blueberry2015

This is how im feeling right now, im struggling to cope with one of my kids at the moment, life has been quite challenging. Im doing everything I can, spoken to school, seen his gp for a referral, need to set the wheels in motion. Its bloody hard going right now.

So when I feel I cant cope, the devil is there tempting and taunting me, "one bender wont harm" "get out of your head for a few hours, you need it", 'its your life you can do what you want" "look at them people enjoying a drink .... " thats the thoughts running through my head but then the angel steps in 'what if you dont cope again tomorrow, will you drink again then?, "drinking solves nothing the problem will still be there" "black out is dangerous" "don't throw it all away" " just get through today"

Its a constant battle in my head right now tbh and its hard to sit with it, but I am. I havent picked up. Im scared I wont make it back.

Need to get this out there, up my programme too. Sometimes I get tired of being strong you know. *sighs*

HTown

The angel is right, the problem will still be there tomorrow. I would tell you to drink if I thought it would help, but we both know it won't help at all. Just a false mirage. What it will do is add to your troubles. Pile a little more stuff onto you for you to deal with, do you or I need that in our lives? No. Don't drink.

PhoenixJ

BB-commitment to a sober life is hard for me. Not so much the drinking bit- a black and white- do not drink. BUT the every day stuff. Tackling the brain stuff- the way of thinking, self esteem, beliefs, motivation. Almost like learning to walk again (which I did in real life). So I try to take it in 'digestible' swallows. Anything I do- like you said- 'just for' the next 10 minutes I will calm down. Then after that 10 minutes- I try again to calm down. Again and again and again. THAT is the hard bit. The constant grind. I can understand and relate to your post. Keep up the good fight. You are doing well, by the sounds. PJ

blueberry2015

I wont. Just not liking the struggle right now!

blueberry2015

Thanks, its hard sometimes. Keeping it in the day. X

Dee74

I don't see how drinking will help you with your kid tho.

Sure, you MIGHT get some respite, but you may not too.
Drinking often made me feel sorry for myself, which is not what you need in this situation.

Even if you get the respite you'll be sober again soon enough, and the problem will still be there, probably joined with a few more problems as a result of you drinking again.

I don't know what the problem is exactly but until you see the Doc, is there a support group for it? any books you can read?

D

blueberry2015

Oh anger outbursts, constantly winding his siblimgs up, rude and defiant. Its like he can go from one extreme to the other, perfectly fine than bang, agressive, swearing etc. Im tired of it, the shouting, the screaming from my daughter. Its too much at the moment.

Black out scares the **** out of me tbh, im a very angry drunk. I cant risk black out no bloody way. It won't help me or my family I know that. Im tired, tired of constantly having do do the right thing, Im going into avoidance mode too, distracting myself, sleeping during the day all the things I did when drinking tbh, I guess I could well be in dry drunk mode at the moment. Need to sort that out.

Dee74

I hope the other parents here will have suggestions for you blueberry

D

Unwound

How old are your kids? What does your son get angry about? Is he mostly fighting with you, his sibling or others?

blueberry2015

11, its all of us

enfinthechange

I was criticised by my OH for my parenting a lot, so I bought some books on parenting. .. bits of each book really helped... get some.from.amazon and read. .. pick.oit the bits u can do and that work.... keep trying! Being drunk won't make your lovely boy better behaved..... and talk about it...talk lots! !!