Raininconfusion

I run a daycare 12 hours a day in my home. It is very stressful and my days are LONG. I also am a single mom of 3 teenagers and have multiple chronic illnesses. My life is nothing but stress most of the time. Alot of my friends joke that they drink everyday and last year one of them gave me a bottle of wine as a gift. I started drinking wine daily and it helped me relax. It seemed harmless , but now I think I have a problem. I've been drinking every night for a year. Started with a couple glasses, then more recently I'll drink almost 1.5L bottle of cabernet every night. Usually there ia abiut 1/4 bottle left the next day . It's really affected my weight , so I decided I'd go on a diet and quit drinking.

Last week, around 6pm (my normal drinking time) I started to feel my muscles tensing up .. and craving a drink. and I thought well it's just out of habit that I want to drink so I ignored it.
A few hours later I felt so tense and irritable. I couldn't sit still, like I wanted to pull my hair out. I can't really find the words to describe the feeling other than overwhelming physical feeling of aggravation and tension.

I decided to have one glass of wine. I immediately felt better after I finished the glass . So I stopped , and after an hour or so , the bad feeling came back.

I've since started getting that feeling around 5 pm , and now even earlier , around 4 . I've also been going to bed a few hours earlier and I always go to sleep drunk. But I'm thinking the alcohol is out of my system earlier, because I stopped drinking earlier and went to bed. It makes sense because it's about an hour or 2 earlier every night , then I start craving a drink and hour or so earlier the next evening.

I didn't realize it was a problem until I tried to quit .

How much do you think is psychological as opposed to physical? I'm afraid of water will happen if I push through the onset of these bad feelings. I'm afraid it will get worse.
Thanks for any advice.

entropy1964

Well you haven't been drinking that long, but you're drinking a fare amount. It definitely sounds like physical withdrawal....and if you're like me its very psychological as well. But its the physical stuff that can be dangerous.

There's a solution. Talk to your dr. Tell the truth and that you're trying to quit (I think that's what you're trying to do). You can get help with a medical detox.

Then ya gotta figure out how to deal with your life sober. The stress etc. There's lots of good advice here.

PhoenixJ

I agree, talk to your doctor. Keep posting. PJ

Raininconfusion

It's overwhelming today .. For the past hour I've been just flat out angry everytime I hear people talking or kids gibberish. I'm just sitting here praying that the parents hurry up and get here. My nerves are a wreck. Also something new today, I just started to get near ups and literally gagging like I'm gonna be sick. And suddenly got so hot that I had to stand in front of the freezer. It seems like it's Gonna be impossible to get through the first few hours of quitting.

Would it be ok if I ATTEMPT to cut back gradually? Maybe over a few weeks, then down to nothing? I wonder of that ever works. ..

Grymt

I don't think so.

I think you should go see a doc and get that out of the way. Otherwise, when it passes and you have not pushed it back in by drinking you start to learn to trust the process.

Raininconfusion

What usually happens when you first see a doctor? Do GPs give meds or do they typically send you to inpatient. I'm sorry for all the questions I just know I can't afford inpatient detox right now

Grymt

There is always a recommendation to see a doctor. It's just to see if there are underlying physical problems. I'm not saying there are or are not. Personally I've found that if I have an acute anxiety attack it passes and if I have not used alcohol to suppress it I'm better off in many ways. It becomes manageable. Sometimes getting well is expelling toxins. It's part of healing. Faith and learning to trust the process.

Raininconfusion

Sorry, autocorrect. That's supposed to say " nasueous " as opposed to " near ups" ��

Anna

Detoxing from alcohol can be unpredictable, which is why we recommend talking to a dr. If he gives you the okay, then you should be fine. Cutting back is something almost everyone here has tried and failed at. It's not impossible, but it's a lot more painful that just stopping.

I'm glad you recognize that you need to change your life. We do understand how hard this is.

Algorithm

It will get better, but you need to abstain for a little bit longer than just one day. You can think of acute withdrawal as similar to recovering from a bad case of the flu. It gets worse before it gets better, but it ends in about a week.

One of the things that took me too long to get a handle on was the fact that with alcohol, you need not drink all day to feel withdrawal when you stop, as you might with cigarettes.

You don't need to understand all the nuances of alcohol addiction in order to quit drinking, but if you do want to understand the progression of dependence, you may want to get yourself a copy of the following inexpensive book:

Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by James Milam

Once again, though, you don't need to know the "why" of physiology to quit drinking. Whatever you do, don't let this continue, because it will definitely get worse.

Listen to your gut feeling that this is going nowhere good, and trust that your body will heal if you quit, the same as it would with cigarettes. It simply takes a little bit longer, but the discomfort is your body healing.

Regarding doctors and inpatient referrals, some doctors will give you a detox script to take home, which usually lasts for about four days. You can ask about this option, and you can also taper down. Many will say tapering can't be done, but some hospitals in the UK have guidelines for doing just that, and you can find them online if you search.

I don't know what kind of licensing requirements you have for running a daycare, but I can't imagine that the government would like the idea of an alcohol addict running one. Probably best to take care of this problem sooner rather than later, no?

Dee74

Hi and welcome

No Dr is going to ship you off to inpatient rehab without your consent, so you can stop worrying about that.

For me trying to cut back was futile - once I had that first glass my good intentions disappeared.

Withdrawal is rough and I think that applies whether you go cold turkey or you're trying tapering.

It's not a great ride for a week or so - but it's not impossible to get though and when you get through it you'll be relieved

You'll also find 24/7 support here - you're not alone

D

Pondlady

It's good you realize you have a problem and want to stop. For the sake of the young children in your care, I hope you're able to detox and not be angry at them...they're just being children.

Raininconfusion

Thank you for all your suggestions and support. I will read through this forum tonight and just take it easy. This is the same exact feeling , although stronger and much worse than when I quit smoking. And that was brutal..

I also gotta figure out why I hate being sober.. I recently realized that was true .

Hevyn

Hi Raininconfusion. I'm so glad you came here for encouragement. I always thought drinking was helping me cope - but in the end it just made everything unmanageable. I relied on it way too much - and ended up drinking all day. I never thought that could happen to me. It's good you're getting it under control now. We're here to help.