It starts here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
It starts here.
Hi all,
After years of visiting this site I have finally had enough of drinking and decided to sign up in my attempt to beat this once and for all.
I am 34 and have been a binge drinker for the last 18 years, this has got me into all sorts of trouble including fighting (never the aggressor but just couldn't walk away) which led to me being arrested multiple times when I was younger thankfully though I have no convictions. I do feel that its only a matter of time before I get caught up in something again and its all down to the drink, I would never get into these situations sober.
Drink has also ruined my career plans, things I wanted to do when I was younger never happened as I was more interested in getting wasted. I know that if I stop drinking life and work can only improve.
As for drinking I was always the one who could drink more even though I was usually drunk after my first drink. I would plan everything around drinking. As I got older I calmed it down from 5/6 nights a week to 1 or 2 but the alcohol just effected me more. I started to black out nearly every time I drank. And the hangovers changed into being physically sick the next day and having serious depression for days after.
I know I cant control myself I just drink until I cant physically get anymore in and usually over a short time frame so as not to get in trouble with the wife but then the hangover kills me and I just see the look of disappointment on her face the next day. She had an alcoholic Father who was never there for her. She doesn't drink so that's a big plus for me. However when I have been away for work I will just drink all night long and then wake up fully clothed with not a clue how I got back to the hotel.
After one of these work trips which involved some heavy binges I decided to quit. I managed 10 weeks and would read posts on here which really helped. However at Christmas I thought I could control it and went out. Then done it a week later and again last night. I must have had three pints of strong lager in the first 20 minutes then continued cant remember getting home and had the hangover from hell. vomiting but nothing coming up.
Perhaps It was better for this to happen now rather than after a year of sobriety as I now know I have to quit, I cant moderate and above all I want to quit I hate it and I hate the culture that surrounds it especially here in England.
Thanks for taking the time to read I didn't think it would be this long but it just helps to get it off my chest. All advice and support is welcome and I would like to thank everyone who posts as it helped me greatly in the past. I will beat this and never drink again.
After years of visiting this site I have finally had enough of drinking and decided to sign up in my attempt to beat this once and for all.
I am 34 and have been a binge drinker for the last 18 years, this has got me into all sorts of trouble including fighting (never the aggressor but just couldn't walk away) which led to me being arrested multiple times when I was younger thankfully though I have no convictions. I do feel that its only a matter of time before I get caught up in something again and its all down to the drink, I would never get into these situations sober.
Drink has also ruined my career plans, things I wanted to do when I was younger never happened as I was more interested in getting wasted. I know that if I stop drinking life and work can only improve.
As for drinking I was always the one who could drink more even though I was usually drunk after my first drink. I would plan everything around drinking. As I got older I calmed it down from 5/6 nights a week to 1 or 2 but the alcohol just effected me more. I started to black out nearly every time I drank. And the hangovers changed into being physically sick the next day and having serious depression for days after.
I know I cant control myself I just drink until I cant physically get anymore in and usually over a short time frame so as not to get in trouble with the wife but then the hangover kills me and I just see the look of disappointment on her face the next day. She had an alcoholic Father who was never there for her. She doesn't drink so that's a big plus for me. However when I have been away for work I will just drink all night long and then wake up fully clothed with not a clue how I got back to the hotel.
After one of these work trips which involved some heavy binges I decided to quit. I managed 10 weeks and would read posts on here which really helped. However at Christmas I thought I could control it and went out. Then done it a week later and again last night. I must have had three pints of strong lager in the first 20 minutes then continued cant remember getting home and had the hangover from hell. vomiting but nothing coming up.
Perhaps It was better for this to happen now rather than after a year of sobriety as I now know I have to quit, I cant moderate and above all I want to quit I hate it and I hate the culture that surrounds it especially here in England.
Thanks for taking the time to read I didn't think it would be this long but it just helps to get it off my chest. All advice and support is welcome and I would like to thank everyone who posts as it helped me greatly in the past. I will beat this and never drink again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Hey quit,
I was sober for seven years and thought I was cured and drank. I think that is a common mistake. Most of us can never drink again. It seems easier to me to just except that it's forever but live it one day at a time.
It really helped me to get involved here and post. Even if it's just to say hi or welcome some one new. It was a way of demonstrating my commitment to sobriety everyday. Read everything. I've learned so much about me and sobriety from the great people here. You can do it. You just have to want it more then anything else.
I was sober for seven years and thought I was cured and drank. I think that is a common mistake. Most of us can never drink again. It seems easier to me to just except that it's forever but live it one day at a time.
It really helped me to get involved here and post. Even if it's just to say hi or welcome some one new. It was a way of demonstrating my commitment to sobriety everyday. Read everything. I've learned so much about me and sobriety from the great people here. You can do it. You just have to want it more then anything else.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 6
I need to come to terms that it is over- I can not do the moderating thing. I can't stop a 2 or 3 drinks just on a Fri night. However, I did stop totally for about 3 months and felt excellent. I've started jogging which I love. I just need to love feeling well more than how I feel drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Hi Matt, just goes to show even after 7 years our AV tries to convince us we can have a few. Will definitely keep reading and posting as it helped before, then I got complacent and drank.
gr82bfree I know what you mean about feeling better, I only realise it now in my paranoid hungover state. I didn't really notice the improvements in my 10 weeks sober however I didn't have the anxiety I have had since that first binge. Never again. Good luck to you all.
gr82bfree I know what you mean about feeling better, I only realise it now in my paranoid hungover state. I didn't really notice the improvements in my 10 weeks sober however I didn't have the anxiety I have had since that first binge. Never again. Good luck to you all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 701
"Perhaps It was better for this to happen now"
I relapsed last year after 4 mos. and on looking back I'm glad I did, as obviously I had a lesson to learn (You CANNOT DRINK!)
Would have loved to have learned that lesson at 34!
I relapsed last year after 4 mos. and on looking back I'm glad I did, as obviously I had a lesson to learn (You CANNOT DRINK!)
Would have loved to have learned that lesson at 34!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's so good to meet you, Quit. I'm glad you're realizing at a relatively young age that you need to take action. At 34 I knew I didn't drink normally, but I refused to change my lifestyle. As a result I became completely dependent on it. It was so hard to repair all the damage I caused myself. This won't happen to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Thanks for the replies, I would urge anyone who just reads these pages to sign up and say hello. It's great to know there are people out there who fully understand how I feel and it makes it feel more achievable. Feeling numb at work today I know this will go and in a way it's making me more determined to never feel this way again.
Thanks again.
Thanks again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Starting again
Managed about 4 weeks after my original post. Life was going well new job less stress. Then a few Serious illnesses with Family and friends and I started thinking life's to short to struggle on sober (even though one of them passed away most likely caused by years of drinking). Long story short Binging is a struggle and I don't enjoy it. Know what I need to. I will post here and read others posts. Not going to repeat what's been said a million times about how I feel I'm sure all of you who have done this know how I feel right now.
Here's to a new beginning and I wish you all the best in your recovery.
Here's to a new beginning and I wish you all the best in your recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 157
Hi Dee, glad to be back. Already feel more positive about the journey ahead. Life is defiantly to short to spend drunk. And after seeing how it can take someone's life early I am determined not to go back. Looking forward and not beating myself up about previous failed attempts to quit. My brain is a mess tonight can't seem to type what I want to say will post again soon.
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