MidnightBlue

Really took it easy today.

Did some work.

Skipped the gym to avoid comparing myself to everyone around and inevitably making a conclusion that I am the most unworthy being of all the people present.

Spent the evening doing nothing. I just need it right now.

Going to call it an early night.

See you)

MidnightBlue

Hi, Gilmer)

We must be posting at the same time.

Doing better for now. Partially because I am exhausted today after half-sleepless night due to anxiety, and I am too tired to beat myself up.

Sometimes I think that I set myself up for energy-sucking situations so that my own thoughts can't hurt me.

Thank you for checking on me)

saoutchik

Hang in there MidnightBlue.

MidnightBlue

I got paid yesterday!!!!

I redeemed my gold from the pawn shop today.

And going to order a fridge. I've already looked up some small fridges online. I turned down the idea of buying a second-hand fridge because I will have to pay someone to deliver it anyway, and money gain will not be that much.

You know, whoever said that money can't buy happiness was probably born rich.

It depends on what a person means by happiness, and it's an eternal topic to debate on.

But money can buy sanity and freedom. That's for sure.

Stay sober, folks. Game-changer.

Gilmer

Congratulations, MB!

Chilledice

Money certainly helps that's for darn sure lol

So glad things are working out for you......ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel even if we can't see it :-)

saoutchik

So pleased MB!

MidnightBlue

Thank you, guys)

MidnightBlue

Hi, SR friends.

I am facing another sanity-testing phase of my life.

I've been just reading the last couple of posts on this thread - wow! I lived without a fridge and pawned my gold to buy food.

Wow.

This time the issue which is slowly driving me crazy is not so obvious. And, in some way, it makes it harder to wrap my logic around it and make a right decision.

I am gathering my thoughts now to write a coherent representation of my existential problem.

But, ironically, again, like it was almost a year ago, it involves a business trip to a seaside resort place and my boss.

Talk to you soon.

Thanks for reading)

trachemys

Hey Mblue

My grandparents lived without a refrigerator for decades. Not a life necessity.

Gold is a bank account.

Existentialism is a crock. YOU are HERE. You exist.

When you're at the gym, punching the body bag, do you doubt your existence? Or, are you sure in your existence? I think you, in that moment, are so sure of your place that no one can take it from you.

MidnightBlue

Thank you, Trach.

And here's the issue: I know I exist. I am just not sure I am living.

Somewhere on the way I lost connection to the vibes which make my heart sing.

trachemys

We all do. That's when it's most important that we affirm our lives.