Luchogarza

So I have another question that bugs me

I hear this "one day at a time" expression a lot. In my mind that makes sense if one is an everyday drinker or close to it. What is a good strategy for those of us that drink every other week but blackout all the time? I am 99.5% sure I won't be drinking between Sunday and Wednesday, so it is harder to remain alert and strong in my commitment.

Maybe I'm not explaining myself well. My drinking pattern is tricky because unless it is a night I will blackout, I don't even think about alcohol. It is so hard to keep my guard up.

ScottFromWI

I think you could probably still use the same strategy. The idea behind "one day at a time" is to just worry about today and not drinking today. And do it every day.

One day at a time in itself is not a recovery method though...it's just an idea. I think most people find it helpful early in sobriety and as a counter point to "never drinking again". That can be pretty tough to stomach at first.

thomas11

Hi Luch, I had the same drinking pattern as it sounds like you have. I had no problem not drinking Sunday-Wednesday/Thursday, and yes that was easy, but when Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon rolled around, it was tough not stopping by the liquor store because I was accustomed to drinking on "my drinking days". Those are the days that the one day at a time method will come in handy.

NewRomanMan

One day at a time is also used to speak to mindfulness. Staying in the present moment. Not spending our time regretting the past or worrying about the future. It's a good way to lighten our load when we're tempted to borrow worry over what has already been or what doesn't yet exist.

doggonecarl

Try this expression:

"I will never drink again. And I will never change my mind."

That should cover it.

MIRecovery

Almost without exception every alcoholic feels that they are special. That their experience is somehow unique. You don't have to be around AA for very long before you find out you are just a plain old drunk like the rest of us no better no worse and a day at a time we stay sober

tomsteve

one day at a time isn't necessarily about not drinking.
its take each day as it comes-to deal with things as they happen, and not to make plans or to worry about the future.

live in today

Anna

I think that the philosophy of living in the moment, one day at a time, is the best way to approach all aspects of our lives. All we have is the moment.

You said it's hard to keep your guard up because you don't drink daily. For me, making the decision that drinking was no longer an option, ever, made it work for me. It will shift your thinking.

Berrybean

Yes, it's more about how we deal with life than just staying sober specifically. Sure, we aim to stay sober for just one day at a time. Thinking about staying sober for the rest of our lives is often just too much to process at first, and is likely to induce anxiety (if not full-blown hysteria). But what I didn't realise when I was still drinking was that I spent my life see-saw ing between mentally raking over the past (be it yesterday, last year, or early childhood ) and being the premonition or doom, or queen of wishful thinking about the future. Ut was a rare moment that I was just present. Experiencing that very very moment. Taking in what I could see, Hear, feel, taste or whatever. I never treated my brain to just a day worrying about what I could deal with right now. I foisted my past, present and future on it altogether. And then wondered why I was anxious, depressed, and exhausted. Why I felt hopeless and unable to cope.

Recovery isn't just about a dressing the alcoholic drinking. It's about altering our perspective so that we're not acting out on our old alcoholic thinking as well.

When we look at the 12 steps we can see that only the very first one even mentions drinking. The rest are about Living Sober. And that's what we can learn by working the 12-step program of AA, or (I presume) any other program of recovery.

january161992

milly4me

I can relate to your drinking pattern and still find the "one day at a time" mantra helpful. I don't need it everyday...but when cravings hit ...when those weekends /events hit...and I start thinking "maybe just one"...I think, "You know not today. I'm gonna take this one day at a time. So today, I won't be drinking". And I may not think of drinking again for a week or so...

Mentium

There seem to be a number of interpretations of this phrase!..which is fine.

I always thought of it as a way of helping the addicted mind avoid the 'panic' involved in the idea of 'I will never drink again'. If you take it a day at a time it doesn't sound quite so final and potentially scary to those of us used to the crutch of alcohol.

I don't personally find the term that helpful. I think more in terms of 'one week at a time'!

There are lots of sayings and homilies in AA. Some of them contain a huge amount of wisdom and experience. One I like is 'take what you need (from the program) and leave the rest'.

columbus

One day at a time always sounded so limiting to me.

Then, sober, I began to realize how big a day actually is.

Basically, it expands (for me) into the immensity of the eternal Now.

AlaskaGirl

One day at a time was very difficult for me because in my mind it left the door open for future drinking.

It wasn’t until I accepted that I would never drink again, and never change my mind, that the anxiety about drinking left me. The addiction was still present (my beast), but I am separate from my addiction and I make my own rules.

It took me several years to get to this place. I tried to moderate, with really terrible results. I put a pause on my drinking for a little over a month in January of 2016. After that I started drinking socially again, which turned into binges. I couldn’t drink without blacking out. Once I had one, my addiction demanded them all. I would go a week, sometimes two without drinking throughout the year, but when it was on it was on and I was a mess.

I quit on New Year’s Day this year, 40 days in and I feel a sense of peace I have never had before because I KNOW I’m done.

Let me ask you a question… what is your plan for future drinking? Because it is YOUR CHOICE. Not your addictions. AVRT made all the difference for me. There is a lot of information about it in the Secular Connections Forum if you want to check it out.

Unwound

I think particularly early on when you have been used to a cycle of abuse staying clean for a week or month let alone the rest have of your life can seem like a huge mountain to climb. But getting through one day is something everyone can manage snd seems much more attainable particularly germ your going through the clutch of a bad withdrawal, " it gets better in a couple of months" isn't what you want to hear, "one day at a time ", "yep I can do that.".

Grymt

I have failed often enough and I have seen enough others fail irrespective of how long sober, no matter how strong one might seem to know that I am only sober one day at a time. I'm not drinking today. Every day. One day at a time. One minute at a time. one second at a time. (with mindful awareness)

This litany gets me through any time I begin to think about drinking and have to white knuckle it. I don't know when that will happen but when it does I'm going to stay sober one day at a time. No compromises.

I don't let the fact that the craving to drink has left me lull me into letting my guard down.

Pete6256

'My father was an alcoholic and he drank everyday. I don't drink everyday, therefore I am not an alcoholic' - I justified over 10 years of hard drinking with that simple (and ultimately flawed) rationale

Although I am new to the stage of wanting to change, it's truly shocking to me to read the comments of Luchogarza and Thomas11. Because they sound EXACTLY like me. I am starting to realise that I am not different, or special, or unique in my drinking habits, I'm just a plain old alcoholic.

My personal pattern involves Mon, Tues, Weds of hangover/detox. Thursday could go either way. But Friday, Saturday and Sundays are 100% drink until I pass out days, every week without fail, year after year. Any public holidays or annual leave are also guranteed drinking days. That pattern I've just described never changes and I will cancel or ignore any other obligations that conflict with my drinking cycle. I need to figure out a way to break this cycle or I will never change!

BrendaChenowyth

I think of "one day at a time" as living in the moment. I'm just not gonna drink right now. That's all I need to be concerned with right now. Practice that until it takes less effort.

Grymt

Yet.

When I started I used to drink once every two weeks.

My last was an unbroken 6 month binge. ( apart from a very brief lapse a few years later.)