asixstringnut

Some of you on here have seen me try to quit only to fail.
Alcohol is quite honestly killing me and I cant put it down.
I have gone to rehab in 2010 and it did not stick. I have had so many first days I can no longer keep track.
I am sick to death of starting and failing.
Please I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me.

I can't afford rehab again. Insurance does not cover it.

I just had to type this out so I could look at it.

Feeling hopeless and defeated.

asixstringnut

MsCooterBrown

Keep trying!!! I am back because I blew my sober days and I will be damned if I will let it kick my butt. AND it will. I keep reading and posting here. I keep a journal...write when the craving comes. They really don't last long..you can write thru it. It has been too cold to be outside but that will be my next plan to add...walking! Try thinking of your worst hangover ...remember if you drink that will be the end result. I wish you well. HANG IN THERE! It gets better.

mako

I wish I could help... Unfortunately I am in the same boat as you. Hugs

Toolongway

I hope you will be okay. Sounds horrible....

SoberLeigh

Have faith, asixstringnut, that you absolutely can strop drinking.

I had, quite literally, a thousand Day 1s (and now, a little over 5 years). You CAN do this/

Dee has a fantastic thread on the importance of a Plan; I'll post the link in a minute.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst

SoberLeigh

Let us SR 'work' with you. Have you thought about joining a Class

Here's a link to the February 2017 Class:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html

Mentium

If you have tried everything you can think of perhaps you should talk to your doctor about Antabuse. Just a thought - not something I would normally consider but needs must perhaps?

SoberLeigh

Also, you may want to consider stopping into the 24 Hour Recovery Connection thread for a daily of sober commitment:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-207-a.html

Alcohol does NOT have to be the victor; fill up your toolbox, dig into it each day, asixstringnut, and watch your sober days begin to mount.

Anna

Asix, you must not give up because alcoholism is relentless.

Many of us have felt the desperation you are experiencing and managed to get past it. You can do this! Use the link Leigh posted and make today a sober day.

least

I used to think I couldn't stop drinking too. And now I've got over seven years. It is possible.

Forward12

I would try again with rehab, it's covered even under the most basic plans. Otherwise AA is always there and doesn't cost anything to start hitting up meetings.

Unwound

As long as you are still alive there is hope, don't give up giving up. Do you find you learn anything from each unsuccessful attempt or is it the same problem each time?

Gottalife

Sounds like you are almost ready for AA.

entropy1964

I'm so sorry six. I know hiw you are feeling. Been there....too many times to count.

You can quit. But you need to be willing to take action and change what you're doing. AA is really helping me....and I was utterly defeated by alcohol.

Dee74

Have you tried AA or some other recovery group before asixstringnut?
i forget.

biminiblue

Fall down seven times, get back up eight.

You can do it. Faith.

Jim1958

You can do it. The suggestions here are great. Write in a journal. Go for a walk. Read SR. People here will support you! Get through one day at a time to start. Rack up those days. Before long you will be enjoying a new life.

DesertTraveler

This post really hit home for me. I've been told for years by different doctors that I was going to die very soon if I didn't stop drinking. What did I do? Kept drinking and only gave it up 31 days ago. And my AV keeps telling me to go ahead and have a drink -- just one, you deserve it...

I know it seems hopeless. We have all been there and no where you are coming from. But you are here, on this site, and are taking the first few steps. Make the decision to get sober and stick with it! This site is a good place to start.

MIRecovery

When AA was really the only option left other than death I decided to get serious. I went to an AA meeting 6 days a week for 1.5 years. Today 7.5 years down the road I still go to 3 meetings a week. Going to meetings is only a portion of the cure. Working the steps with a sponsor was the solution this alcoholic needed