This is so difficult
 

Hi everyone. So here is my story: I'm a 27 year old man currently enrolled in a prestigious MBA program. So far so good, but I have a couple not so little problems. First, I suffer from OCD and generalized anxiety for which I'm currently taking medication. Second, I binge drink until blackout about once every two weeks, more often that I would like to.

I have tried quitting, was on antabuse for a while, and I am able to do it for a few months but then I am back on square one. I do not drink daily, and most often I only drink on those occasions I black out. I make bad decisions, including putting my long-term relationship at risk by hitting on other women.

I'm desperate. I have lost count of my commitments to stop drinking and have started to feel it is completely hopeless. I start strong, but eventually the commitment fades or I feel this strong urge that I have so far been unable to control.

Any experienced (or inexperienced) person who can give me any advice in here?

Life is a battleground... Solider onwards

*soldier (sorry I have been drinking)

Most of us have had a similar experience. Keep posting and reading the threads. You will find great support here.

InApickle,
Are your really 'pickled'?!!!

Hi and welcome luchogaza :)

Support really made a difference for me - you'll find a lot of support here :)
There's also a ton of face to face support in recovery groups like AA or others like SMART and Lifering.

The more support you gather, and the more you use it before you drink, not after, the greater your chance of beating this thing..for good IMO.

This is a good link for dealing with cravings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
D

How about giving up on trying to control the urge to drink.

Accept that the urge is there and will be for some time and instead work on not acting on it.

Replace the choice to drink with something that isn't drinking. ?

edit add : H A L T covers some basics. H unger, A nger, L oneliness, T hirst. Deal with those first and see where you are.

Welcome to the family. :) I hope our support can help you get sober for good. :hug:

Below is a picture of promises written in a bible. Every one of them were broken. Fortunately the person who wrote them later quit, and started AA. It's never too late. Who knows what you will accomplish.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...blepledges.jpg

Hello Lucha. I can understand the anxiety bit. Perhaps the booze is a dysfunctional coping mechanism for your studies. The 'prestigious' bit kind of stands out. Antabuse- like any medication does not 'cure' an illness/dysfunction. Having OCD I am sure you know all of this. Daily face to face support is essential for me. Having some sort of a plan- not just a knee jerk 'I can do this' response. Logic does not control alcoholism. The influence of addictive thinking/behaviours does not work that way. One thing for me is physical health, so I would suggest a check up with a doc. Remember to keep a lid on Hungry Angry Lonely Tied (or Thirsty) and Sad (HALT/S)-ask your self these simple words- fix it, or get help fixing it. Intellect does not control excessive drinking. AA/SMART are a good starting point. Posting here. Lots of good info here at SR. There a monthly newcomer threads 'class of .......month) where newbie's (like most here) can identify with people joining in at the same time. This gives a continuity and a way of identifying with others.
Keep posting/reading. Prayers to you. Don't drink. PJ

Why don't you try a few AA meetings. You might be surprised how helpful that can be to a lot of people. And at an hour per meeting, this not going to cut into your study time to badly.

currently enrolled in a prestigious MBA program

I suffer from OCD

It's been my experience, and also by observing many others, that a tough graduate school program can really reinforce compulsive behavior. The more compulsive you are in your studies and projects etc. the better grades you get. It's a vicious circle.