Learninganew

I've been sober for 16 days. When I drank and drugged last time I know I spent loads of money but I am finding it really, really hard to log onto my bank account and look at what's happened. This is preventing me dealing with some pressing money issues I need to tackle.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 16 days! Perhaps you could speak with someone at your bank and ask them if they have any financial planning assistance? You can't change what you've done but you can change what you do today to make it better, right?

Mentium

Well the problem isn't going to go away just by ignoring it, so at some point you are going to have to engage with the issue.

Banks want their money back and they aren't interested in making moral judgments about their customers. If you approach them willingly and proactively, rather than them chasing you (assuming you have an overdraft here) they will be more than willing to work out a plan I am sure. Getting a few dollars/pounds back a week or month is better for them in the long run than reading the riot act and possibly having to write off any debt in the long term.

Learninganew

OK Look. Posting here gave me the courage to open the website and check the account. It was not quite as terrible as I feared although it was still serious. At least I did and didn't drink to try to blot it out.

hellrzr

Good job stepping forward and taking some action towards dealing with the problem. Now you need to come up with a plan to solve the problem.

Sounds a lot like how Alcoholism works. You take the first step and it's never as bad as you think it's going to be and then you take each step after that. For me I thought each step was going to be terrible but after it was done I felt better and moved onto the next one. Life's a process and each process always starts on step 1.

Learninganew

I think the plan to solve the problem is fairly straightforward: take great care not to get drunk which will then lead me into a situation where I use coke and then have no inhibition about wasting thousands. What I will say about that is this. In some ways I was "lucky". I used a lot of the drug and because I'm not used to it, it send me mind crazy and my body too. But I could have easily overdosed and been in hospital or even died - I had no idea really what was going on. Secondly, I could have been attacked and phycially assaulted in the place I was taking the drugs - I was really vulnerable. Thirdly, I was breaking the law and could have been arrested. Also people could have blackmailed me.

Really, losing the money has been painful but compared to the other outcomes on the cards it's not quite as awful as it could have been. I also know I have a massive tendacny to underplay the problems caused by drinkng once I've sobred up. This time I can see what's happened.

MLD51

So now that you have looked - is it still something you feel like you need to talk to the police about? Or are you going to accept that it's a painful learning experience that you'll hopefully never repeat? Just curious - last week you were really upset and I hope you're feeling a bit better about things now.

Learninganew

I think I have decided not to go to the police. I don't see that it will get any of the money back and also it will lead to me getting an increase in stress and pain because of the conflict. On the other hand, I was exploited by these people when I was vulnerable. I didn't set out to look for coke and only took a fairly small amount for self consumption, certainly not thousands of dollars worth which is what they charged for me. I feel they're criminals and they ripped me off when I was foolish enough to enter their criminal world. That's not to say I deserved it - but I can't really see anything to be gained by getting the police involved, can you?

Dee74

I'm glad you looked

I lost a lot of money in my drinking and drugging days too - looking back I was foolish to put myself in situations where I had money and my thinking (and my consciousness) was seriously impaired.

There are people with less scruples than me who took advantage of that sure - but it's never happened again once I got sober and stayed that way

D