Sat in front of the package store for a half an hour - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-19-2017, 12:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
SWTPEA61's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621

Sat in front of the package store for a half an hour


Friday after work I sat out in front of a package store just watching people walk in and out getting their beer, wine or whatever they drink.
I had a very bad week.....I had been suffering from a tooth abcess and had the tooth pulled and was in pain all week.
But, the most important discovery that week was the startling truth of my alcoholism.
You see, I live with a very difficult person to get along with, my boyfriend has anger issues and he takes out all of his anger out on me. The night before he exploded to the point where I packed a bag grabbed the dog and left. Of course I came back but, I realize now that I was drinking to escape his anger.
So, here I am in front of the package store wanting to go in thinking about what I would get......and then I stop myself......what is drinking going to do ? Yeah I'll forget about what happened until tomorrow morning it will still be there.
I left and went back home and made dinner sober and I am glad I did.
SWTPEA61 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to SWTPEA61 For This Useful Post:
Anna (02-19-2017), Grymt (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), Notimetoloose (02-19-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), queenofheartz09 (02-19-2017), SnazzyDresser (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), thomas11 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 01:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,953
"Of course" you went back? No, not of course. Why did you? If he is emotionally abusive and it is a threat to your sobriety? What does he say he's going to do on his part to control his issues and better your relationship? If the answer is nothing, get out of that.
BrendaChenowyth is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to BrendaChenowyth For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), PurpleCat (02-19-2017), queenofheartz09 (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), Solarion (02-20-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017), Zebra1275 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 01:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Poppy79's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Good on you for not going in and buying the dreaded booze. Gotta be proud of that.
As for your abusive partner, sounds like you need to tell him flat to change his ways and if he can't, think very hard about whether you want to stay in a toxic relationship.
Easier said than done I know. But you need to put yourself as number 1 priority in these early days, not him.
I hope he is not violent towards you?
Poppy79 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Poppy79 For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 02:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Notimetoloose's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,057
SWTPEA61, you did good, waking up hangover free never gets old.
I found emotional distress a huge trigger.
I do not like conflict... it is emotionally dangerous and being sober has allowed me to move away from many people who agitate my emotions.
Take care of yourself.
__________________
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate" - Carl Jung.

Someone spoke to me all the days of my life,
into my ear, slowly, taking their time.
Said to me: live, live, live!
It was death.

Etiquetas: Jaime Sabines
Notimetoloose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Notimetoloose For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), queenofheartz09 (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 02:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,250
You are living with abuse and there is no reason to continue to do so. There are agencies and groups that will help you. You deserve respect and peace in your life. Please make a call:

National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Abuse Defined

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support (US)

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies

Canada: Home « HotPeachPages International
Canada: domestic violence information « HotPeachPages International
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), Solarion (02-20-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017), uncorked (02-19-2017), Zebra1275 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 02:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
badger257's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 793
Good for you for not buying anything!!!!!!
badger257 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to badger257 For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), PhoenixJ (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 03:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 21,573
Blog Entries: 2
Good for not drinking
Abuse is wrong- any way it is made.
Be safe- follow the advice others give.
Take care
PhoenixJ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to PhoenixJ For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), Sober369 (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 03:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
sober style
 
SnazzyDresser's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,902
Good job not drinking, Swtpea.
SnazzyDresser is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SnazzyDresser For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 03:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,189
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWTPEA61 View Post

Friday after work I sat out in front of a package store just watching people walk in and out getting their beer, wine or whatever they drink.
When I passed by and looked at the local bar after work for a few days in a row. And entertained the thought of drinking. On about the third day I pulled in and ordered up heavy.

Entertaining the thought of drinking is an insane thing for me to do!

M-Bob
Mountainmanbob is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Mountainmanbob For This Useful Post:
BrendaChenowyth (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-20-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 06:13 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
uncorked's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Swtpea, good for you for not buying any alcohol. My ex was emotionally abusive and I used alcohol to cope. Not good. Drinking makes you feel like his words have validity because you feel so crappy about yourself after you drink. So take back your power, girl. Sounds like you're on the road to that.
uncorked is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to uncorked For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), Notimetoloose (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 06:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,476
Blog Entries: 1
I'm glad you didn't drink but like Anna I'm worried for you in your domestic situation.

She's given you some good links to check out.

stay safe swtpea

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 07:45 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
SWTPEA61's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
You are living with abuse and there is no reason to continue to do so. There are agencies and groups that will help you. You deserve respect and peace in your life. Please make a call:

National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Abuse Defined

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support (US)

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies

Canada: Home « HotPeachPages International
Canada: domestic violence information « HotPeachPages International
Thanks Anna
SWTPEA61 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SWTPEA61 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 07:49 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
SWTPEA61's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by uncorked View Post
Swtpea, good for you for not buying any alcohol. My ex was emotionally abusive and I used alcohol to cope. Not good. Drinking makes you feel like his words have validity because you feel so crappy about yourself after you drink. So take back your power, girl. Sounds like you're on the road to that.
Yes I am planning the right time and the right day......it is coming......getting rid of the booze was the first step
SWTPEA61 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to SWTPEA61 For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 07:51 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
SWTPEA61's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm glad you didn't drink but like Anna I'm worried for you in your domestic situation.

She's given you some good links to check out.

stay safe swtpea

D
He's not physically abusive its all mental abuse
SWTPEA61 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SWTPEA61 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 07:58 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
SWTPEA61's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: North East
Posts: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poppy79 View Post
Good on you for not going in and buying the dreaded booze. Gotta be proud of that.
As for your abusive partner, sounds like you need to tell him flat to change his ways and if he can't, think very hard about whether you want to stay in a toxic relationship.
Easier said than done I know. But you need to put yourself as number 1 priority in these early days, not him.
I hope he is not violent towards you?
Thanks poppy .......no he's not physical but at one point I thought he might hit me......he's so loving and forgiving but I just don't trust him any more and I know there will be the next time I just don't know when and who can livelike that wondering when he's going to blow off steam again.
SWTPEA61 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SWTPEA61 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-19-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 08:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,476
Blog Entries: 1
Abuse is abuse swtpea - and if you were scared he might hit you that's still incredibly damaging to you.

I've been though it myself so I'm glad you're thinking about getting out of that situation.

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Anna (02-20-2017), MLD51 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-19-2017)
Old 02-19-2017, 09:58 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
MsCooterBrown's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Great Outdoors
Posts: 1,992
Blog Entries: 2
Well....Tell you one thing. I learned the hard way. If he starts punching the wall in a FIT of uncalled for anger...YOU will be next. I waited until he broke my nose and tossed me around like a rag doll.

No one can tell you what to do. But from experience...it is a matter of time before he goes [email protected] crazy. My kids got to get a ride from the cops to the ER after mine. They don't bounce back ..I know you are trying to do one thing at a time ...Once you live in peace you will wonder why you waited. <3
__________________
“What other people think of you is none of your business” (Don’t know who said this but it is my all time favorite!)
MsCooterBrown is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MsCooterBrown For This Useful Post:
MLD51 (02-20-2017)
Old 02-20-2017, 10:15 AM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 363
I live with a difficult spouse myself. And I learned something interesting about my situation recently when I tapered off alcohol and eventually had 15 days sober.

I always suspected my drinking was a huge contributing factor to our difficulties. But, surprisingly it wasn't a huge factor to OUR difficulties. It was only a HUGE factor to MY difficulties.

It's kind of hard to me to explain . . . but when H acted like a jerk and I drank to dull the pain of the abuse, I assumed I had some culpability in the abuse; like my slurred speech and vision contributed to the escalation. So in the morning, I was quick to forgive what had happened the night before since I was sure I likely over reacted; likely imagined insults where there weren't any, etc . . .

But what I found after a few weeks fully sober was that my actions/reactions had absolutely nothing to do with H's abuse. His actions were all his. And now when he's in one of his moods, I wake up as irritated/mad at him as I was when I went to bed. I no longer forgive the unforgivable.

I'm not sure exactly what I'm saying here. . .

I think just that giving up alcohol will free you to see the abuse more clearly . . . and free you to really deal with it, instead of living in the fog of it all. Ya know?
milly4me is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to milly4me For This Useful Post:
Notimetoloose (02-20-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-20-2017)
Old 02-20-2017, 10:26 AM   #19 (permalink)
Giving up is NOT an option.
 
MLD51's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 6,474
My first husband was emotionally abusive to me. I stayed for a lot longer than I should have - for most of the usual reasons. But someone wise told me that abuse is abuse, and it was probably only a matter of time until all that anger would turn into physical abuse. The first time he cornered me in the bedroom, screaming into my face, not letting me leave the room by blocking the door, I packed up and went to my mother's with my 2 year-old daughter, who had witnessed the whole thing. He never laid a hand on me, but the scars are still there, 23 years later.

Please protect yourself and your sobriety. Make a plan to leave, and do it. I cannot stress enough that you are in a dangerous situation.
__________________
A few bad chapters does not mean your story is over.

12/4/2014 - The day I started a new chapter.
MLD51 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MLD51 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-20-2017), MsCooterBrown (02-20-2017), Notimetoloose (02-20-2017), SWTPEA61 (02-20-2017)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:41 AM.