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Feeling shocked and worried.

Old 02-07-2017, 06:47 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Pete6256 View Post
addictioncampuses.com/resources/addiction-campuses-blog/the-4-stages-of-alcoholism-for-the-functioning-alcoholic/

I just read this blog that really worried me, has anyone read this before?

Im really new to all this, but I honestly feel like 'Stage 4' might have been specifically written about me. The line: 'Men especially hang their hat on the fact they still go to work everyday...', that's what I ALWAYS say to myself and others to excuse my drinking. The changing appearance, the liver enzymes, the gradual neglection of family members, all that is absolutely happening in my life over the last few years.

I really have to turn this around, I had no idea I was so far gone.
Over my 27 years of daily drinking I have been through all 4 stages.

I quit drinking 106 days ago and hopefully I will never pick up again.
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Old 02-08-2017, 04:04 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Pete6256 View Post
addictioncampuses.com/resources/addiction-campuses-blog/the-4-stages-of-alcoholism-for-the-functioning-alcoholic/

I just read this blog that really worried me, has anyone read this before?

Im really new to all this, but I honestly feel like 'Stage 4' might have been specifically written about me. The line: 'Men especially hang their hat on the fact they still go to work everyday...', that's what I ALWAYS say to myself and others to excuse my drinking. The changing appearance, the liver enzymes, the gradual neglection of family members, all that is absolutely happening in my life over the last few years.

I really have to turn this around, I had no idea I was so far gone.
I didn't read your link....because I have read many like it. I knew and ignored how close I was to the brink of death for quite awhile (years) as I got worse and worse- if there could be a stage 5 it would have been me.

At 39, last Feb, my brand new liver dr (where I got sent straight from my GP after yet another situation) told me I had a year, 18 mo to quit. By that point I was drinking a handle of vodka ever two days or less, after a good 7-8 years of alcohol abuse and too many hospital stays, injuries, and alcohol-related trauma to count. I was undernourished and underweight and very, very sick.

I went cold turkey. And now at 351 days, with clear and normal liver function (it was on the barest thread and brink of cirrohsis) - it is astonishing the physical, mental and emotional life I have.

I could tell you a lot more details or show you before an after pics - i will just leave it here: it is possible for anyone who is not dead to recover and have a sober life. Perfect? Nah. "Leftovers" from our abuse? Likely, to some degree. But living a real, sober life is possible and so (SO) much better.

I hope you stop drinking and take a chance on that kind of life. You deserve it, whoever you are.
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Old 02-08-2017, 04:48 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Welcome! Whatever brought you here was very fortuitous.

15 or so years of heavy drinking, and miraculously I still had a job, still had a life that looked great from the outside, but in reality was teetering on disaster.

I was a long-distance runner, went to the gym, practised yoga regularly, blah blah blah, but I had terrible health problems I concealed: a painful liver, increasingly high blood pressure, strange allergic reactions, hives, feeling fluey all the time, a whole gamut of complaints that I knew were getting worse. I was on the express train to liver failure but didn't want to admit it.

And I was barely holding it together at work, hungover every morning, getting in later and later, an anxious, bad-tempered mess who couldn't concentrate, and paranoid all the time that people were onto how much I was really drinking. It was just a matter of time before it all went south, and I knew it.

I found SR when I began to recognise the severity of my problem. It took a full year for my stubborn denial to completely fall away and then - by some blessing - I managed to find and keep sobriety.

Please don't wait that long. From the point of realisation to the point when you can start to do irreversible damage ... it is not long at all and it can happen in a flash. You are on the elevator going down and the last few stops are the quickest.

Or you can sober up, have a fantastic life and reach the potential you really deserve to - that's the promise of sobriety and for me it has absolutely come true.

Someone in a post before made the observation about what sober functioning is like compared to alcoholic "functioning" - yep, they are light years apart. Stay here and read around, join the community, learn from the great people here.
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Old 02-08-2017, 05:53 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Functioning is a stage of alcoholism, not a type. The next stage is non-functioning.
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Old 02-08-2017, 05:53 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I've grown to hate the term 'functioning alcoholic'. I have abused alcohol most of my adult life (I am retired now). I teetered on the edge of making a mess of things for years, had days off due to hangovers, had the shakes at meetings in the morning and a head full of anxiety as I went about my work and my life. I really do not know how I managed to cope and actually do pretty well at my chosen career. I do know I had a miserable and unhappy time of it much of the time and that somehow that few hours of respite from hell every evening kept me hooked and coming back for more. It was and is a terrible trap that saps your life away.

Functioning? Well maybe. Alcoholic, certainly. Miserable - absolutely! Wasting one's life - so very very sadly - true.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:13 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Pete6256 View Post
Thanks Dee. I certainly hope so.

It's only recently that I've started to take this stuff seriously (I think I've been avoiding the truth for years) that I realize just how bad things are getting. I mean, it's not normal to drink yourself into oblivion at home by yourself on a regular basis, lie to people constantly about how much you drink or ignore the clear physical warning signs from your doctor.

It's honestly not an exaggeration for me to say that I cannot remember when I last went a weekend without getting completely wasted. It must be literally years. But this week I am going to give it hell, and I'm going to try.
No my friend, it's not normal. I drank that way for over 20 years. The good news is you can quit. It starts with just putting the bottle down. I think a lot of people, understandably, get overwhelmed by the idea of stopping, and obsess over every detail. I can tell you based on my own extensive research on the subject that the journey begins with the commitment to not drink, no matter what. Then you must find the tools that will aid you in your own recovery.

I have found SR to be an invaluable resource of support, ideas and suggestions. And of course AA and other recovery programs have helped millions of people. But it starts with you. You just have to put the drink down first. One method that has helped me not pick back up is to play the tape entirely through. I now finally understand, again after years of "research" that I'll never be one of those people who can just enjoy a drink or two. Picking back up for me is an almost guarantee of regret, shame and humiliation, not to mention my own destruction and that of those around me. Those are just a few reasons why I don't drink anymore. If I can do it anyone can. I am sending prayers and positive vibes your way!
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:24 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Part of the problem is the shame of admitting something like that. And "What will people think?" (when they already know anyway). And some folks still believe that "He brought it on himself. The leopard never changes its spots". I had to quit in order to escape death. And an alcoholic nurse told me that she'd rather die of cancer than have the suffering and pain alcoholics end up with. I quit and I survived. It's been 28 plus years. I no longer care "what people think". I'm alive.

W.
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Old 02-08-2017, 09:47 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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That is the truth wpainterw. Makes me laugh when I let myself think "What will people think!"
Whether drunk or hungover...They know..
This is one time when it is all about you. Do what it takes to stay sober. I still say when one gets sober...it gives hope to someone else.
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Old 02-08-2017, 05:45 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wpainterw View Post
Part of the problem is the shame of admitting something like that. And "What will people think?" (when they already know anyway). And some folks still believe that "He brought it on himself. The leopard never changes its spots". I had to quit in order to escape death. And an alcoholic nurse told me that she'd rather die of cancer than have the suffering and pain alcoholics end up with. I quit and I survived. It's been 28 plus years. I no longer care "what people think". I'm alive.

W.
I quit the day I said goodbye in Hospice to my bestie, she was finally lying there in peace but she suffered, made my choice to save my precarious liver obvious. I miss her, wish we could have tried sobriety together.
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Old 02-08-2017, 05:58 PM
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It is a horrible death. Something to keep in mind. Nothing is worth going through that. Sorry about your loss Mklove.
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Old 02-09-2017, 06:35 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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"it's not normal to drink yourself into oblivion at home by yourself on a regular basis, lie to people constantly about how much you drink or ignore the clear physical warning signs from your doctor."

It was for me...

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Old 02-09-2017, 11:03 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Congratulations on joining SR and deciding to quit Pete6256!

Most of us adults don't really have a choice about whether we work or not, unless we inherit or win the lottery we are obliged to work to keep a roof over our heads and so we go in feeling like death because we are driven by nessessity, we have to go in.

In that respect "functioning" is s very apt word because that is what we want from our domestic appliances, "to function" and that is what we reduce ourselves to, a kind of sentient domestic appliance.

It is no life at all, I doubt if many of us told our career advisors when we were younger that we wanted to "function." It is all a lie really.
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