FBL

I decided I wanted to live more than I wanted to die.

Behappy1

I became someone that I loathed.
My life became unmanageable
I was doing things that I would NEVER do normally
I was wasting my life and my talents
I pure and simply hated myself.
I was letting my family down.

I would quit, these things became a distant memory, I thought I could moderate
I would relapse.

In the end the reasons for quitting never changed.

courage2

I was a daily heavy drinker for 35 years, from a family loaded w/alcoholism & depression. It never occurred to me to quit, even as my health deteriorated, my depression grew, and my days came to revolve around drinking and lying.

Then one day, while mildly drunk as usual, I found out that 2 people I'd been close to had killed themselves. Very suddenly I realized that soon I would just be an addition to the list of lives destroyed by alcohol and depression. I decided to see if I could stop that from happening.

Sober369

My last big drunk nearly killed me. I was so sick. I had been that sick and possibly even sicker before, but that was the line in the sand for me. That didn't end my drinking immediately, I had to taper off a bit. Not that I recommend that at all, it's just how it happened for me this time. It made me see I am definitely alcoholic. I am no longer having any denials over that, and that makes all the difference for me. And, I've accepted that now that I know, I have to do something about it. If I don't, it's on me what happens to me and the ones I hurt by drinking.
I've gotten to recovery lots of times in the past, but it feels different now. I feel like if I drink even a sip, I am throwing away my opportunity to have a happy life. It just feels more concrete. I am no longer a victim of alcoholism, I am a survivor of alcoholism.

AlaskaGirl

I haven’t actually put in writing why I finally quit when I did.

I half heartedly tried to quit many times throughout the years. I was hell bent on some form of moderation. I didn’t want to give up the “fun” and oblivion that alcohol brought me, despite the negative consequences.

Here was my bottom: My husband and I went on a three night ski weekend with several friends. I love to ski, I am good at it. I don’t get to go as often as I would like and I was really looking forward to it. I got half-drunk the night before we went and was a little hung over the morning we left for the trip, but I had some hair of the dog when we got there and skied that afternoon and evening. That was it for the whole trip. That night it was on. We all drank a lot, the next day I was too hung over to ski and started drinking before noon. It was New Year’s Eve. I must have drank a lot all day, but the whole day is pretty hazy. I only remember bits and pieces.

When I woke up on New Year’s Day my body was wrecked. I couldn’t keep anything down. Friends were going out skiing but I could barely bring myself to shower and try to drink some water. I still felt terrible the next day when we had to pack up to leave. After a three day bender, which other people witnessed, It took me a week to feel human.

So that was it. Instead of enjoying the time with friends doing something I loved, I spent nearly the whole time at the ski resort either drunk or sick, and I barely remember the whole time we were there.

I will never drink again.