Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527

Hi Centered, I get you. Some days are harder on here than others. when I'm feeling that way I usually peruse other areas of the board. How I perceive things has a lot to do with where my own mind is on any given day.

I have a tendency to overthink, I think it's second nature for most of us here. Still, I want to offer this to you.

I was almost 18 months sober last time through. After about the 9 month mark I felt somewhat like you are feeling right now. I didn't want to see or hear anything about alcohol because I felt secure in sobriety and began to perceive reading or hearing anything about alcohol as uncomfortable. A trigger of sorts. I was bouncing happily through my sober life and very secure that I had it. No help needed anymore. I began coming here more infrequently and also stopped going to meetings. I have to be honest, I did ok for another 7 to 8 months. By ok I mean I stuffed that mindfulness about what drinking had done in my life deep down inside and put a great face on my sobriety. I began to live my old life but sober. It didn't take long for all mindfulness as to why I quit to leave me. Soon, those pictures of friends on Facebook with their drinks crept into my head. Bit by bit, the old ways of thinking returned until that final, fateful night when I took my first drink again. I wasn't craving it. It wasn't necessary. I just placed myself in the worst possible situation, in a fully stocked limo with my work buddies. I had effectively removed every tool that I had in my life to remind me where alcohol leads me. I drank. I was ok at first. Not out of control, kept a check on it. Got away with it for a while. Until last May when the sobriety Gods were screaming and I once again proved exactly why I have no business ever letting alcohol pass my lips again. It was a horrifying day that will never leave me for the rest of my life.

The reason I'm telling you is this. I had to go back and think about where I went wrong. How could it be that my life was so much a mess that I could ever allow myself to consider drinking? How did I ever give up the goodness I had found? I realized it was because little by little, I effectively removed every single sobriety tool that I had acquired. I had lost all mindfulness.

It was also then I realized that when my head is telling me that I need to walk away from a sobriety tool that's a surefire clue it's when I need that tool the most.

With that being said, I respect your decision to take a break. However, I hope that you continue to make sure that you focus on supportive measures that will never allow old thoughts to creep back in like I did. SR is always here. I know I was sure thankful when I logged back in here last May to see that many of my sober family was still here.

I hope to see you back soon and wish you all the best.

Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527

Hi Centered, I get you. Some days are harder on here than others. when I'm feeling that way I usually peruse other areas of the board. How I perceive things has a lot to do with where my own mind is on any given day.

I have a tendency to overthink, I think it's second nature for most of us here. Still, I want to offer this to you.

I was almost 18 months sober last time through. After about the 9 month mark I felt somewhat like you are feeling right now. I didn't want to see or hear anything about alcohol because I felt secure in sobriety and began to perceive reading or hearing anything about alcohol as uncomfortable. A trigger of sorts. I was bouncing happily through my sober life and very secure that I had it. No help needed anymore. I began coming here more infrequently and also stopped going to meetings. I have to be honest, I did ok for another 7 to 8 months. By ok I mean I stuffed that mindfulness about what drinking had done in my life deep down inside and put a great face on my sobriety. I began to live my old life but sober. It didn't take long for all mindfulness as to why I quit to leave me. Soon, those pictures of friends on Facebook with their drinks crept into my head. Bit by bit, the old ways of thinking returned until that final, fateful night when I took my first drink again. I wasn't craving it. It wasn't necessary. I just placed myself in the worst possible situation, in a fully stocked limo with my work buddies. I had effectively removed every tool that I had in my life to remind me where alcohol leads me. I drank. I was ok at first. Not out of control, kept a check on it. Got away with it for a while. Until last May when the sobriety Gods were screaming and I once again proved exactly why I have no business ever letting alcohol pass my lips again. It was a horrifying day that will never leave me for the rest of my life.

The reason I'm telling you is this. I had to go back and think about where I went wrong. How could it be that my life was so much a mess that I could ever allow myself to consider drinking? How did I ever give up the goodness I had found? I realized it was because little by little, I effectively removed every single sobriety tool that I had acquired. I had lost all mindfulness.

It was also then I realized that when my head is telling me that I need to walk away from a sobriety tool that's a surefire clue it's when I need that tool the most.

With that being said, I respect your decision to take a break. However, I hope that you continue to make sure that you focus on supportive measures that will never allow old thoughts to creep back in like I did. SR is always here. I know I was sure thankful when I logged back in here last May to see that many of my sober family was still here.

I hope to see you back soon and wish you all the best.