josphine28

I'm looking for recommendations and advice on methods to get sober without going to a 12 step group. I tried it; I tried it for a LONG time, and it just didn't work for me. Until recently, I was immensely discouraged, because I thought 12 step groups were the only way to get sober--and no matter how hard I tried, or how many sponsors I worked with, or what step I was on, I would eventually drink again. I thought it worked for everyone else, and I was the one person, the exception to the rule, and that meant I'd never be able to get well.

I have recently started to find some new methods and have started to learn that people do find long term sobriety without relying on a 12 step group. It's like a whole world has opened up for me! But I've only just scratched the tip of the iceberg.

I would love to hear from people who have been able to get sober without a 12 step group. What has worked for you?

Bunny211

A lot of folks on here use SMART or AVRT.
My cousin is sober - he incorporated meditation and mindfulness into his life and has been sober for 3 years without ever going to a 12 step meeting.

Grymt

I could never get the steps. I found them a hindrance. It's just how my brain works or something. But, not drinking, going to AA meetings, Listening, talking, learning meditation, learning relaxation techniques while trying to live an ordinary life day by day, trying to be good and not drinking is good for me. I did have to hit my rock bottom though which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

edit add: I just want to underline that for me AA was essential and a place I would always go back to.

Poppy79

I got sober by giving myself a kick start with 3 weeks in rehab where I accumulated coping tools. CBT therapy, art therapy, music therapy, daily exercise, plain ol therapy with a psychiatrist, ensuring I get enough sleep, eating well. I have Valium on hand if and when I need and also Antabuse (a medication you take daily that causes severe sickness if you drink) to also take when I feel my resolve slipping.
I'm sure there are lots of other 'tools' to use to get and stay sober
I hope you find yourself some tools for your sober tool box.

noneever

AVRT is popular here on SR and seems to work well for some people. Have a look in the secular connections forums.

Maudcat

I have looking into abuddhist based recovery program that was mentioned by someone in another thread. I amvery intrigued! It's called Refuge Recovery.

ljc267

I think this is great advice.

Grymt

Vipassana meditation by SN Goenka is free, all you have to do is make a booking and apply. There are many centers throughout the world.

Vipassana Meditation

Click on the link and Be Happy

Dee74

Hi josphine28

I got sober with the help of SR

Outside of this website, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

There are many ways up the mountain - find the one that works for you

D

Gottalife

One of the things about treatment for any problem is you have to clearly identify exactly what the problem is. AA does this with the abc s , "probably no human power could relieve our alcoholism". An individual either has reached this point or they haven't. If they have, they have probably tried a lot of alternatives to get there. If they haven't, there are still other human options on the table, and one of them may work.

I have only met one person who I was convinced was in the same, end stage, alcoholism that I was, who got sober and stayed that way until his death after 20 years.

He did it on will power. He had a good reason for staying away from AA and the steps. Yet he said the whole time had been white knuckle dry drunk type sobriety, he found no real happiness, and regretted that he had not joined AA. If he was here today, he would say that yes it can be done, he did it, but the result wasn't really worth the effort.

josphine28

Hi Gottalife,

I appreciate where you are coming from, and AA works for a lot of people--no denying that. I'm glad that it works for you. I have my own reasons for not pursuing AA any longer--and I am not interested in any advice about going back to AA. There are plenty of people who do get sober, without white knuckling it, without AA. That's why I started this thread--to hear from some of them. Thank you, though, for sharing your perspective. I know you are sharing what works for you and want to help.

Forward12

While AA is pretty much the gold standard in recovery, it isn't the only game in town. Tons of people have found solid sobriety with secular programs like smart and rational recovery. Through addiction therapists, rehab, self help books, and just plain ol' willpower.
All paths lead to the same goal, you just have to find the one that works for you.

Anna

As you have seen, there are other methods of recovery that work well for people. I have mainly used books and SR and set the intention of maintaining balance in my life. You will always find lots of support here.

Mattq2

I think that is what I love about SR. There are so many here with so much experience with many types of recovery methods. I can try or use bits and pieces in a way that works best for me. I have never been to AA but I understand some about it from being here. As long as it's working I'll keep at it.

Poppy79

I'm not white knuckling and I don't go to AA. Plenty of other ways to find sobriety in my opinion.

least

I used to have weekly sessions with an addiction counselor, along with my daily visits to SR. I stopped seeing her two years ago and use SR only and I'm doing just fine.

I stopped seeing her because I was five years sober and happy, also she changed jobs and could no longer see individual clients.

zerothehero

In addition to SR, I have read books on mindful recovery, Refuge Recovery, SMART, the AA Big Book, Buddhism, neuropsychology... Eventually, I agreed with the assertion in AA that I needed to develop my spiritual side. I enjoy each morning meditating (without a hangover) before going to work, and I continue to read books that enrich my soul. I play music with friends (some sober some far from it). I walk the dogs and love my wife. I cultivate gratitude. And I've learned about acceptance. It's all good.

Sober369

I struggled to get sober in AA for a long time, too. Had several periods, once two years. Always drank again, and people said, "Don't worry, relapse is part of recovery". That could be true, but I don't want to do that anymore. I wan't reliable, life long sobriety where I get better all the time.
Then, when I realized I had to quit drinking or quit living, one or the other, I did not want to go back to AA. I wanted to try something different, but I knew I needed help. I tried to get into an outpatient rehab, but couldn't afford it.
I have been back to AA meetings, not sure if they're helping or not, but my main support comes from SR. I also have a former friend from AA who is very supportive.
I've decided to just throw everything I can at this. I'm reading a lot of books on recovery. I'm working on good nutrition and have found things on the internet talking about the importance of good nutrition for recovering alcoholics, especially at first, but ongoing, too.
I have a plan written out to get me through the day without a drink, there's a good link for that at the top of the newcomer thread. I keep adding to and revising my plan.
I'm trying to find other ways to get healthy pleasure in life, like walking my dog, playing with my grandson, hot baths, and ice cream. The ice cream and the healthy eating don't match up, but it's working for me.
I'm doing a morning meditation time every morning, too. Sometimes I even pray. I have kind of broken off with God, who I use to love more than anything, but I feel like that's okay for now and we're going to get it back together soon.
I'm just doing everything that sounds like it could possibly help, and will drop what doesn't and add as I go along.
I hope you find your best path! I'm sure you will if you keep trying.

DesertTraveler

You have to do what works for you. For some, it's tomato, for some, to-MATO.

AA is good for support, but not for everybody.

Whatever gets you to sobriety and keeps you there is the right way in my opinion. I find that Campral really helps stave off the cravings. That, copious amounts of chocolate, soda, and things to divert attention from drinking, like books, exercise, family, SR all help...

Dee74

These threads work best when everyone sticks to whats worked for them, rather than giving opinions on what's worked for someone else.

Let keep it rolling along good lines

Thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR