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Need to get to AA

Old 02-01-2017, 12:42 PM
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Need to get to AA

Having a huge problem with binge drinking. At a point in life where it is no longer sustainable. On average I drink twice a week and have at least 1 epic binge per 7 days. I've been seeing a counselor once a week for about 3 months. I've definitely made some progress and have decreased my drinking. I even stayed sober for about 40 days. However it's not enough...

I'm convinced I need to go to AA and make meetings a part of my life. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do the 90 meetings in 90 days plan (how do people do that when they have work?) but I want to commit to going to at least 1 meeting per week. I'm so nervous and shy about doing it. I've even posted an ad on craigslist asking if there is anyone out there who wants to go with me.

Any tips or advice? Do I just have to "man-up" and do it?
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:52 PM
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Welcome to SR and glad you posted.

I am a dedicated AA er- after a looooottttt of kicking and screaming against it and sobriety. It was the best decision I ever made last Feb.

Do you have a friend or family member who would go with you? Is there an AA hotline in your area? Some places there are folks who will come get you and take you to a meeting. Otherwise, yes- just go. It is not easy for everyone- you can sit at the back and not speak - totally ok.

I did about 82 meetings in 90 days. At first, I wasn't working so I went to the noon meeting most days. Once I started working, I had to adjust my meeting schedule to get the total number a week I want (my sweet spot is 4-6, with the most I've done being 8 and the least 2, and I am 344 days sober). No matter how busy we are, an hour for a meeting is doable, somehow. Note- I didn't have a car til I was almost six months sober so I had to get rides, uber, etc. It can be done.

You can do this. One step, one day, even one part of a day at a time.

Hope to see you around.
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:03 PM
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Me too - after fighting it for years, it is beginning to make sense to me! I go four - sometimes five times a week - and to work at it rather than expect to stay sober just by turning up and listening.
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:17 PM
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I'm court ordered to attend 2 meetings per week for 90days.. I'm 20 days away from my 'required' amount. I've been going to 3-5 meetings a week and will continue going after my court thing is over. It really helps me "live" outside of the rooms. It's been a godsend to me and I'm not religious. It's basically free therapy and who doesn't need therapy?
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:23 PM
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There's no rule that says you have to do 90 meetings in 90 days. Some people swear by it, but if it's going to stress you out trying to do it, then it's not worth it. Far more important to get as much as you can out of the meetings you do go to. Get a sponsor asap. A good one will do you far more good than 90 in 90.
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:45 PM
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First be honest with yourself. If you're anything like me you have the ability to arrange your life to get booze and drink it. You say you can do this regularly. Bingeing. You also say you cannot organise your life to take one or two hours out of every day to go to an AA meeting. Because of work commitments.

Boozing, as well as other things, is a habit. Replace that habit with something that's a good habit like not boozing. One good habit is to think about not drinking. AA is a good format for that.

I found that going to 3 meetings a day in 30 days quite helpful in letting myself have my impulses to booze while not boozing. I think that was good for me.

I suspect a regime of frequent AA meetings would be good for you too if you were to try it. It's not that much of an ask. You might find there are other reasons for why you balk at this.
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:54 PM
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I committed to one meeting with an open mind and heart. The next day I went back and back and back........

For me I didn't concern myself with meeting number 90 but just one at first.

Glad you're here posting and good for you in going
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Old 02-01-2017, 01:59 PM
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"Any tips or advice? Do I just have to "man-up" and do it?"

i dont think it has to do with manning up. just getting some courage to face the fear of the unknown.

the program showed me i wasnt shy(my nickname in high school was shyboy), just had a low self esteem and afraid of other peoples opinion of me.

pick up a copy of the big book when ya go to learn what the program is- how we have recovered.
meetings are great, but going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism.
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Old 02-01-2017, 02:14 PM
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Omni,

If you are drinking just a few days a week you are like I was in my last drunk days.

Physically we probably are fine to quit. Mentally, as binge drinkers, we have a long road. I still crave at 21 months.

I totally relate to a fear of AA. The stigma. Meeting new people. I was scared too. I drove by early. I sat out front for a while.

You can be late if your need extra time. Then take a deep breath, be ready to feel emotional.

I always sat in the back.

The deal is, helping folks is part of our recovery. For one thing, it reminds us of how we started. It also causes release of endorphins. It is a natural high.

I might start to go again as well soon. I use SR, exercise, and prayers.
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Old 02-01-2017, 02:38 PM
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If it helps, every meeting I went to was full of support. Not a single one did I feel like an outsider as a newcomer.
Every person in the meetings had to do the same at one stage or another. It sucks because it's not in our comfort zone but it's just a mind game.
Go in, make a coffee/tea, let someone know you're new, and let the ride begin. I've never looked back and can't recommend it more highly. By far the best thing I've done just for myself in life.
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Old 02-01-2017, 03:20 PM
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I'm glad you're working on your recovery.
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Old 02-01-2017, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by NewRomanMan View Post
There's no rule that says you have to do 90 meetings in 90 days.


i go to a meeting (almost) everyday because its part of my recovery program

welcome omnicare
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Old 02-01-2017, 04:57 PM
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Thanks so much everyone. I already feel welcome and appreciate all the good advice!
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Old 02-01-2017, 07:48 PM
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I believe that if you are really ready to get sober you will make the time. Recovery has to come before everything else, everything. I see people relapse all the time, over and over. Here on SR, in the rooms of AA, other forums, rehab patients etc many fail to get it. You are the only one who can choose to quit for good. It takes effort and determination. You must be ready, at your bottom as they say. If you're not prepared to give 110% don't even bother, keep digging and find your bottom or you will fail.

I was so ready I made 140+ meetings in 90 days, found a sponser in the second week, worked the steps hard and honestly for 6 months, did service work and prayed for the next right thing. Chaired meetings in my next 6 months and continue to do steps 10,11,12.

All this and started going to church, while working 50 hours a week. If you want it, you will find a way.

I was a 5th or more a night drinker for years who could not imagine life without alcohol.....

I am now 15 months sober, which is not long, but I'm in a great state of mind with no desire to drink. Yeah, I have passing thoughts and momentary triggers of people, places and things that make me think of drinking, but I now know how to deal with them. I know for me that first drink is what gets me drunk.

I now help my sponsor at one meeting a week, read and meditate daily and pray as needed.

AA may or may not be right for you, but I truly believe alcoholics helping other alcoholics to recover works. Psychiatrist and counselors don't understand, they've read and studied it but never lived it, so how could they. Like a combat veteran, nobody but another combat vet could possibly understand what that man has been through. For that reason don't sweat going to a meeting, everyone in that room has a least one thing in common, problems with alcohol. I have always felt like an outsider everywhere but in those rooms. You may be amazed how similar many of our stories are.

To quit is hard the first time, it's proven it gets harder with every quit, so get it right the first time. Give it all you got, like your life depends on it, because it does.
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Old 02-01-2017, 09:31 PM
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Hiya.

I never managed to do 90 in 90. I was on about three meetings a week at the start and now, almost three years in it is 2 or 3 a week, depending on my schedule. But, I do find it important to work my plan every day, even if it isn't a meeting day. My plan includes...

Prayer / Meditation
Reading the literature
Listening to AA Speakers (I download them here... http://www.recoveryaudio.org/ )
Contacting another person in AA, even if only to ask how they are.
Step work

Not necessarily taking ages over each thing, but fitting the things in throughout the day, like filling the cracks in my armour.

I am UK based, and here we can contact the hotline for AA and they can then get someone (same sex as us) to call us back for a chat about AA and local meetings. Often people feel much better turning up to their first meeting because they know that someone will be there waiting for them at the door so they don't have to walk in alone. If there is an AA hotline where you are, why not try giving it a call to see if so meshing similar could happen where you are?

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
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Old 02-02-2017, 01:00 AM
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Welcome to SR Omnicare

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Old 02-02-2017, 06:36 AM
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Welcome! I was afraid to go to my first meeting. A sober friend took me, or it might have taken me longer to work up the courage. From the moment we stepped through the door, I felt welcomed and accepted. I listened, didn't say much, but I heard other people telling my exact same story. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I belonged. On the very first day. I went to 3-4 meetings a week early on, in addition to the 3x a week I was attending intensive outpatient treatment. I try to get to two meetings a week now. I agree with everyone else - just going to meetings might not do much for you ultimately - working the steps is the key. But getting to those first few meetings will get you on the road. You have nothing to lose, and possibly the beginning of a life of sobriety and serenity.
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