Back to day one
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 21
Back to day one
Back at day one. When I quit (12 days prior) I definitely was not planning on quitting for good. And I thought I could just cut don for a while. But as I was trying to not drink, it was harder than I thought it would be. I also had some clarity that I definitely have a problem with alcohol.
So last night, I got super angry that I have a problem and that I probably can't ever drink like a normal person. And I basically said f this and got a bottle of wine. I said it was because I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to know it was my last drink. But I realize this is all justification.
So last night, I got super angry that I have a problem and that I probably can't ever drink like a normal person. And I basically said f this and got a bottle of wine. I said it was because I wanted to say goodbye. I wanted to know it was my last drink. But I realize this is all justification.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Beingsober 
I wanted to know it was my last drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Do you have a plan in mind for how to make this work? There is so much more to recovery than stopping drinking. I am glad you're back and that you recognize that this is not easy.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi beingsober
yeah not being able to drink seemed very unfair to me too - but the more I stayed sober and actually dealt with my problems, rather than those self destructive f it decisions, the better my life got.
I soon realised I preferred being sober.
I think of my recovery now as a great gift
Anna's right tho - a plan is essential. Do you have any ideas on how you'll stay sober?
D
yeah not being able to drink seemed very unfair to me too - but the more I stayed sober and actually dealt with my problems, rather than those self destructive f it decisions, the better my life got.
I soon realised I preferred being sober.
I think of my recovery now as a great gift
Anna's right tho - a plan is essential. Do you have any ideas on how you'll stay sober?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
There seems to be general agreement that once you reach a certain point with alcohol addiction there is little chance of returning to anything like 'normal' drinking. I know it applies to me anyway. Over the years I tried stopping for a while and then drinking only three or four days out of seven (I was a daily drinker), I tried stopping for longer periods and then seeing if I could then 'drink like other people' - and all the rest of it.
For me it isn't possible. I could have started that last sentence with 'sadly' but at this very moment it feels like a liberation rather than a sadness that I know I can't drink.
Hoping that attitude continues! All the best!
For me it isn't possible. I could have started that last sentence with 'sadly' but at this very moment it feels like a liberation rather than a sadness that I know I can't drink.
Hoping that attitude continues! All the best!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: London
Posts: 22
Normal people drink when they want to; they would not understand why you or i think about how much we drink or the frequency as it would be like us worrying about how much cheese we eat and expecting them to identify with the worry and concern over the amount of cheese we eat. Normal people drink on special occasions if at all, they have no issue with alcohol whatsoever so for you and i to get to that point of drinking all e would need to do is to go back to the very beginning start again as a different person completely and we would be fine; of course we would no longer be us but would be ok with alcohol. Thats just the way it is for us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: St. Augustine, FL
Posts: 24
Hey BS, It is probably the dream of every alcoholic to "control it" and keep alcohol in our lives without the nasty side effects and repercussions. I am a serial quitter myself (quitting is easy, I've done it hundreds of times). This site is great but you might check out AA. Just like here, lots of folks who can tell your story word for word from their own experience. I know I can identify with it.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
There's a mourning process. There's a part of me that's angry I can't drink anymore too. Like losing a good friend or girlfriend. Only they aren't really a friend, it is just dragging you down, keeping you stuck. At least for me.
I think staying sober, facing the music, life on life's terms. That's what recovery is about. I hope you're becoming convinced that the answer isn't in the bottom of a bottle. It has taken me a long time to come to that realization. Actually I need to remind myself everyday - at least until, like Dee said, I simply don't want to drink anymore. That's where the work comes in, the ultimate goal.
I think staying sober, facing the music, life on life's terms. That's what recovery is about. I hope you're becoming convinced that the answer isn't in the bottom of a bottle. It has taken me a long time to come to that realization. Actually I need to remind myself everyday - at least until, like Dee said, I simply don't want to drink anymore. That's where the work comes in, the ultimate goal.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
