tomsteve

how many years did ya drink for?

BrendaChenowyth

Gym's GM hasn't changed. Meh.

tomsteve, 11 years

tomsteve

how long have ya been sober for now?

BrendaChenowyth

Since August 21st.

DesertTraveler

Although I am not a doctor and am not medically trained and qualified to make a medical diagnosis, what you are describing sounds very much like me/what I've gone through Brenda. I have dealt with very severe depression for most of my life and only recently (past year) tried a few different ADs. They haven't helped much with my anxiety (which is off the charts), but have worked wonders for my depression. Especially AFTER I quit drinking. (Others are right to say that these medications are dangerous taken while drinking. It is VERY dangerous and highly recommended not to take any medications while drinking unless your doctor says it is safe.)

Not to recommend Rx at all, but I have tried Celexa and Effexor. Celexa has worked for me, but there were some side effects at first (they went away). But by all means, consult your trusted physician for advice if you think you are ready to try pharmacological solutions. I used to feel just the way you are describing: would not want to get out of bed, felt life was pointless/absurd, I no longer took pleasure in things I used to love doing, etc.

Wish you the best. Stay strong.

BrendaChenowyth

What are some other herbal supplements, besides SJW?

BixBees505

I thought it was all kind of funny, taken as a whole...but I do not mean to offend, Brenda. I do think this is a common struggle, and depression is also common. To me, you sound like you might be depressed...classically so. There is treatment and it does not involve chemical dependency.

Edit: please understand that it is the ha-ha of recognition.

BrendaChenowyth

Brb, gonna go to Health Hut, see what the lady there recommends.

BrendaChenowyth

No, I understood this happens at AA meetings, and whenever I vent to my friend Erich, who reassures me that he is only laughing for in that "I totally recognize this" sort of why. I don't know why we do this, we're dark.

Unwound

I've spent a long time dealing with my own depression it ebbs and flows, sounds like you have it bad ATM, the only thing that makes things better for me is people and the worst thing is usually being isolated and alone that really makes it worse. So my suggestion would be to find some people that are good to be around (not always easy but possible) and socialise as positively as you can. Humans need social contact, depressed ones even more so. It might seem like a lot of effort with not much reward but it is the only thing I've found really works. Sometimes if you are doing some small task to help or assist people that can help as it predisposes them to be nice but you don't want to be or doormat either.

I hope that helps, I don't like taking mind altering drugs either.

Aellyce

I have seen three different therapists in private practice over the course of ~2.5 years. None of them inquired or pushed me to give them any history (physical or mental health) that I did not want to share or that I did not initiate myself. There was no intake process, no forms to fill, no interview other than me interviewing them and asking questions about how they work and about whatever I wanted. The last one asked me to email a summary of "my story" before I went to the very first session, which I liked a lot as I could tell him the basics about me and he was already familiar with that when we first met. I simply went to consultations with therapists and talked about whatever I wanted, when I wanted. All of them also offered sliding scale, actually asked me how much I was willing to pay and then we made a financial deal that was never changed while I worked with them. They were out-of-network but I got significant reimbursement from my insurance. I tried a clinic once where they have a formal intake process and they match up clients with therapists, but really did not like that process so I just do my own research and find them myself, then contact them and we discuss everything. It's very easy. I would not want a very directive, authoritarian therapist either and actually dumped one when he became that way too much in a dogmatic manner. I'm not looking for some kind of parent supplement or dumping ground in therapy either but a professional with knowledge, experience and collaboration to address specific issues and help me work toward goals in a collaborative way.

I agree with others saying that what you describe sounds like depression. Sometimes it only takes a short, temporary treatment to flip out of it, to get to a state where self-motivation becomes enough to find good solutions.

MsCooterBrown

Brenda...I wonder if it would help to talk to a Life Coach. I live in a small rural area but once the weather gets nice - I am thinking of checking into this. They help direct you to making new goals. Coming up with a plan of some sort. I too went thru where I didn't want to get out of bed. It is scary. That is when I really upped the ante in my drinking. Of course..that in turn made me spiral more out of control. I feel better now that I am not drinking. Not all the way 100% but better. Anyway...Life Coach is just a suggestion. I am going that route before therapy. To each his own! Keep your chin up.

BixBees505

Ok, I am so sorry, but this also cracked me up! YES, we are DARK!

Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth View Post
Once I can figure out how to get my health insurance back.. and find a doctor who can see me... and sit through the nightmare of intake, being asked a million "have you ever been.." questions... followed by "Wow, that's a lot, I don't really know what to say, that's not really my area, I want to refer you to our physician, I think medication will help you..." It makes me want to cry just thinking about."

I once had a doc look at me with COLD amusement and say..."well what an incredibly dysfunctional lot YOU are". And I've done the big fat zombie routine myself. There are alternatives!! As others have said...keep trying, keep searching. I finally found a creative doc who found my lucky combo of very low dose meds. Depression, GONE. Alcohol problem, NOT. You may be doing in reverse order, but it should all turn out well.

Misc72

Try humor and music! Maybe this song will cheer you up. Take a listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byEGjLU2egA

starstarstar

Well, Mucuna Pruriens has been the top for a few years. Before that l-theanine (think green tea) was popular but I don't believe it's really a dopamine agonist.

Exercise and sex seem to still be the top 2 along with Mucuna P. as a supplement.

BrendaChenowyth

My best friend would love your doc.

BrendaChenowyth

*adamantly refuses to take drugs, goes out and buys every herbal supplement imaginable*

Sunny Mood: It has vitamin D3, magnesium, chromium, fish oil, rhodiola, lemon balm, passion flower, damiana, l-theanine, saffron extract and black pepper ginseng extracts

I took a couple of the supplements and suddenly am sneezing like crazy. May or may not be allergic. Is there pollen in passionflower extract? jk

Centered3

I find that jotting down a daily gratitude list at my sponsor's suggestion is helpful.

OpioPhobe

Brenda - as far as the exercise goes you can do a lot at home without going to the gym. A few things I do outside the gym are:

Pushups / sit ups in my room
Pull ups in the basement with a 2 x 4
Walking around the neighborhood / local parks
Walking up and down stairs
Lifting dumbbells in the basement

As far as your gym goes, why not just go to a different one? It sounds like they broke the terms of the contract by not allowing you access due to an error with their computer systems. If that is what happened, I am not sure why you would want to go back to their gym at all.

My experience is that I had to take action to get out of a hole like you are talking about. There were a couple points in the first year where I felt like that. I laid around for a while wallowing in it, and it wasn't getting better. Once I started taking action (exercise, diet, socializing, etc.) I was able to get through it.

Gottalife

It is a pity diagnosis of these kinds of problems is such an inexact science. Many an alcoholic has been misdiagnosed with all manner of mental illnesses. They spend years being treated for x, when y is the problem, and it never gets better, The important thing IMO would be to clearly identify your problem, then seek an appropriate solution.

To many folks here your symptoms sound exactly like the symptoms they had when diagnosed with depression. To me your symptoms sound like untreated alcoholism, the spiritual malady, that I experienced.

Bill wrote " I was not too well at the time, and was plagued by waves of self-pity and resentment. This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going." Problem and solution all in one.

Then there are the bedevilments " We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people"

The symptoms descibed in the book are very similar to depression, but were caused by alcoholism. Practicing the program brought relief, solved the problem, where treating for depression may have had no useful effect.

Likewise, if it is depression, then an alcoholism treatment would be unlikely to improve things, unless it did some good from a therapeutic angle.