SunnyDenver

Hi All, back again after some time away - and back to drinking yet again. Count me as one of those who just can't seem to stay stopped. I'll string together 7 days, even 20 days, then something trips me up. Surprisingly, the last two nights I've not finished my 1.5 liter of wine like I usually do, maybe there is hope in that. My last bender a few weeks ago, though, was downright scary. I vaguely remember screaming obscenities to myself in the apartment parking garage (no idea who heard me but I'm sure some neighbors did), smashing a bottle on my kitchen floor (cut my hand, glass everywhere) and finding an empty wine magnum in my car. IN MY CAR- god knows who I could have hurt driving around like that.

So here I am, ready to make another plan of action and attack. I've made sobriety plans before but don't follow through. It's like I'm sitting at a table, and I really want sobriety, but my AV is sitting right next to me at the table and doesn't want it. So how do I out smart, out action my adversary at the table?

I'm also curious for advice on 'massive action'. I hear that a lot on here but wonder what it actually means to people to take it. What do you consider massive? I also hear 'take it easy' - they seem contradictory. So, today, for example, I'm tired and inclined to eat well, rest, hydrate, take a walk, make my plan and gear up for the week. But do I need to be doing something more 'massive' this time around? Clearly what I've been doing isn't working. And yes, I should go to AA meetings but (my AV) finds every excuse not to - in a cunning way, of course.

doggonecarl

I've not seen the term "massive action" used on SR. But it's appropriate. Put as much effort into recovery as you do into drinking and that will probably lead to success.

Action means doing stuff to get sober, not just thinking how much you want to be sober. Getting to an AA meeting is action. Picking up the Big Book, going home with phone numbers of other AA'ers is action. Coming up with a list of things you are going to do instead of drinking--then actually doing them is action.

I'm pretty sure you know the difference between action and inaction. Because inaction leads to drinking.

doggonecarl

Taking it easy doesn't mean taking it easy on your recovery. It means don't take on more than you can manage while you are seeking sobriety. For instance, you don't quit smoking at the same time as you quit drinking, or worry about dieting, or try to clean the entire house, or move, or take on more responsibilities at work.

Take it easy and focus on your recovery.

Jojay

I agree with doggonecarl.Just to add,there are some links on here,SR,regarding working our own sobriety plan.

D122y

Sunny,

Wanting to quit is half the battle.

You have some seriously great reasons to get clean.

The answers to why you can't stop after 7 or 20 days is addiction.

Alcoholic is alcohol addiction.

The crave lasts a lifetime. I get my crave usually around 3 pm. My trigger is getting off work or finishing something..e.g. working out, golf, yard work etc.

I get through those crave times and feel like a winner.

I totally understand your feelings of self loathing etc. When you fail at getting through the crave. Been there. It is the same feeling as food addiction. I am trying to eat right these days, but last night i ate greasy frozen pizza rolls before bed. I felt like a total loser afterwards.

The drinking crave never goes away, we only get better at handling it.

I now place booze in a poison status. I watch folks that drink too much and i see how they degenerate. I see them try to act sober. It is sad. The next day they are sick. Their eyes are red and they are craving a drink. It is a sad state.

I remind myself this all the time. I come here all the time. It is part of my plan.

Exercise was the main way i motivated myself to stay clean initially. But, now as my sober months add up, i love sobriety. I love being healthy of body and mind.

Alcohol damages our brains. It alters us. It makes our brains abnormal. Us addicts can't drink 1 and be happy. We need to get drunk. That is why we can't ever drink.

My wife hasn't had a drink since October. She had 1 margarita. That is normal. That is not me.

Stay clean.

Thanks.

Coldfusion

Hi, Sunny!

I'm sure there are lots of AA meetings near Denver. Look up the schedule and get to one today! If you have questions, we can probably answer them here.

Aellyce

I have never seen the term "massive action" before but for me successful recovery strategy involves a good balance of constructive actions (targeting the goal to get and stay sober) and constructive relaxation (not impulsive or compulsive action or overdoing things to substitute drinking, taking time to rest). It takes a lot of discipline in my personal experience. "Massive" is a word I personally don't like in this context being to me it kinda suggests yet another excess and compulsion... but perhaps it's just me.

SunnyDenver

Thanks everyone. D122Y, yes, I see those people too, I saw a woman the other day drinking wine at 10am and frankly felt pretty disgusted at the thought. I keep thinking in hindsight I wish I had recorded myself and how crappy I felt after a bender so I could replay it and remind myself what I looked like, how I felt.

I too get the crave usually in mid-afternoon, though if I'm on a bender it's 24 hours a day. I guess what I need to do is every day, when I wake up, remind myself what I am going to do to stay sober that day - and then do it. Use a telescope, spot my potential triggers and challenges and address them. And have a vision for what a successful day would be and carry it out. Then, I can look back on it with confidence, that today, this day, I was sober, thoughtful, and successful.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Denver.

Welcome back.

I think the term "massive action" may be quite confusing. I would split it into "persistent and comprehensive".

You make a plan and follow it through each day every day. Doesn't matter what. It's easy to get into a trap like "I've managed a month, and now I can relax". It's a dangerous mistake.

Comprehensive. The more areas of life are covered by changes - the better. Sobriety changes perception of life - starting from "what do I do with all the time on my hands" and proceeding with questioning every "truth" which doesn't seem so unshakable any more.

You may start "massive action" with planning on activities to do instead of usual drinking routine, having a list of actions BEFORE urges hit. Then expand it into healthy nutrition and workouts. Then new hobbies, etc.

Massive sounds overwhelming, and overwhelming may lead to failure.

Best wishes to you.

Anna

Taking it easy was important to me in the first week or so, because I was a mess. I did basics to get through the day - cooking, laundry, that kind of thing. But, I didn't take it easy on recovery. I don't use AA, but I put a great deal of effort into reading and learning about recovery. And, my kind of massive action, was getting balance into my life. I needed to find things I enjoyed doing and people I enjoyed spending time with, in order to support my recovery.

SunnyDenver

This is key for me, I've become such a loner. I had (past tense starting today) become such an isolated drinker so I could get as messed up as I wanted to with nobody judging me. And I didn't have to drive- although I did anyway when the wine ran out to get more.

Dee74

Welcome back

I have to admit I've never seen or used the term massive action either.

For me there's two parts to a plan - making one and using one.

One part without the other is like a Ferrari without wheels, or wheels without a Ferrari...

There's to main placks to a plan - finding support, and using it; and making the cahnges you need to to reflect your desire to be sober.

For me, my whole life was about drinking, so virtually everytthign had to change.

Your mileage may vary...but it's true for everyone that we get back what we put into getting sober and staying that way

D