Happiness and Being Sober
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by D122y 
Cat,
Addiction doesn't go away easy.
I was going crazy at 3 months clean.
Each time you give in and drink, you reset.
The addiction gets deeper.
If you made it 4 days, you can quit w out any physical issues...imo.
If you keep drinking..at this point...you will get more and more depressed.
You have to suffer for a while...then it turns to discomfort...then you get peace.
Hang in there.
Thanks.
Addiction doesn't go away easy.
I was going crazy at 3 months clean.
Each time you give in and drink, you reset.
The addiction gets deeper.
If you made it 4 days, you can quit w out any physical issues...imo.
If you keep drinking..at this point...you will get more and more depressed.
You have to suffer for a while...then it turns to discomfort...then you get peace.
Hang in there.
Thanks.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by tomsteve
there is an awesome part of the big book that talks about this thinking;
from the chapter,"more about alcoholism:"
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try itmore than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition
from the chapter,"a vision for you:"
He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
there were, and are, many people that got sober by nothing more than doing what the big book says.many didn't have the option of meetings as there weren't any in their area. after they got sober, they started a meeting in their area. that's how meetings become abundant in areas they aren't.
meetings are great, but they don't treat alcoholism. action does.
from the chapter,"more about alcoholism:"
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try itmore than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition
from the chapter,"a vision for you:"
He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
there were, and are, many people that got sober by nothing more than doing what the big book says.many didn't have the option of meetings as there weren't any in their area. after they got sober, they started a meeting in their area. that's how meetings become abundant in areas they aren't.
meetings are great, but they don't treat alcoholism. action does.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Catlover, your posts and thread are really gripping. You have insight and such intelligence. Please keep posting and keep finding your way. In conditions such as yours, one day, one hour, at a time has a lot of meaning.
Your inner experience is unique to you, and yet shared by so many here. You are in World Class company, and people literally the world over have found their way to recovery. I hope you continue to find a way to recovery in Malawi.
There are online AA meetings. If AA is not quite your cup of tea, I bet there are online SMART meetings, and probably others.
As others have said, I too use SR as my only group recovery support. It is challenging, but it is important to me at this point in my life to have utter anonymity, as I work my way toward a career change.
I dare to say 75% of the people on SR were miserably unhappy with their lives by the time they came to choose sobriety. Whether the unhappiness was cause to drink or consequence of drinking...who cares? The answer is the same. Drinking is guaranteed not to improve your unhappy life. By definition drinking will deepen your depression. Hope for your future and the wherewithal to effect real change lie in sobriety.
Your inner experience is unique to you, and yet shared by so many here. You are in World Class company, and people literally the world over have found their way to recovery. I hope you continue to find a way to recovery in Malawi.
There are online AA meetings. If AA is not quite your cup of tea, I bet there are online SMART meetings, and probably others.
As others have said, I too use SR as my only group recovery support. It is challenging, but it is important to me at this point in my life to have utter anonymity, as I work my way toward a career change.
I dare to say 75% of the people on SR were miserably unhappy with their lives by the time they came to choose sobriety. Whether the unhappiness was cause to drink or consequence of drinking...who cares? The answer is the same. Drinking is guaranteed not to improve your unhappy life. By definition drinking will deepen your depression. Hope for your future and the wherewithal to effect real change lie in sobriety.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by BixBees505
Catlover, your posts and thread are really gripping. You have insight and such intelligence. Please keep posting and keep finding your way. In conditions such as yours, one day, one hour, at a time has a lot of meaning.
Your inner experience is unique to you, and yet shared by so many here. You are in World Class company, and people literally the world over have found their way to recovery. I hope you continue to find a way to recovery in Malawi.
There are online AA meetings. If AA is not quite your cup of tea, I bet there are online SMART meetings, and probably others.
As others have said, I too use SR as my only group recovery support. It is challenging, but it is important to me at this point in my life to have utter anonymity, as I work my way toward a career change.
I dare to say 75% of the people on SR were miserably unhappy with their lives by the time they came to choose sobriety. Whether the unhappiness was cause to drink or consequence of drinking...who cares? The answer is the same. Drinking is guaranteed not to improve your unhappy life. By definition drinking will deepen your depression. Hope for your future and the wherewithal to effect real change lie in sobriety.
Your inner experience is unique to you, and yet shared by so many here. You are in World Class company, and people literally the world over have found their way to recovery. I hope you continue to find a way to recovery in Malawi.
There are online AA meetings. If AA is not quite your cup of tea, I bet there are online SMART meetings, and probably others.
As others have said, I too use SR as my only group recovery support. It is challenging, but it is important to me at this point in my life to have utter anonymity, as I work my way toward a career change.
I dare to say 75% of the people on SR were miserably unhappy with their lives by the time they came to choose sobriety. Whether the unhappiness was cause to drink or consequence of drinking...who cares? The answer is the same. Drinking is guaranteed not to improve your unhappy life. By definition drinking will deepen your depression. Hope for your future and the wherewithal to effect real change lie in sobriety.
Thanks for your kind words.
You are right about booze making matters worse. A lot worse. I started drinking heavily 2 years ago. Before that, I had problems ( like everyone does) but my word, being an alcoholic has made my problems a thousand times worse. And something like that just typifies the absurdity of addiction - why go back to something that has made your life hell? Over and over again. It's ridiculous, really.
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It's almost 5pm here, so I'll be going home in a few minutes. Called home and found out the power is gone again 
. Which means (going by usual schedules) it will come back on around 11pm. This sucks big time, and staying sober tonight is going to be a huge challenge, as I always flee to a bar when there's no electricity. I will remember all the positive things the lovely people here have written tonight.
Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate it. I will post again early morning tomorrow. Hope you all have good days / nights.
. Which means (going by usual schedules) it will come back on around 11pm. This sucks big time, and staying sober tonight is going to be a huge challenge, as I always flee to a bar when there's no electricity. I will remember all the positive things the lovely people here have written tonight.Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate it. I will post again early morning tomorrow. Hope you all have good days / nights.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by least
Welcome to the family. 
Don't say relapse is inevitable, it's not. Be determined you're not going to drink again no matter what! 
Don't say relapse is inevitable, it's not. Be determined you're not going to drink again no matter what! Member
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted by Grymt
Hey, Catlover, I know you said you cannot get to South Africa. Pity. What about Tanzania, Rwanda or Uganda?
The reason I ask is that there are individuals there who can help.
The reason I ask is that there are individuals there who can help.
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Catlover. I think you describe why so many of us get trapped by alcohol for so long. When we stop the problems are still there, and we can feel them much more acutely than we did before. The world can seem worse to begin with. Of course it's not worse, we're just not anaesthetising ourselves to it.
So many of feel bad to start with - not on a great 'high' from giving up. Sorting out any problems, regaining trust of love ones - that takes longer. But we have to have faith that it will slowly get really better. That's what all the old-timers tell us, so why not accept that on faith?
I hate early sobriety. I'm just going through it again after stupidly throwing away 4 years sobriety. I'm on day fifty something now and I'm just coming out of the hardest part of getting sober. I'm having to work my ass off to get my work back on track. I'm tired from it. But I know that it will continue to improve - that is what keeps me sober. If I thought long-term sober life was like the first few weeks or even months then I doubt I could do it. But I know that this is a really tough phase that we have to go through, but that we can get through.
Keep the faith.
Michael
So many of feel bad to start with - not on a great 'high' from giving up. Sorting out any problems, regaining trust of love ones - that takes longer. But we have to have faith that it will slowly get really better. That's what all the old-timers tell us, so why not accept that on faith?
I hate early sobriety. I'm just going through it again after stupidly throwing away 4 years sobriety. I'm on day fifty something now and I'm just coming out of the hardest part of getting sober. I'm having to work my ass off to get my work back on track. I'm tired from it. But I know that it will continue to improve - that is what keeps me sober. If I thought long-term sober life was like the first few weeks or even months then I doubt I could do it. But I know that this is a really tough phase that we have to go through, but that we can get through.
Keep the faith.
Michael
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Originally Posted by Michael66
Catlover. I think you describe why so many of us get trapped by alcohol for so long. When we stop the problems are still there, and we can feel them much more acutely than we did before. The world can seem worse to begin with. Of course it's not worse, we're just not anaesthetising ourselves to it.
So many of feel bad to start with - not on a great 'high' from giving up. Sorting out any problems, regaining trust of love ones - that takes longer. But we have to have faith that it will slowly get really better. That's what all the old-timers tell us, so why not accept that on faith?
I hate early sobriety. I'm just going through it again after stupidly throwing away 4 years sobriety. I'm on day fifty something now and I'm just coming out of the hardest part of getting sober. I'm having to work my ass off to get my work back on track. I'm tired from it. But I know that it will continue to improve - that is what keeps me sober. If I thought long-term sober life was like the first few weeks or even months then I doubt I could do it. But I know that this is a really tough phase that we have to go through, but that we can get through.
Keep the faith.
Michael
So many of feel bad to start with - not on a great 'high' from giving up. Sorting out any problems, regaining trust of love ones - that takes longer. But we have to have faith that it will slowly get really better. That's what all the old-timers tell us, so why not accept that on faith?
I hate early sobriety. I'm just going through it again after stupidly throwing away 4 years sobriety. I'm on day fifty something now and I'm just coming out of the hardest part of getting sober. I'm having to work my ass off to get my work back on track. I'm tired from it. But I know that it will continue to improve - that is what keeps me sober. If I thought long-term sober life was like the first few weeks or even months then I doubt I could do it. But I know that this is a really tough phase that we have to go through, but that we can get through.
Keep the faith.
Michael
You're right about not giving up. Yesterday when I wrote this post I was feeling terrible emotionally but during the night, despite adverse circumstances, I was at ease. I guess sobriety contains a lot of ups and downs, and probably in the beginning, the downs are more prevalent.
I hope you remain sober. Thank you so much.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
Are you looking forward to another night without light? I'm actually a bit jealous. It would force me to meditate more.
Which is what I meant to let you know about the Vipassana Meditators in Africa. There are quite a few. Maybe even in Malawi.
Which is what I meant to let you know about the Vipassana Meditators in Africa. There are quite a few. Maybe even in Malawi.
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Originally Posted by Grymt
Are you looking forward to another night without light? I'm actually a bit jealous. It would force me to meditate more.
Which is what I meant to let you know about the Vipassana Meditators in Africa. There are quite a few. Maybe even in Malawi.
Which is what I meant to let you know about the Vipassana Meditators in Africa. There are quite a few. Maybe even in Malawi.
When the fan is on, mosquitoes don't fly around me because of the wind the fan generates - it's like trying to drive right into the centre of a tornado for them. But when there is no power, there is no fan, which means mosquitoes are free to assail me as they wish and it really drives me mad. Hence why I always retreat to bars when the lights are out.
I've never really looked into meditation. Has it helped you regarding staying sober?
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Originally Posted by Grymt
Yes absolutely. Meditation is very good. Try that link and see for your self?.
Why not get a mosquito net?
Why not get a mosquito net?
I've opened the link now, but the net here is such a joke it will take some time to buffer the video.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
I couldn't help laughing about the mozzies. I know the feeling. Interestingly enough I find the meditation very helpful in accepting the mozzies as they are as long as they don't bite me.
There is a guy in the comment section with a link..hang on..
ah, that's a link to a 57mb mp3 meditation hour with the same teacher SN Goenka http://www.mediafire.com/file/ywysev...up+sitting.mp3 in hindi and english guided meditation for one hour.
edit add: here is the teacher Goenka explaining the technique (dhamma talk) in the evening at the end of day one of the ten day course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz7QHNvNFfA
There is a guy in the comment section with a link..hang on..
ah, that's a link to a 57mb mp3 meditation hour with the same teacher SN Goenka http://www.mediafire.com/file/ywysev...up+sitting.mp3 in hindi and english guided meditation for one hour.
edit add: here is the teacher Goenka explaining the technique (dhamma talk) in the evening at the end of day one of the ten day course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz7QHNvNFfA
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Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Grymt
I couldn't help laughing about the mozzies. I know the feeling. Interestingly enough I find the meditation very helpful in accepting the mozzies as they are as long as they don't bite me.
There is a guy in the comment section with a link..hang on..
ah, that's a link to a 57mb mp3 meditation hour with the same teacher SN Goenka http://www.mediafire.com/file/ywysev...up+sitting.mp3 in hindi and english guided meditation for one hour.
edit add: here is the teacher Goenka explaining the technique (dhamma talk) in the evening at the end of day one of the ten day course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz7QHNvNFfA
There is a guy in the comment section with a link..hang on..
ah, that's a link to a 57mb mp3 meditation hour with the same teacher SN Goenka http://www.mediafire.com/file/ywysev...up+sitting.mp3 in hindi and english guided meditation for one hour.
edit add: here is the teacher Goenka explaining the technique (dhamma talk) in the evening at the end of day one of the ten day course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz7QHNvNFfA
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Originally Posted by Done4today
Glad to hear you held strong Catlover. Hope you can stay strong tonight also.
Well I'm off again now. And predictably, the power is gone again
. But I'm confident I can make it through the night. Earlier today some folks were drinking but I didn't even feel the urge to indulge. Hope y'all have a lovely day/night.
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