tomsteve

i drank for about 23 years.
it was going to take T.I.M.E. for me to learn and i did that by practicing the principles of the program daily.
Things
I
Must
Earn.

in the meantime, i trudged the road of happy destiny.

SoberLeigh

T.I.M.E. - fantastic, tomsteve; thanks.

SoberLeigh

Thinking of you, BC.

Bobbieka

Brenda, my son just found a counselor at a church that is seeing him for free everyday. Not talking about church, just recovery. Maybe you can find something like that. They're out there.

In the meantime - you are very much in my prayers and thoughts. Hugs to you.

BrendaChenowyth

Thank you Bobbieka.. I need to find something like that.

Today was really really rough.. I say that like the day is over and it's only 1pm, but it is, because it started at 5am.. I am glad to be home and comfy and relaxing but being around other people was just painful.

The herbal thing helps a little, I did clean my kitchen last night.. I want to go to the gym later.. don't know if it'll happen. I need to clean my room a little.

Michael66

Brenda

I know you are interested in spiritual things. You may be interested that early Christians described a feeling they called 'acedia'. It was loss of caring about anything in life. Some have noted the similarity with what we today call 'depression', but others have considered it a bit different, having more of a spiritual dimension and origin. I don't know if you'll find anything to help, but you may want to look into the spiritual thoughts on 'acedia'. Below is a Wikipedia page as an entry point.

Anyway, you are in my thoughts and prayers. So often we are not suddenly filled with joy when we stop drinking. It often takes time to adjust and gather new energy, it seems.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acedia

hellrzr

Have you been attending AA meetings? What you describe sounds a lot like untreated Alcoholism.

saoutchik

It does sound like you could do with talking to a professional brenda.

I hope things can change for you

BrendaChenowyth

It sounds like depression. I have been sober since August, so hardly untreated. I certainly have done a lot of work to get here.

Mentium

There are some AA members who believe that 'untreated' means not having had a 'spiritual awakening' and followed the 12 Step program. Sadly it is dogma in some quarters.

I attend AA and don't personally believe there is only one way to get sober - or 'happily sober' , however it is also true to say that some AA members I have come into contact with have found happiness and contentment via the program.

Good luck with your mood issues.

hellrzr

By untreated Alcoholism I mean that you stopped drinking without a solution to your issues. I've posted this on here a few times this past week but Alcoholism is a thinking disease and not a drinking disease. If drinking is your problem that you simply stop drinking and your life will get better. When an alcoholic stops drink their life will get worse and worse because they have just removed their only solution to living life.

So if you have simply stopped drinking but are not taking any other action and your life feels like it's getting worse than it sounds like you need to take some action. The action that helped me was AA. Once this stuff was explained to me and I was able to see it in others than it made sense and continues to make sense today and helps me live a different life than I had been.

So no, I don't believe you need a spiritual awakening to treat Alcoholism but you do have to take action beyond just not drinking if you expect to get better.

Brenda, if you think you have depression than why don't you see a doctor? If you truly have depression the only solution to that, that I know of, is medication. Not a fun prospect but if you are depressed and you get the right help from a doctor it might turn your life around. Or if you don't want to do that give AA an honest try and see if it helps. If it doesn't there are other things out there than may help you. All I can do it share what worked for me and what I've seen work in many others. I wish you luck on finding your solution.

BrendaChenowyth

I know there is more to it than stopping drinking. Thank you.

hellrzr

So are you doing anything other than not drinking?

BrendaChenowyth

Absolutely not. I have done absolutely nothing but sit around and think about not drinking. That must be why I'm depressed.

Mags1

Hi Brenda
I remember Dee saying about when we stop drinking if we do the same but without a drink in our hands. I can't remember the exact words but we're not progressing. I was like that when I first stopped drinking.

It takes a while to adjust , to learn to live without alcohol, certainly did me.

All the best for whichever path you decide on.
I read a good book called 'the Shack' recommended on SR. Very thought provoking.

hellrzr

I don't understand why you are being hostile. I was simply trying to offer you advice that has worked for me and many others in my life. I wish you good luck in your search for happiness.

Algorithm

Brenda,

I was going to write something interesting about hedonic set points, pleasure, and drug withdrawal, but a quick search brought up this old thread. Worth reading, perhaps, or searching the Internet or SR for these terms.

Anhedonia

In any case, six months is still a lot of time. If you won't consider antidepressants, then I recommend regular exercise if you are not doing that. It does help significantly all around if you stick to it.

teatreeoil007

Brenda,
You sound depressed. The cause could be early sobriety. But there have been other issues in your life that need to be addressed and I will say once again therapy is needful.

As to meds: Only you can consent to taking them. Sounds like you are aware of the pros and cons and side effects, etc. But your comment that medication is the same as drinking; I'd have to disagree. It's not the same. The meds work on the neurotransmitters in a certain way. They don't make you drunk or high or euphoric; that's not what they are intended for...

Alcohol is a CNS depressant. (you know that)It's also referred to as a 'sugar', chemically speaking. Your brain has a void in it right. The 'space' that alcohol took up is empty because the alcohol is gone. And while that is GOOD, it's a huge adjustment. This is so much a brain thing and our brain impacts our whole lives!

I've been there...and know how it feels to not want to get up in the morning and lose interest in things. I'm through it now thank God, but I know how it feels. But, I literally FORCED myself to go ahead and do things...get out of the house even if it's that last thing you feel like doing...

Get up, eat a good breakfast, take a shower, fix your hair and make-up, put on some clothes you like and step out your door and just go somewhere....you WILL feel better if you take care of yourself and you appearance; you really will.

You WILL feel better if you are really careful about your diet; what you put in your body. InControl is spot on in his post about protein and dopamine!!!

Now: as to this gym thing. Brenda, it's unacceptable that you can't get into a gym you are paying for. Just unacceptable. Be ASSERTIVE and talk to the person who is over the front desk girl and get it straightened out, for goodness sakes. What have you got to lose? Honey if you don't speak up it will never get resolved.

You have WAY more POWER than you know......Speak up; but practice doing so in an assertive way rather than an aggressive way.

My challenge for you is to go to the gym and get that resolved to your satisfaction. Tell yourself you are practicing assertiveness which will serve you well throughout your life. You can DO it. It could be an empowering experience.

thomas11

Hi BC, I think many people go through periods of feeling "blah". I am kind of a believer in biorhythms and that they cycle. And when they are at their low, we feel crappy...for days. I would imagine if it doesn't get better after a period of time, it might be worthwhile looking into getting to the bottom of it.

Fly N Buy

I live with daily depression for a bit now over some issues in my life that are painful , and also attend meetings.

I am at 31 months sober tomorrow and don't obsess over not drinking nor contemplate a drink. Regardless of how I feel I get on the treadmill of recovery and Practice these principles in all my affairs ( as best I can).

I do the things I was taught, including when I retire review my day. I try to do steps 3 - 10 and 11 daily. There's a lot of people here that do that - many never step in the rooms and "do" the program but work more on recovery than a lot of AA'ers I know. Mindfulness, meditation, connection with some level of spirituality, make amends and admit our wrongs. Not really new concepts - but work if we work them I have found to be true.

Center mentioned gratitude - Sometimes all I can muster are thoughts of what I'm grateful for that hasn't happened. At times, that's good enough.

Recovery for me is like the Duck on the pond. Appearances from the surface are misleading - just calm and serenely floating. Underneath the water, the ducks webbed feet are paddling like crazy!

We all have to paddle - that's part of it. Good for you on getting it out........
May we all find serenity from time to time and never drink.

Peace