chuchurum

I am really embarrassed to have this problem. But I can't stop it on my own, and I feel so terrible when I try. It's Tuesday morning after a full day of work, and work stressed me out so badly, I resorted to booze. I feel terrible that drinking alcohol made me feel better. On weekends, I can drink so much more. I just want to forget everything. I have great people in my life, I shouldn't feel this way.

Tonight I will fall asleep eventually, and wake up in time to go to my job tomorrow. But I will feel like ****, and regret it for all of my waking moments. "Why did I do this to myself again...?" Because I felt like I couldn't breathe, and this helped me fall asleep". I will feel like I'm dying for the moments I'm sober, and it's getting worse and worse as time goes on.

Any advice on how to proceed? Thanks, any words of advice are greatly appreciated

PhoenixJ

chuch- welcome. For a start, perhaps join the 'Class of Feb, 2017' thread. See a doctor to get a baseline of your health. Make a PLAN on how you tackle this. Anxiety and addictive behaviours cannot be wished away. Get daily support- a therapist, AA meetings, SMART meetings (I do both). There is heaps of info in the 'sticky' section. Read around the threads. Keep posting. Do not drink. PJ

entropy1964

Get help. Schedule an apt with your dr and tell him/her the full truth of your drinking. Ask about medically supervised detox. Or you can go to the ER and get help.

ScottFromWI

Welcome churchurum and good for you to write this down and seek help. You've already started in case you haven't noticed by coming here. How do you proceed? First you admit/accept/acknowledge that alcohol is a problem for you and make the choice to stop. Then you seek help via many of the possible methods you will read about here. Some folks choose a very structured sobriety program like AA. Some choose faith. Some see their doctor for advice. Others use a forum like SR or self paced methods like AVRT. There are many and they are different, but any will work if you decide to put your full effort into it.

Incontrol15

Welcome. And oh boy... You are echoing my thoughts when I posted day 1 here. With the exception of work since I wouldn't bother waiting till work was done before drinking :/ every day, I'd go to work thinking I'd be sober till I got home, only to buy a bottle of 40proof Vodka in a gas station to mix with red bull.

Your angst... Your stress... Your depression... All of it is brought on by alcohol. That's it's survival technique. Make you forget how screwed up you feel while drunk, then ramp up depression and anxiety when sober. 10 fold.

When I quit, my anxiety was gone within a week. Gone. And I was an all day drunk that had to drink in the middle of the night to keep panic attacks at bay.

My depression lifted shortly after. By day 10, I knew I was doing to right thing and never looked back.

Those feelings you have in regards to your drinking are all self destructive and potentiate the need to drink and drown the misery.

I would highly suggest therapy along with SMART recovery. SMART follows psychological practices and helps put your mind in the right place to not only quit, but to stay quit. If you can't do therapy, at least go to SMART.

Their website is also very helpful. Everything is available for you there, complete with forums and online meetings.

I also suggest checking out the online meetings here on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Hit up a couple AA meetings. It wasn't for me, but it's obviously helped a ton of people.

Bottom line, go all in. Give it everything you got. No half-ass approach. You want to kill it and kill it good. By trying EVERYTHING, you'll learn much more and will see what works best for you.

To Do list:
Post in Feb2017
Schedule Dr appt
Schedule therapist
Go to couple AA meetings
Go to SMART recovery. Com
Go to a SMART meeting

Take no prisoners.

Nonsensical

This will continue to be the case for as long as you drink. The only way to break the cycle is to break the cycle.

You might feel like you need alcohol to breathe or to sleep, but it's not true. It's a lie the addiction concocts to get what it wants - more alcohol.

Of all the things that come with being an alcohol addict, the realization that I couldn't trust what my own brain was telling me was by far the toughest to deal with.

Welcome to the fight of your life.
Make a plan.
Work the plan.
You can do this.

D122y

Chuch,

Welcome.

Consider this..

I knew drinking was the problem...maybe you do as well.

I didn't see a dr. I quit drinking.

I went through withdrawals, detox, paranoia, etc etc.

It got better. I came here every day.

I knew....from here...that once i went to the dr., i would be given rx. Drugs and labeled an alcoholic.

My life would change forever. I got clean on my own.

It sucked for a while. Now i am hardended.

Alcohol is a toxin. Drinking it is a learned behavior.

We got addicted. There is no mystery.

You may have additional underlying mental issues as well, but until you get nice and clean you will not get a chance to deal w them med free.

Thanks.

Dee74

Hi and welcome chuchurum

Posting here is a good start - you'll find a lot of support here.

The great problem with bung addicted and wanting to get clean is you feel awful when you don't have your drug of choice in your system.

For long term redukar drinkers, I recommend folks see their Dr - be honest with them about your problem.

They may be able to help with withdrawal if you're anxious about that.

But - there's no way around withdrawal being unpleasant. But it is temporary and you can get through to the other side and feel good again.

Support helps too, and like I said that abounds here.
You're not alone

D