into action and don't drink in between. Sounds simple but feels impossible and yet many do it successfully. You need, want and have to do it so DO IT!