Please Help Me
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi and welcome catlover 
the February support thread some people have mentioned is here:
When I first came to SR I had no idea of how to stop drinking beyond a day or two, and no idea at all on how to stay stopped....but I knew I wanted - needed- change.
I threw myself into this community and I got a lot of support and gave a lot of support out to others.
Day by day I stayed sober and week by week I changed.
This year makes 10 years sober for a guy who once couldn't stay sober for 3 days in a row.
Stick around - we're good people here and you're not alone
D
the February support thread some people have mentioned is here:
When I first came to SR I had no idea of how to stop drinking beyond a day or two, and no idea at all on how to stay stopped....but I knew I wanted - needed- change.
I threw myself into this community and I got a lot of support and gave a lot of support out to others.
Day by day I stayed sober and week by week I changed.
This year makes 10 years sober for a guy who once couldn't stay sober for 3 days in a row.
Stick around - we're good people here and you're not alone
D
Wow. 10 years sober. Incredible. That's absolutely fantastic. I gotta say I do find the notion of going a decade without a drop absolutely daunting and terrifying, but like you wrote, just take it day by day, week by week. Others have written something similar. I guess you crawl before you walk.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
Good decision not to go to bars, Catlover.
And I would also suggest to plan alternative activities to distract you from thoughts about drinking - and they will show up, be sure.
Sometimes, especially in early recovery, not knowing what to do with all this liberated time on hands can push this subtle equilibrium to the wrong side.
Make a list of things to do when urges hit. Anything. Start planning right now - just like your favorite team plans their tactics way ahead of the game.
And I would also suggest to plan alternative activities to distract you from thoughts about drinking - and they will show up, be sure.
Sometimes, especially in early recovery, not knowing what to do with all this liberated time on hands can push this subtle equilibrium to the wrong side.
Make a list of things to do when urges hit. Anything. Start planning right now - just like your favorite team plans their tactics way ahead of the game.
You're so right about planning something that will keep me busy. Unfortunately, living in such a poor country, there isn't that much to do, but I can definitely find something.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
welcome catlover!
I hope you join the Feb. 2017 thread. The support you get from it will be amazing!
I quit drinking 8 months ago and I have only been using this site and learning from the people here. Of course the more things you do the better that is just what has worked for me so it is possible!
I hope you join the Feb. 2017 thread. The support you get from it will be amazing!
I quit drinking 8 months ago and I have only been using this site and learning from the people here.
Of course the more things you do the better that is just what has worked for me so it is possible!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Cassandralee
Thanks catlover.
What bought me here was that I knew if I stayed on the path I was on, drinking excessively, every day, I would lose everything. My health was starting to suffer. The only time I wasn't depressed, was when I was drinking. I was noticing the changes in how unwell I not only felt, but looked. Plus i was getting poorer and poorer, spending all my money on alcohol.
When temptation arises, which was heaps in the first few weeks, but much less so now, I think about bad I felt from drinking, rather than how good that temporary feeling is. I'm focusing on living a meaningful and healthy life and finding joy in the world rather than dulling my emotions. It's not easy, but if I can do it, so can you.
I had a huge craving yesterday. I almost gave in. I was dreaming of the taste and how it would feel to pour that down my throat. Because the thing is, I don't usually sip drinks to enjoy. I'm after the rush. It took a lot of willpower and visualization of the aftermath. Each day you will get stronger.
What bought me here was that I knew if I stayed on the path I was on, drinking excessively, every day, I would lose everything. My health was starting to suffer. The only time I wasn't depressed, was when I was drinking. I was noticing the changes in how unwell I not only felt, but looked. Plus i was getting poorer and poorer, spending all my money on alcohol.
When temptation arises, which was heaps in the first few weeks, but much less so now, I think about bad I felt from drinking, rather than how good that temporary feeling is. I'm focusing on living a meaningful and healthy life and finding joy in the world rather than dulling my emotions. It's not easy, but if I can do it, so can you.
I had a huge craving yesterday. I almost gave in. I was dreaming of the taste and how it would feel to pour that down my throat. Because the thing is, I don't usually sip drinks to enjoy. I'm after the rush. It took a lot of willpower and visualization of the aftermath. Each day you will get stronger.
I read this before I went and your point about visualising the aftermath (thinner wallet, poor physical and mental health) in the chase of the rush. And while I was with my colleagues, it was so hard to watch them drink while I was just sitting there with my water. I just kept thinking about the pertinent points you made about thinking in the long-run, not being a prisoner to the fleeting high. And it worked.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted by Midwest1981
welcome catlover!
I hope you join the Feb. 2017 thread. The support you get from it will be amazing!
I quit drinking 8 months ago and I have only been using this site and learning from the people here. Of course the more things you do the better that is just what has worked for me so it is possible!
I hope you join the Feb. 2017 thread. The support you get from it will be amazing!
I quit drinking 8 months ago and I have only been using this site and learning from the people here.
Of course the more things you do the better that is just what has worked for me so it is possible!I take inspiration in that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Catlover, reading your posts you have openness and honesty that will help you succeed. Recovery is possible for all but it takes work, willingness to change and action to change. Get a copy of the alcoholics anonymous book and read the first 164 pages. You'll get some insight to different types of alcoholics and a solution. Recovery is not just being sober but being sober and happy. Good luck Catlover and keep coming back. You're always welcome here to post even if you slip a million times (hopefully never).
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Done4today
Welcome Catlover, reading your posts you have openness and honesty that will help you succeed. Recovery is possible for all but it takes work, willingness to change and action to change. Get a copy of the alcoholics anonymous book and read the first 164 pages. You'll get some insight to different types of alcoholics and a solution. Recovery is not just being sober but being sober and happy. Good luck Catlover and keep coming back. You're always welcome here to post even if you slip a million times (hopefully never).
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Glad you found this site. It seems you have a grasp on the issue and can't deny the family history. You see the problem and want to stop. This is the biggest hurdle. For folks like us, we have to understand first and foremost we are not going to learn to drink "properly". It is not a situation that causes issues with drinking, but the drink consumed in the first place causes the issue.
AA, treatment, etc. are not the only ways to quit drinking. Matter of fact you quit at least once a day when you close your eyes for sleep. It is starting back that is the issue. For me, I just do "something else". I find exercise and a good diet two of the most useful/necessary things for me. After that, I find positive and rewarding things to do. As a journalist, you are likely exposed to a lot of negative things, but also a lot of positive things with which to involve yourself. Life has a lot to offer and alcohol limited me severely. Coming here and sharing your experience is a great outlet. Help yourself live a better life. You already know what drinking has to offer. Involve yourself in and embrace life and don't take the action to drink. Breaking loose of prior social activities is difficult, but in time after involving yourself in other things, the previous activities will see somewhat a bore at the least and ridiculous at best. Put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
AA, treatment, etc. are not the only ways to quit drinking. Matter of fact you quit at least once a day when you close your eyes for sleep. It is starting back that is the issue. For me, I just do "something else". I find exercise and a good diet two of the most useful/necessary things for me. After that, I find positive and rewarding things to do. As a journalist, you are likely exposed to a lot of negative things, but also a lot of positive things with which to involve yourself. Life has a lot to offer and alcohol limited me severely. Coming here and sharing your experience is a great outlet. Help yourself live a better life. You already know what drinking has to offer. Involve yourself in and embrace life and don't take the action to drink. Breaking loose of prior social activities is difficult, but in time after involving yourself in other things, the previous activities will see somewhat a bore at the least and ridiculous at best. Put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by totfit
Glad you found this site. It seems you have a grasp on the issue and can't deny the family history. You see the problem and want to stop. This is the biggest hurdle. For folks like us, we have to understand first and foremost we are not going to learn to drink "properly". It is not a situation that causes issues with drinking, but the drink consumed in the first place causes the issue.
AA, treatment, etc. are not the only ways to quit drinking. Matter of fact you quit at least once a day when you close your eyes for sleep. It is starting back that is the issue. For me, I just do "something else". I find exercise and a good diet two of the most useful/necessary things for me. After that, I find positive and rewarding things to do. As a journalist, you are likely exposed to a lot of negative things, but also a lot of positive things with which to involve yourself. Life has a lot to offer and alcohol limited me severely. Coming here and sharing your experience is a great outlet. Help yourself live a better life. You already know what drinking has to offer. Involve yourself in and embrace life and don't take the action to drink. Breaking loose of prior social activities is difficult, but in time after involving yourself in other things, the previous activities will see somewhat a bore at the least and ridiculous at best. Put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
AA, treatment, etc. are not the only ways to quit drinking. Matter of fact you quit at least once a day when you close your eyes for sleep. It is starting back that is the issue. For me, I just do "something else". I find exercise and a good diet two of the most useful/necessary things for me. After that, I find positive and rewarding things to do. As a journalist, you are likely exposed to a lot of negative things, but also a lot of positive things with which to involve yourself. Life has a lot to offer and alcohol limited me severely. Coming here and sharing your experience is a great outlet. Help yourself live a better life. You already know what drinking has to offer. Involve yourself in and embrace life and don't take the action to drink. Breaking loose of prior social activities is difficult, but in time after involving yourself in other things, the previous activities will see somewhat a bore at the least and ridiculous at best. Put one foot in front of the other and carry on.
Yes, you're certainly right about coming to terms with alcoholics "not being able to drink properly." I mentioned before that I used to be able to have one drink in six months and it never bothered me. But I can't be like that anymore.
Regarding my job - I find that when I'm exposed to negative stories, my drinking increases. I actually switched job titles - my initial posting had me covering way too many negative stories (murders, etc) and I got to a point I couldn't take it anymore.
As you and others have mentioned - I definitely need to find some new activities that will lessen the huge ache that is temptation.
Thanks again
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,588
I'm glad you joined February Class catlover. I'm in November 2016, whimsically known as the "Nobenders". It is very comforting to know that I am surrounded by others who understand as no others could, and really hope you stick around. It's a learning curve catlover and we are all learning. Good show on not drinking during lunch. I mean it is lunch for goodness sake.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 110
Hi catlover1989, you are so amazing to recognize this now...after only a couple of years and still in your 20's! Right there you already have an advantage over those of us who have been stuck in the addiction cycle for 10, 15, 20, 30 years!
I want to offer another little tip of something that has helped me a lot. I actually thought of it because of something Cassandralee said.
Sometime when I have a strong urge to drink things like playing the tape forward, picturing the aftermath, remembering how I will feel in the morning, urge surfing and other things still don't stop the urge.
When that happens, I grab a cold sparkling water and chug it. It sounds funny, but it really helps with the craving...just having the feel of the bubbles and maybe even the chugging of it helps me feel better and there's no collateral damage.
I hope you can make it to Day 2 and Day 3 and you'll be amazed at how you feel better so quickly and how you feel when you wake up sober! There is never a morning that I wake up sober wishing I would have drank the day/night before!
I want to offer another little tip of something that has helped me a lot. I actually thought of it because of something Cassandralee said.
Sometime when I have a strong urge to drink things like playing the tape forward, picturing the aftermath, remembering how I will feel in the morning, urge surfing and other things still don't stop the urge.
When that happens, I grab a cold sparkling water and chug it. It sounds funny, but it really helps with the craving...just having the feel of the bubbles and maybe even the chugging of it helps me feel better and there's no collateral damage.
I hope you can make it to Day 2 and Day 3 and you'll be amazed at how you feel better so quickly and how you feel when you wake up sober! There is never a morning that I wake up sober wishing I would have drank the day/night before!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by catlover1989
You have no idea just how much this post actually helped me today. Just like right now. I have just come back from lunch with my co-workers, but I didn't drink. I just had a meal and some water, while they drank their beer, cider and liquor. Like I said my workplace is filled with alcoholics - however, I'm known as one of the premier boozers among the lot. And they couldn't believe I wasn't drinking. They asked what was wrong and I said nothing. They think I'm physically sick, that's why I'm not drinking.
I read this before I went and your point about visualising the aftermath (thinner wallet, poor physical and mental health) in the chase of the rush. And while I was with my colleagues, it was so hard to watch them drink while I was just sitting there with my water. I just kept thinking about the pertinent points you made about thinking in the long-run, not being a prisoner to the fleeting high. And it worked.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
I read this before I went and your point about visualising the aftermath (thinner wallet, poor physical and mental health) in the chase of the rush. And while I was with my colleagues, it was so hard to watch them drink while I was just sitting there with my water. I just kept thinking about the pertinent points you made about thinking in the long-run, not being a prisoner to the fleeting high. And it worked.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Well done on getting through the lunch without having a drink. I know how hard it is and how you felt watching them drink while you had water. I still feel like a 'fish out of water' when I'm out with drinking friends. But I keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.
I'm starting to find that I actually have a social side to my personality when I'm sober. It's not the same as my party girl mode, but a more mature version who can also be silly and fun and sober.
I've got a Friday work lunch on today. This is all about food and alcohol. Like you, I'll be sipping on my sparkling water and just taking it all in. And I know when I get home tonight, I will feel stronger and proud that I made it through another challenging lunch. It does get easier each week. My workmates still can't believe I'm not drinking. I've been labelled at work, as one of the big drinkers and I've certainly entertained them, many times, with my drunkenness. I'm happy to move out of that role.
Do you have a plan for the weekend and how you will avoid triggers?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Alcoholics Anonymous South Africa Meetings
It may be worth contacting the central office. They might have someone they could out you in touch with. Never know, you and they might be the start of the Malawi branch of AA!!
It may be worth contacting the central office. They might have someone they could out you in touch with. Never know, you and they might be the start of the Malawi branch of AA!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
So catlover...isn't this SR community the best thing ever? I am less than a month sober, and these people are my rock. I feel your sense of isolation. Stay here, keep posting, and use this community to get your leg up into sobriety. Best to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Hello all
I managed to make it through last night without drinking. So I'm on Day 2 now. But man, it was so hard. When I got home, there was no electricity. So my plan of making a meal was squashed - plus I was unable to work on the computer (which helps me have distractions). My life pretty much stops moving when we have electricity blackouts - and that's when going to a bar and getting lit up is the most tempting.
I fought it so hard yesterday though. I read a novel in the candlelight and chilled with my cat and her kittens. I got home around 6pm and the electricity came back on around 11pm. I was too tired to cook at that time, so just made a sandwich and went to sleep.
Day 1 is done. Day 2 now
I managed to make it through last night without drinking. So I'm on Day 2 now. But man, it was so hard. When I got home, there was no electricity. So my plan of making a meal was squashed - plus I was unable to work on the computer (which helps me have distractions). My life pretty much stops moving when we have electricity blackouts - and that's when going to a bar and getting lit up is the most tempting.
I fought it so hard yesterday though. I read a novel in the candlelight and chilled with my cat and her kittens. I got home around 6pm and the electricity came back on around 11pm. I was too tired to cook at that time, so just made a sandwich and went to sleep.
Day 1 is done. Day 2 now
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by FreedomHorse
Hi catlover1989, you are so amazing to recognize this now...after only a couple of years and still in your 20's! Right there you already have an advantage over those of us who have been stuck in the addiction cycle for 10, 15, 20, 30 years!
I want to offer another little tip of something that has helped me a lot. I actually thought of it because of something Cassandralee said.
Sometime when I have a strong urge to drink things like playing the tape forward, picturing the aftermath, remembering how I will feel in the morning, urge surfing and other things still don't stop the urge.
When that happens, I grab a cold sparkling water and chug it. It sounds funny, but it really helps with the craving...just having the feel of the bubbles and maybe even the chugging of it helps me feel better and there's no collateral damage.
I hope you can make it to Day 2 and Day 3 and you'll be amazed at how you feel better so quickly and how you feel when you wake up sober! There is never a morning that I wake up sober wishing I would have drank the day/night before!
I want to offer another little tip of something that has helped me a lot. I actually thought of it because of something Cassandralee said.
Sometime when I have a strong urge to drink things like playing the tape forward, picturing the aftermath, remembering how I will feel in the morning, urge surfing and other things still don't stop the urge.
When that happens, I grab a cold sparkling water and chug it. It sounds funny, but it really helps with the craving...just having the feel of the bubbles and maybe even the chugging of it helps me feel better and there's no collateral damage.
I hope you can make it to Day 2 and Day 3 and you'll be amazed at how you feel better so quickly and how you feel when you wake up sober! There is never a morning that I wake up sober wishing I would have drank the day/night before!
Thank you for commenting. You are so right about how lovely it is to wake up without a hangover. I felt so good this morning. So true. Regarding the sparkling water - it's kind of ironic, cause when I have a hangover, I use the drink "Sprite." I find that it really helps all the negative effects of a hangover a lot. Yesterday after work I had no electricity at home (idiotic power company can't consistently keep the lights on) and the craving was extremely terrible. I popped open a bottle of Sprite and it did help alleviate the tension. Like you say with the sparkled water, the bubbles and acidity is capable of placating the urge.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Cassandralee
Hi catlover, you're welcome!
Well done on getting through the lunch without having a drink. I know how hard it is and how you felt watching them drink while you had water. I still feel like a 'fish out of water' when I'm out with drinking friends. But I keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.
I'm starting to find that I actually have a social side to my personality when I'm sober. It's not the same as my party girl mode, but a more mature version who can also be silly and fun and sober.
I've got a Friday work lunch on today. This is all about food and alcohol. Like you, I'll be sipping on my sparkling water and just taking it all in. And I know when I get home tonight, I will feel stronger and proud that I made it through another challenging lunch. It does get easier each week. My workmates still can't believe I'm not drinking. I've been labelled at work, as one of the big drinkers and I've certainly entertained them, many times, with my drunkenness. I'm happy to move out of that role.
Do you have a plan for the weekend and how you will avoid triggers?
Well done on getting through the lunch without having a drink. I know how hard it is and how you felt watching them drink while you had water. I still feel like a 'fish out of water' when I'm out with drinking friends. But I keep reminding myself why I'm doing this.
I'm starting to find that I actually have a social side to my personality when I'm sober. It's not the same as my party girl mode, but a more mature version who can also be silly and fun and sober.
I've got a Friday work lunch on today. This is all about food and alcohol. Like you, I'll be sipping on my sparkling water and just taking it all in. And I know when I get home tonight, I will feel stronger and proud that I made it through another challenging lunch. It does get easier each week. My workmates still can't believe I'm not drinking. I've been labelled at work, as one of the big drinkers and I've certainly entertained them, many times, with my drunkenness. I'm happy to move out of that role.
Do you have a plan for the weekend and how you will avoid triggers?
I'm glad that you can still have the fun and silly side without booze. When you think about it, booze is all an illusion. When we emerged from our mothers' wombs, we didn't drink. And through the early years, we didn't either, but yet among us are some of the most funny and charismatic people. But after the disease of alcoholism hit us, we've forgotten who we essentially are. I find it sad. And it makes me happy that you've realized you can be the fun and charismatic person without booze. That's not easy at all.
As for having a plan avoiding triggers throughout the weekend - yes, I'm going to be a teacher
. On Saturday I'm going to teach extracurricular English to underprivileged children, and on Sunday going to teach those same kids the fundamentals of basketball (I'm a basketball nerd). A childhood friend's mom is the headmistress at the primary school the kids attend and she's been wanting some extra help for a while, especially with the English classes. Because of my commitment to booze, I never got round to doing it. The nights of the coming weekend are going to be difficult, but I'll attempt to find something to do. Maybe a little writing or editing some footage. We'll see.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by BixBees505
So catlover...isn't this SR community the best thing ever? I am less than a month sober, and these people are my rock. I feel your sense of isolation. Stay here, keep posting, and use this community to get your leg up into sobriety. Best to you.
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