Taking a Break from SR
 

Hi SR friends,

I'm going to take a break for a bit. Stuff's been too triggering for me recently and I need to step away.

Wishing that you all be "happy, joyous and free".

:You_Rock_

C3

I'm sorry you've felt triggered here centered - I think/hope you have other support to lean on?

Don't be a stranger - the door here at SR always opens both ways :)

D

I find it quite triggering at times too. I'm going to my first AA meeting since 2003 tonight.

I guess it affects us all in various ways, and there's no one 'right' reaction.

I feel anything but triggered here - this is like my safe place.

D

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the increased thinking about stuff that used to be so much a part of my boozing life. It helps me to clarify areas I need to work on. I've gotten a bit complacent about some things in my rather insular life.

Take some time, we'll be here if you need us.:grouphug:

Take care friend, your posts have helped me. Be good to yourself. Come back anytime.

Hi Centered, I get you. Some days are harder on here than others. when I'm feeling that way I usually peruse other areas of the board. How I perceive things has a lot to do with where my own mind is on any given day.

I have a tendency to overthink, I think it's second nature for most of us here. Still, I want to offer this to you.

I was almost 18 months sober last time through. After about the 9 month mark I felt somewhat like you are feeling right now. I didn't want to see or hear anything about alcohol because I felt secure in sobriety and began to perceive reading or hearing anything about alcohol as uncomfortable. A trigger of sorts. I was bouncing happily through my sober life and very secure that I had it. No help needed anymore. I began coming here more infrequently and also stopped going to meetings. I have to be honest, I did ok for another 7 to 8 months. By ok I mean I stuffed that mindfulness about what drinking had done in my life deep down inside and put a great face on my sobriety. I began to live my old life but sober. It didn't take long for all mindfulness as to why I quit to leave me. Soon, those pictures of friends on Facebook with their drinks crept into my head. Bit by bit, the old ways of thinking returned until that final, fateful night when I took my first drink again. I wasn't craving it. It wasn't necessary. I just placed myself in the worst possible situation, in a fully stocked limo with my work buddies. I had effectively removed every tool that I had in my life to remind me where alcohol leads me. I drank. I was ok at first. Not out of control, kept a check on it. Got away with it for a while. Until last May when the sobriety Gods were screaming and I once again proved exactly why I have no business ever letting alcohol pass my lips again. It was a horrifying day that will never leave me for the rest of my life.

The reason I'm telling you is this. I had to go back and think about where I went wrong. How could it be that my life was so much a mess that I could ever allow myself to consider drinking? How did I ever give up the goodness I had found? I realized it was because little by little, I effectively removed every single sobriety tool that I had acquired. I had lost all mindfulness.

It was also then I realized that when my head is telling me that I need to walk away from a sobriety tool that's a surefire clue it's when I need that tool the most.

With that being said, I respect your decision to take a break. However, I hope that you continue to make sure that you focus on supportive measures that will never allow old thoughts to creep back in like I did. SR is always here. I know I was sure thankful when I logged back in here last May to see that many of my sober family was still here.

I hope to see you back soon and wish you all the best.

I read almost every day - for me, the newcomers threads trigger thoughts about those wretched, panicked, sick mornings and I relive a bit of that old horror story that used to be my life.
Not pleasant at all BUT it does serve to make me feel very grateful to be rested, relatively sane and peaceful.

I understand you.I have taken several breaks in the 8 years I have been coming to SR.

Wishing you well.

I can relate to the need for an occasional break. For example - over the last few days, I didn't feel like talking about sobriety or recovery, so I didn't. I didn't really even announce it either...just stepped away from the conversations for a bit, and came back.

Constantly thinking about sobriety can be taxing and tiring, but the important thing is to rest, not to quit. I always have to make sure that my bouts of rest are not depression in disguise, or the AV using an opportunity to sneak in and take over.

ABW1

Hugs and love, D - hope to see you soon!
xo
A

I've done that a few times, as well.

I wish you well and hope you'll visit when you feel the time is right.

Best of luck to you. I took my break....after some sober time it turned into "Yeah I got a handle on this...sure one won't hurt. Will meet up at the club with you after work" and I did have it under control. And then I didn't. And I can't even tell you when I spiraled down. This was my life lesson in "moderation".....there is no such thing for myself. Hope to hear from you again Grymt. :grouphug:

Take it easy Centered. Hope to see you in the future.

Hello Centered!

Just going by your join date, you may be nearing a year sober??

I found that period of time to be one where I spent much less time on SR as my monthly thread had slowed down and I was just getting weary of reading Newcomer's stories of personal angst. I was ready to just get on with my sober life.
I began to have distant thoughts of maybe moderation would be possible again since I showed that I could go a year without drinking. These thoughts scared me and I began to delve into other parts of SR that I had not explored previously. I began sharing my thoughts and hopes with newbies. I found that I really need to be here every day, however briefly, to keep it fresh and real. Otherwise, I am pretty sure that my AV would win once again.

We are all different. All the best in your journey!

I am sorry. Too late to edit. I meant to address my post to Centered!

Hey Ladyblue

I had effectively removed every tool that I had in my life to remind me where alcohol leads me.

This is exactly what almost every alcoholic who has had any sober time will say. Or that has been my experience. The brain is very tricky and will dismantle our recovery brick by brick if we let it. Very strange but true. This is a daily discipline, just as drinking is (or can be).

People tend to respond to someone wanting a break in all sorts of ways, including worries that it might be sign of an upcoming relapse. Sometimes it is, other times not. I have never got away from SR to relapse but taken many sober breaks and am up and down with how much time I spend on SR in general. I personally never really felt triggered by anything coming from others here in a negative sense that would have repulsed me but did get triggered by my own obsessional tendencies, spending too much time online as a distraction from other important things in my life. It really helps to stay back for a while then and focus on what I need to deal with and what provides the best balance. I also find that doing the same thing(s) for extended periods of time for my recovery will typically lose from the efficacy of the method, so mixing it up and finding fresh approaches every now and then can be very helpful.
All the best to you :)

Hope to see you again soon, Centered. In the meantime, wishing you the very best!

I will miss you.