carlingford

Had 3 pints at Christmas after 4 Months sober, PAWS returned immediately, on Day 40 again and feel like death, just horrendous symptoms of Brain Fog, headaches, decentralization, cognitive issues, balance issues, total body malaise, definitely kindling. I have learnt my lesson. never again. Alcohol = Poison.

Doug39

People sometimes offer me a drink saying "you can have just one, it can't hurt, you have been doing so good".

People don't understand that one drink or a thousand drinks - it is all bad news.

gregknight

Those are people you have to give an ultimatum to; stop trying to wreck my sobriety or we are done for good.

Zodomatic72

Hang in there, this is my third time going into recovery. I fell off thinking the same thing last time so I know what you're going thru. It sounds great to yourself, I know what my limits are so I'll moderate to those limits. I can personally attest I thought it was a good idea, but I lied to myself.
But, hang in there.
At the end of the day learn from your mistakes and press on

Mags1

Congratulations on your 8 days sober, MrReality!

I thought it was impossible to stop drinking! I really did! But with the right tools, which I learnt here on SR , you can stop for good!

All the best on your move, tomorrow. It's gotta be better than here in the uk. Though., at least the days are drawing out!

MrReality35

Thanks Mags!

And in relation to friends saying you can have just one. Thats pretty much how the Amsterdam saga started! You don't need that at all. I cant blame my friends right now too much, as Im the person who says never drinking again and then go on a bender. But I'm now telling people face to face and seriously about my problem and that I need support. If not, no point in being friends! Not nice but I have to look after myself now!

MrReality35

Carlingford, so sorry to hear about the symptoms. Thinking of you and praying they go away soon. Hang in there!

Mags1

Hi MrReality. Don't be too concerned if friends don't understand.
I don't talk about my addiction to anyone I know as most of them just don't get it, if they haven't the addiction themselves. They think when you've stopped for a while you've don't well and just one is okay! Might be for them, but 'just one' isn't in our vocabulary.
That's why I come here.

There is always someone here who can relate to how you're feeling, what you've experienced and be akin.

heartcore

Checking in - just went to Krewe du Vieux - first parade of Mardi Gras season. Wild, crowded, exuberant.

Costumes, sculptural floats with political commentary, drawn by mules through the crowded streets. Lots of crazy costumes & non costumes (it's the "adult parade"). Much drunkeness & revelry.

Went with two excellent women friends from AA. Danced to sweaty, received very cool handmade art gifts (in parades you are "given things" as gifts by paraders)

Felt safe with my friends. That's the ticket. Attend things with cool AA friends. I was safe.

It was a fascinating & excellent night. Sober was fine.

MrReality35

Hi Guys,

Been a while. Moved to Spain, relapsed again unfortunately and pretty hard. One positive from it is, I went straight to AA the next day. I've met such a good bunch of people and been to 5 meetings in the last week. Ive been sober now 8 days and taking each day as it comes. Im going to a beginners steps meeting tonight and looking forward to getting into it. While i relapsed and could be sat here beatng myself up, going to the meetings has saved a lot of wasted energy on that and I wish I had gone earlier!

Anyway, just checking in. Hope everyone is well

FreeOwl

hiya.....

in your last post you mentioned you 'want to stop'.

but the trouble with this is we can go on 'wanting to stop' for years. Even decades.

have you CHOSEN to START - living a sober life?

For me, that made all the difference.

CHOOSING sobriety.

Then ACTING to support it.

Not "checking out AA meetings"

But going to AA. Now.

Not giving reasons why AA (or anything else) 'wouln't work' or 'wasn't for me' - but TRYING IT ALL. Taking whatever I could from every last sobriety tool I could grab onto.

More than three years of sobriety have gone by and it's gotten better and better. The first year was tough. The second year, less tough. The third year was pretty awesome. Thus far, the fourth year is going wonderfully.......

I think I'm seeing a trend here..... one that is entirely opposite and far more powerful than the trend of a drinking life.

Want it?

Grab it.

MrReality35

I am now entering a sober life, as oppose to having a break or wanting to stop.

I'm not checking meetings out, I'm active in them, even 5 meetings in and in regular contact with members daily, if not hourly.

I have already made and attended appointments for health issues and back in gym. Ive changed more to my lifestyle in the last 8 days, than I'd done in months even when sober. I just locked myself away but this time, im actually out living. Start my pilots course on 28th and doing my Spanish course. As someone who has move to Spain with minimal friends, the AA has already made a big difference to a big move that in all honesty, I underestimated.

MLD51

Glad to hear you have embraced a sober life, as opposed to just quitting. It makes all the difference, IMO. Treatment and AA saved me - I had tried many times to quit on my own - didn't work. I felt such shame and regret for the things I had done and how I had acted when drinking - I have learned to let most of that go now. I can't change the past - I can pray about it, make amends, and live a good clean life now. It gets easier - keep going to AA! I think you'll be fine.

MrReality35

Agreed MLD51.

I have tried many times in the past and fell off and hated myself. The amount of energy wasted regrettign what i have said or done is enormous.

I went to AA and I felt safe almost immediately and for the first time in my life openly admitted I was an alcoholic. It was a weight almost immediately off my shoulders. I have a long way to go, no doubt. I do agree that in the past I quit, so for me I had lost something, I'm now looking at it, as I am gaining something and going to achieve things rather than being the same old drunk hanging off the bar in an alternative reality to everyone else. I couldn't do this on my own and Im happy I finally went to the meetings.

Dee74

excellent news on you finding AA is helping MrReality35
congrats on 8 days

D

MrReality35

Thanks Dee.

Just back from another meeting and feeling better each time. :-)

tiffanyeagle

aa is helping me. i have to work at it everyday and choose not to drink today each night, it helps to have a meeting planned and making new sober friends.

keep going to the meetings. and i like reading sober recovery at night.
i'm feeling better after 30 days but in a physical way. mentally i'm still sort of in a fog but i see that life is better sober. i can see that.

keep it up -

kathmandu

Very true.

I should be on 56 years sober by now (ie my entire life!).

MissPerfumado

It's quite powerful to finally admit it. I found that too. It was a surrender to the fact that I really cannot drink, because I'm an alcoholic. Acceptance at last, no more pretending or denying, just the thought of: OK let me do what I have to do to stop and stay stopped. Good on you for admitting it. I am glad you have found AA and it's helping you. You can really now start to build a great life. Particularly if your chosen career is in flying. I know many commercial pilots and several have drinking problems. It will not be something you ever have to worry about.

Outonthetiles

Ahhh, the moderation blind alley. Everyone tries it.

P.S., moderation doesn't work and there's about ten threads at any given time here confirming that.