Dee74

I think most of us have thought at one time or another that all we had to do was stop drinking. It may be possible for some, including I hope yourself, but it wasn't for me.

I'd hang with my mates being sober (and probably a little puffed up and self righteous with it) 2.. 3.. 4.. times and it was fine.

Then, one day for no reason and no warning, I'd think 'oh I can have one beer', or one cone or one whatever....

hamster, meet your old buddy wheel....

I was trying to live a life that revolved around, and existed for, drinking - and not drink.

I think for most of us anyway the question is not if - but when I'd drink again.

D

Algorithm

I would agree, except that there's entirely too much Addictive Voice in your post pointing to more drinking in your future.

In the aggregate (as a whole), drinking alcohol has probably not done much good, but that is a far cry from it never having done anything good at all.

Drinking had some benefits, or you wouldn't have drank over and over again after the first time, long enough to become addicted. Usually it's that warm feeling, and the lack of care and anxiety, but it depends on the person.

Your addiction will not be deterred by telling others only half the story, and pretending that there was no benefit at all. It won't ever forget those benefits, and it may remind you of them soon enough.

When it does, you will have to ask yourself if you abstain only because drinking has no benefits, or rather, in spite of those benefits.

What if you could drink? What then? Would you drink?

This ties into my previous remark about benefits. If drinking really had no benefit, then you wouldn't need to try and believe that you can't drink.

Instead, you just wouldn't drink, any more than you would hit yourself on the head with a hammer.

What does zero desire have to do with it?

Are you saying that you would you drink them if you did have a desire?

Time will tell? You want to quit?

Are you saying that you haven't actually quit drinking yet, and that you might yet drink again?

That hamster Dee mentioned likes to pretend it isn't there, but it's talking to me, loud and clear. Can you hear it talking?

Sportdeck203

Hell from your post I might as well just start drinking again because I'm bound to fail hey, thanks

Your right it did have some benefits, but I don't see it being beneficial to do it anymore so I stopped, not because I had to or because someone told me too, because I wanted too.

You can think what you want about my addictive voice as you call it, it's me that has made the choice.

Avra

I agree with this. Yes major changes happen but it doesn't mean for me removing all the fun things i used to do. While drinking used to be a major part of camping to me, it doesnt mean I cant camp anymore, or go boating. In fact, i think it would Jeopardize my sobriety if i thought giving up drinking meant getting rid of all the fun things i used to enjoy doing.

That said, i recognize rhat some pastimes are probably best left in the past - like bars. However, i used any occasion to drink really, so it would mean giving up almost everything if i had to remove everything I drank at.

outside of events where alcohol is the main event, its more about who you are with i think. My two cents.

Algorithm

That's not so, Sportdeck. I asked if you would drink, and you didn't answer, but I never said that you should drink.

The addictive voice is simply any thinking that supports more drinking.

Dee74

I had an opposite reading, Sportdeck.

Everyone's giving you the benefit of their experience to try and help you avoid the things that kept us drinking.

Listen or not, but we're sharing what helped each of us succeed.

D

Sportdeck203

I appreciate your guys advice but if I wanted to avoid everything that supported drinking in my life I would have to stay at home 24/7 and not leave the house, I'm an outdoors guy, I have a cabin, boat, ATV's and snowmobiles and friends that I ride with, I have been going to the same lake every weekend for the past 38 years of my life, we camp at other lakes a few weekends a summer just for a change, We have a Bon fire every night at the lake, yes I realize that all these things support drinking but if giving up drinking means I can't do all those things that I love then no thanks I'll keep drinking, I'm going through this learning experience now, getting use to doing the things I love without the drinks that usually go with them, and it's going great for me, I have not been pressured by anyone to just have one or any other crap like that, all my friends are supportive of my decision and respect it, if they didn't I would not be around them, not everyone is the same, I know people that quit 20 years ago and still do the things I do without a problem, two of my childhood friends Dad's both did it and I see them at the lake all the time still sober.

Dee74

sincerely - good luck

D

MLD51

I have to agree with Sportdeck here, to some extent. If I had to give up every single thing in my life that used to involve drinking, I'd not have much life left. I drank at pretty much every occasion, so giving all of them up was not something I wanted to do. I had to figure out which things I loved doing the most, and then figure out how to do them without drinking. Two years sober, and I can still do a lot of the things I used to do - But not all of them. Mostly because some activities are just pointless without booze, like hanging out at bars for hours on end. BORING. It was mostly boring before, anyway, and easy to let that activity go. That having been said, There are times when I choose not to go along when I know there's going to be drinking, even if it's a fun activity that I can still do sober. It's a day-by-day thing. It's my decision to make.

Also - I have added totally sober activities along the way. Things that do not involve alcohol at all. So I think it's possible to have a mixture - Still be able to go camping, go to a friend's cabin, watch football with friends who are drinking. Then the next day, go for a long hike in the woods, go have coffee with a sober friend, or just sit quietly at home with a good book.

But that's me. I do not recommend trying to have your exact same life and just remove alcohol. That would not have worked for me, and I suspect it wouldn't for most alcoholics. And especially early on, avoiding booze-soaked activities while you figure out the day-to-day challenges of just being sober is a good idea. Give yourself time to develop a strong program, find new things to do, and broom some people out of your life whose only purpose was to enable you to drink. Then, if you want to, give a few old activities that involved drinking a go. But be constantly aware of what you are thinking and feeling, and have a solid escape plan if things get dicey.

Sportdeck203

Thanks for your input, I have removed going to some things, if it's a house party that I know everyone will be drinking I usually won't go, I never did go to bars so that's an easy one for me, just occasionally to one because I really like their wings, I have started snowboarding again after a 13 year abccence from it, my son and I have been going every weekend since my quit date, I posted about this in my introduction thread, I have a reason to not be hung over in the morning so we can go, and I've been going to the gym almost every day, today is 51 days for me and I've lost 25 lbs, it's the lightest I've been since 2008, I feel awesome too, every day it gets easier to stay sober.

August252015

My $0.02....

I don't think the real "issue" here is what we do or how we do it....ONCE the problem has been removed (AA term) or whatever other way you (the individual) has reached the point of complete acceptance of never drinking again.

It is then- and only then, IMO- that "things that used to baffle us or tempt us" (paraphrase BB 4th ed) don't bother us at all. That's the point where I live my life so, no, being around alcohol doesn't make me want to drink. That alone is my choice.

My earlier post and those of others (IMO and how I read them) are that the majority of us who are staying sober (much longer than me, too!) don't enjoy or seek to do the things we did before. Some of us do some of them just fine, and some of us do none.

I do know that in early days- probably the first 100 or so- I kept pretty close to myself and only a couple/handful of others. I wasn't around drinking or opportunities to do so....and that was just right for me. My feelings then were "why put myself around it?" Since then, that part isn't an issue (physical sobriety) but my emotional sobriety plus enjoyment of life and ease of mind....those are my priorities.

Whenever those of us who are sober and remember what our drinking days and early sober days were like, hearing defensiveness and justification perks our ears up for danger. Some call this a strong AV and there are plenty of other ways to describe it. Bottom line, we are reacting to your posts because we KNOW how strong and how SUDDEN a desire to drink can come on- and be acted upon.

Every single thing in my life- person, place, decision, time etc- support my sobriety. Period.

Good luck.

SWTPEA61

Great post
I agree with Sportdeck .......I have never in my past life made a conscious decision to stop drinking........when I said to myself...... IVE HAD ENOUGH I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE.
Thats when I stopped.......I still have a couple of bottles of champagne in my cupboard and I could care less that it is there it doesn't bother me.
Having said that....when I first decided back in November to stop I came to this forum I thought I might try to drink in moderation someday but, reading here I realized that an alcoholic really can't moderate their drinking its all or nothing. I think anyone who believes this is listening to the AV voice and this is why people slip and go back to drinking.

SWTPEA61

thomas11

When I started this thread I didn't intend to infer that all the fun things we used to do will be gone forever. I think most understand that. I love to fish and play golf. I love doing them whether there is drinking involved or not. When the opportunity comes along to play golf or go fishing, I will definitely be participating because its something I truly enjoy. My whole point was simply that your life will be different, and if you're like me it will be different (better) in a much more sane way.

hpdw

Great thread here .