peacefulfreedom

Hi all,

So I was good for a while, then becamse suckered back in again. Badly. I'm back on the decrease and onwards and upwards with no alcohol though. I just wanted to ask, today, after seriously cutting back over the last few days, I've noticed everything looks REALLY bright/detailed. And kinda almost too much to look at. Also, I'm noticing negative thoughts and self judgement about things I can't control - like how people feel about me etc. And also, I've kinda realised how much I don't like my current life. Like I'm looking around going, hmm ... this is not what I want. Does anyone else understand this? Is it because it all happened when I was under the fog of alcoholism ? Very confusing.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back peaceful. Yes, when you quit drinking life usually comes into clearer focus, both the good and the bad. If you are still drinking, even if not as much, your vision might still be clouded a but though....I hope you can make the choice to quit completely.

peacefulfreedom

Thanks Scott. Yeah it's happening. I just didn't want to go cold turkey with the amount I was drinking.

PhoenixJ

You feelings are waking up. The addictive part of your mind does not like that. Why change a relationship (you/me- all of us with alcohol) that has been working for so long? Stopping drinking hard? How about pretending to be normal (for me) when my world crashes down around me?

Dee74

Things will settle PR...including that vividness, which I had too.

try not to be too worried about things now or make too many decisions based on how you're feeling now.

Just concentrating on not drinking is usually enough for most of us initially.

Welcome back

D

Delilah1

Just wanted to welcome you back. Glad you have decided to stop drinking.

manama

Yea you've been a troglodyte, lol me too. Here's to technicolor .

hodor

yes, I had the vividness too. Like someone turned the lights on. It was almost too much at first. My emotions also went all over the place, I thought I had those under total control but I was a wreck for a week!
Take it easy and don't make any big decisions. It can wait, the most important part is keeping the lights on and staying sober Life does keep getting better the more you stick at sobriety!

MrPL

Yes, I definite found some cracks that I didn't notice before too.

They became the base for my recovery plan, every action has to improve or fix something. Drinking doesn't do either so it's now completely out. It was exhausting to start with, but I feel great now.

Stay strong there and you can do this!

P

Doug39

As some of the others said, it is your brain readjusting itself.

I too sometimes get overwhelmed by how clear everything looks and feels.

When I was in an alcoholic haze I wished for clarity but now that I am sober I have too much clarity!!

Hopefully I will find a happy medium someday.

A guy I met at AA told me that it took him 9 months into sobriety until he felt good and his mind stopped racing with crazy thoughts.

That day will come to everyone eventually as long as we stay sober.

MLD51

When I first got sober I looked around at my life and realized it was not at all what I had intended or wanted. Some parts of it were fine, but others were definitely not. Even the parts that seemed fine really weren't - I have kids and I love that part of my life, but my relationships with them weren't what I wanted them to be. While I was busy being a miserable drunk, decisions I made in the fog of alcohol had shaped my life in a way I was not at all happy with in sobriety. I'm working now on changing the things I don't like about the direction my life has taken. It's been hard and painful at times. But in the end it will be worth it. You can do that, too. BUT first order of business is to quit altogether and take care of your physical and spiritual self for a while. Don't make any big decisions for a while. Let the dust settle and take a look at things in a month or so when you have some more clarity.