Kcey

Here's what I find strange about how devious the mind actually is- I packed in the ciggies 7 years ago. The last however many years not even a thought of them earlier today I seen someone light up a fag and I thought oooh I could treat myself to one of them haha ha !! If I had one I would have 10 in no time by the time I'd have 10 I'd be having a glass of red wine to go with it - congratulating myself on my classy and sophisticated tastes - that's my devious mind and I've beaten it I'm definitely not smoking again like EVER

ljc267

off topic, but did you just call a cigarette a fag? I've never heard that before, lol.

Melissa1217

That's what they're called in England

ljc267

Thanks, didn't know that. The word has a whole different connotation in the US.

Kcey

Good morning woke up with a terrible head and neck ache on my 7th day I could be coming down with a cold or it could be my body accepting it's not getting any booze I'm not sure. Had some breakfast and don't feel too bad, I'm still in a good headspace and feel positive.
Watching the news ang sending prayers for California

Dee74

Hope you feel better as the day rolls on Kcey

D

Kcey

Hi guys how are you doing, feel better now I've cleaned the house top to bottom and have washed everything in sight.
Going to have some food then make a plan for next week - going for a hike tomorrow after breakfast so I need to do it today.
Get me on a Saturday night.
Anybody got any good plans for the rest of the weekend

soberandhonest

Hi Kcey. I'm happy to hear that you are feeling better and it sounds like you have a nice healthy plan for the weekend. The hike sounds great. It appears to me like you are really dedicated to your recovery, which is absolutely fantastic and very inspiring to all of us! Excellent job so far. Keep it up!

My Saturday morning is just beginning. I should probably get started by cleaning my house. Sigh. No big plans for the weekend but lots of little projects to get done that will keep me very busy.

Kcey

Thanks for the support I haven't had any wobbles today so I'm happy with that for today.
Hope you enjoy your Saturday too

Kcey

Ok done a plan for the next 7 days with 2 days extra if I need to change anything- my mum's just texted she is dropping in to see me this evening- could really do without it to be honest- I didn't plan for this one - may feign sickness- she's not so bad just tiers me out and very loud.

Kcey

Hi my mum has been here for a few hours - I'm shattered going to bed now

Quit290117

Well done Kcey on 7 days, keep up the good work.

Dee74

way to go on a week kcey

D

Mattq2

Really proud of you kcey!!!! Keep it going

Kcey

Thanks guys I have been out walking for nearly 5 hours/ think I overdid it a wee bit but enjoying the fresh air, it was unusually warm today we even took our coats off for a while. I will sleep tonight anyway
Hope you are all safe and well and enjoying the last of the weekend

soberandhonest

Great job Kcey! Congrats on a week!

Kcey

I'm just trying to relax and I keep having really bad anxiety attacks I'm not actually craving a drink I'm ok there but I just keep getting a knot in the pit of my stomach and I feel scared and tearry. I am sad for the last couple of years, it feels a bit like grief. I don't know what else to say, I think I just need to tell someone and get it off my chest.
I'm only using an iPhone so it's hard to type I think I need to invest in a laptop

Dee74

Anxiety is pretty normal early on kcey - if you weren't anxious before you started drinking, it should get better as the weeks clock up.

If you have had it before, what have you done about it before?

D

WenRiver

Kcey, you are so awesome!!! Congratulations on your first week and for finding healthy alternatives -- feels SO GOOD to get fresh air, doesn't it?!

In 2015, I was sober for several months and in the beginning, I was exhausted all the time. I also fell ill and was extremely emotional. My anxiety was high and I was easily prone to tears. I have my own analysis of this which is experiential NOT medical. I believe my body needed rest to recuperate from the years of ignoring its need for rest, hence the sleepiness. I also believe I fell ill because my body was ridding itself of toxins. And the emotionality? Well, I was finally feeling things for real instead of through the filter of alcohol. All of my senses were heightened. It is an unknown, exhilarating adventure, this getting sober thing, so I had anxiety.

This time, I was in a very scary place, escaping an abusive relationship and my sobriety was an organic extension of that. Because of the freedom I feel from that relationship, my experience this time has been different, so while I am tired, dehydrated, and anxious, I am also free free free from the abuse of narcissism and from alcohol (!), so whatever I am experiencing is through the euphoric lens of release from prison. However, I do feel grief. I attribute that to having had a relationship with alcohol for over 20 years. Alcohol was my best friend, my worst enemy, and everything in between. Just like any other relationship, there is grief and loss.

I admire your self-awareness and perseverance. You seem to be doing a good job of getting out and being active and giving yourself space to be reflective and grieving. We are here anytime you need to get anything off your chest. Please keep us posted and keep on going with your bad self!

By the way, I couldn't get your midget gems out of my head so I went and ordered my favourite: black licorice salt water taffy. MMMmmmmm!

Kcey

Thanks Wenriver, what you went through 2015 is what I think I'm going through now tbh, but for the last 6 months I've been building up to this, so I have to get through all these negative emotions - I now only have people I love and trust in my life who I would do anything for, remarkably none of these are alcoholics although 1 good friend has an alcoholic husband.
I spent months planning to stop drinking, every Saturday was going to be my last, for a long time, then last Saturday it was- I don't know what was different but it just worked- I typed into my phone "what happens if I don't drink today" and this website came up and I've never used social media but I'm glad I did.
I still feel achy and headachey and a little bit sick but I do feel like I will get over this and move forward.
I am so glad your out of an abusive relationship, a narcissist is the ugliest of people once you see through them, you should be so proud of yourself. Your worth so much more and you will be a much stronger person than you could ever know.
As for the m gems there are lots of brands here but only one that still has a licorice one - so there the only one that matter.
Wishing you joy today