im an alcoholic and i need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
im an alcoholic and i need help
hi all
I've never posted on this sight before and didn't know if I should but I haven't really got anywhere else to turn and my life is in a bad way.
I'm an alcoholic as the title sais, I'm only 20 but I've been drinking for years and its just got worse and worse . I started drinking when I was younger to hide my social anxiety and feel more relaxed but then I stared drinking pretty much everyday.
I've gone through a lot of painful things because of alcohol and its made my life so much worse but when I try and stop drinking I always start again and now every time I drink I black out . its terrifying I also always drink alone . I'm sitting here today shaking because I'm so hung over I had the most embarrassing episode of my life last night ,
I decided to go to the swimming pool drunk and ended up passing out at some point, the staff there had to get me changed and help me home I'm so embarrassed I can never go back I want to stop drinking more than anything.
I've never posted on this sight before and didn't know if I should but I haven't really got anywhere else to turn and my life is in a bad way.
I'm an alcoholic as the title sais, I'm only 20 but I've been drinking for years and its just got worse and worse . I started drinking when I was younger to hide my social anxiety and feel more relaxed but then I stared drinking pretty much everyday.
I've gone through a lot of painful things because of alcohol and its made my life so much worse but when I try and stop drinking I always start again and now every time I drink I black out . its terrifying I also always drink alone . I'm sitting here today shaking because I'm so hung over I had the most embarrassing episode of my life last night ,
I decided to go to the swimming pool drunk and ended up passing out at some point, the staff there had to get me changed and help me home I'm so embarrassed I can never go back I want to stop drinking more than anything.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Welcome.
Lots of what you say sounds very familiar to me. And how good that you've spotted this negative cycle, and that alcoholic is now a problem, rather than the solution it at first seemed to be. That is a piece of wisdom to hold on to. Alcohol gradually makes our lives more and more unmanageable if we persist in following the obsession.
Why not look up your local AA meetings and go along to some of them. You do not need to speak in front of the group at all if you don't want to. But you will get a lot of identification with what you hear, which can be a massive comfort in the early days of sobriety, and the folk there who have walked this path before us really do help us as they share their experiences and strength, giving us hope that we too can succeed in a new, sober life, free from shame and fear. It really is possible you know.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Lots of what you say sounds very familiar to me. And how good that you've spotted this negative cycle, and that alcoholic is now a problem, rather than the solution it at first seemed to be. That is a piece of wisdom to hold on to. Alcohol gradually makes our lives more and more unmanageable if we persist in following the obsession.
Why not look up your local AA meetings and go along to some of them. You do not need to speak in front of the group at all if you don't want to. But you will get a lot of identification with what you hear, which can be a massive comfort in the early days of sobriety, and the folk there who have walked this path before us really do help us as they share their experiences and strength, giving us hope that we too can succeed in a new, sober life, free from shame and fear. It really is possible you know.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
hello thanks for the reply
yes I thought alcohol was the solution for a while but its ruining my life and making me ill. it feels good to talk about it on here I don't think I can manage this by myself.
I've wanted to go to AA so many times but I live in a small town and would know people in the meeting, I think the shame and embarrassment would be too much
yes I thought alcohol was the solution for a while but its ruining my life and making me ill. it feels good to talk about it on here I don't think I can manage this by myself.
I've wanted to go to AA so many times but I live in a small town and would know people in the meeting, I think the shame and embarrassment would be too much
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
The good news is you don't have to feel that way ever again. Let this be the moment you commit to sobriety. Your life will change for the better for it and this cringeworthy experience will be something of the past. Not to be forgotten, but never has to be repeated again. I've had many embarrassing experiences like this, and they only got worse over time.
Once you pass the invisible line where you start drinking till passing out, you can never go back to drinking normally, so spare yourself the wondering and experimenting.
I know today you feel horrible and would want to do anything not to feel that way. The problem comes some time later, when the hangover and embarrassment fades a bit, and you have a choice whether to drink again. I can promise you choosing sobriety is the right choice.
And let me just throw it out there - it is possible to get sober without AA. I did and I'm saying it because it was a revelation to me at the time that it could be just as simple as committing and finding support here. There are other options if AA doesn't work for you. However, if embarrassment is the only reason that prevents you from trying it out - your life is more important, and all people are there for the same reason. Just know you have options and it is your choice.
Welcome to the forum.
Stay here, you will find a lot of support and information. Feel better today and know change is possible and within your reach. 
Once you pass the invisible line where you start drinking till passing out, you can never go back to drinking normally, so spare yourself the wondering and experimenting.
I know today you feel horrible and would want to do anything not to feel that way. The problem comes some time later, when the hangover and embarrassment fades a bit, and you have a choice whether to drink again. I can promise you choosing sobriety is the right choice.
And let me just throw it out there - it is possible to get sober without AA. I did and I'm saying it because it was a revelation to me at the time that it could be just as simple as committing and finding support here. There are other options if AA doesn't work for you. However, if embarrassment is the only reason that prevents you from trying it out - your life is more important, and all people are there for the same reason. Just know you have options and it is your choice.
Welcome to the forum.
Stay here, you will find a lot of support and information. Feel better today and know change is possible and within your reach. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 38
hello melki
thank you for your message . you are so right it always happens like this, I'll get totally wasted and then wake up and tell myself ill never drink again and I don't for a while sometimes weeks even but then something will happen or nothing will happen and I get drunk again because I tell myself this time it will be different, I wont pass out again but I always do.
I know ill get the urge to drink again but I pray ill be strong this time and make it through
thank you for your message . you are so right it always happens like this, I'll get totally wasted and then wake up and tell myself ill never drink again and I don't for a while sometimes weeks even but then something will happen or nothing will happen and I get drunk again because I tell myself this time it will be different, I wont pass out again but I always do.
I know ill get the urge to drink again but I pray ill be strong this time and make it through
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,756
I just want to add that it's absolutely fantastic that at your age you've reached out, you have sooo much life to live you don't need alcohol holding you back. I wish you all the best in your recovery. Stay with us, keep posting, join the daily threads put yourself first.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by drunkgirl97 
I know ill get the urge to drink again but I pray ill be strong this time and make it through
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: deepest england
Posts: 1,119
Keep posting on here ... there are some fab people on here with much advice and kindness... you should be err proud of yourself for posting and reaching out for help. .. you can change and your life can become amazingly better. ..hang in there! I found reading books on recovery immensely helpful...amazon has tonnes for cheap if u can look there. ..thinking of you today and sending positive thoughts !
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by drunkgirl97
no I wish there was 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,637
Hi DG. Perhaps change your name to something positive? All the shares here are gold, so I will not reinvent the wheel. Just to offer support and my thinking of you. Be proactive- sobriety does not just happen. Working through crap takes work and support. Keep posting. PJ (:-)>
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome drunkgirl!
You sound like you're where I was at when I was 21.
I got to the point where I just knew that if I kept drinking I was going to die and I knew I had to do something about it. That was the worst place to be in--knowing I couldn't live with booze, but also believing I couldn't live without it.
But I knew I had no choice if I wanted to live, so I reached out for help. I got into a detox, from there went into a treatment centre, followed by sober living. I also got into AA, went to regular meetings, got a sponsor and worked the steps.
It took time and work, but I found out life without alcohol could be better than I'd ever dreamed. I still had problems--life still happens, but I was better able to cope and actually enjoy life.
Stick around here and you'll get support and information to help you make a plan to get and stay sober. Then you won't have to be drunkgirl anymore.
You sound like you're where I was at when I was 21.
I got to the point where I just knew that if I kept drinking I was going to die and I knew I had to do something about it. That was the worst place to be in--knowing I couldn't live with booze, but also believing I couldn't live without it.
But I knew I had no choice if I wanted to live, so I reached out for help. I got into a detox, from there went into a treatment centre, followed by sober living. I also got into AA, went to regular meetings, got a sponsor and worked the steps.
It took time and work, but I found out life without alcohol could be better than I'd ever dreamed. I still had problems--life still happens, but I was better able to cope and actually enjoy life.
Stick around here and you'll get support and information to help you make a plan to get and stay sober. Then you won't have to be drunkgirl anymore.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,463
Hi and Welcome, I'm glad you're reaching out.
I also turned to alcohol to self-medicate anxiety/depression and had no idea that it would lead me, very quickly, to alcoholism. I believe that you will be much better to manage your anxiety when you are sober. I also had blackouts towards the end of my drinking days and they are so very scary, especially for women. Remind yourself that you never have to go through this again.
I also turned to alcohol to self-medicate anxiety/depression and had no idea that it would lead me, very quickly, to alcoholism. I believe that you will be much better to manage your anxiety when you are sober. I also had blackouts towards the end of my drinking days and they are so very scary, especially for women. Remind yourself that you never have to go through this again.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Wanting to quit is half the fight.
Getting educated on addiction and craving will put you in a position to get through the first month.
You will suffer physically and mentally for the first month.
Then it is mostly mental.
Eat when you crave. Sweets trick your brain and eases the discomfort.
AA didn't tell me what i just told you. SR did.
This place saved my life.
Thanks.
Getting educated on addiction and craving will put you in a position to get through the first month.
You will suffer physically and mentally for the first month.
Then it is mostly mental.
Eat when you crave. Sweets trick your brain and eases the discomfort.
AA didn't tell me what i just told you. SR did.
This place saved my life.
Thanks.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: East of Eden
Posts: 420
Hi Drunkgirl. Don't be afraid to try an AA meeting. You really don't have anything to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Making a positive change for yourself, admitting you have a problem and are seeking help is a HUGE step and something to hold your head up about. Think of all the people in the world who are bogged down in misery and won't ask for help because their pride gets in the way.. And if there are people that judge you, that just means they either don't get it or they have their own ugliness inside they haven't worked out yet. Even if you find AA isn't for you, there are tons of other options available to help you get started on your journey! Wishing you the best!
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