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Why is this getting harder ?!?

Old 01-27-2017, 07:18 AM
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Why is this getting harder ?!?

6 weeks since I quit, I thought it would be getting a bit easier now but I'm getting cravings all the time and they are pretty strong. I am dealing with more stress now and more aware of it, I am hoping this is the last big round of this before it eases up and I can go back to living a normal life without feeling compelled to drink all the damn time.

One of the few things that keeps me going is the thought that if I am going through withdrawl like this it shows just how much of a hold this thing had on my life.

I have to find a better way of dealing with my stress.

So very rambling brain dump of a post, it's hard to think straight right now.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post
I have to find a better way of dealing with my stress.
Agreed, coping with stress is important. Accepting that stress is part of life is key. Drinking over stress is not okay.

And consider this, if your addiction knows that stress is a trigger for you, guess what? You are going to be stressed. Take drinking completely off the table as an option, then work on what's causing you stress...or find a healthy outlet to relieve it.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:33 AM
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It's not a linear process, unfortunately...you have my sympathy. What kept me going was the realization that I never, ever wanted to go through this again. And they say it gets worse if you start over, which I believe...research "kindling."

Grit your teeth, point out to your addiction that you have enough on your plate without it weighing in, thank you, and by the way, it can kindly kiss off.

You can do this.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post
I am hoping this is the last big round of this before it eases up and I can go back to living a normal life without feeling compelled to drink all the damn time.
The idea that we can just not drink and "live a normal life" is a dangerous one for many (most) of us alcoholics. Living a great life in sobriety is far more than simply not drinking, for me. My life looks almost nothing like it did before I quit almost a year ago - I do live in the same apt- and that's key to my success.

Hoping won't keep us sober. Many people experience cravings for a long time, or forever, and often when least expected....well into their sobriety. And life stress won't ever stop, simply change.

Six weeks is great! What is your plan for staying sober? Tools like HALT and distraction and such are useful for the immediate handling of cravings, but a bottom line program of sober action (such as AA, which is my chosen solution) is key. I can honestly say that my problem has been removed and I have had zero cravings in 339 days. I work my program very hard, every day, and I do take an anti-craving med (Campral/acamprosate) under my dr supervision. There are lots of tools out there for staying sober; you have to find and choose to use them.

Good luck.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:34 AM
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Why is this getting harder ?!?

im thinking because of this:
" I am dealing with more stress now and more aware of it, "

"I have to find a better way of dealing with my stress."
very good observation!
one way of dealing with it I think you should take completely off the table is drinking- theres NOTHING a drink will make better.

first things first.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post

One of the few things that keeps me going is the thought that if I am going through withdrawl like this it shows just how much of a hold this thing had on my life.
Thoughts such as that have helped to keep me sober.
The liquid devil had his hold on me.
Fought the good battle and now (we) are free.
Keep up the fight and hang tight.
M-Bob
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:41 AM
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If you are an alcoholic then drinking was your solution and you have taken that away. Go to AA and follow the steps to learn a new solution on how to deal with life.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:45 AM
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You have to do other things to manage stress now. Start with physical exercise.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:45 AM
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I know drinking won't solve anything and it's one day at a time. I'm not expecting to go back to a completely normal life, my experience quitting smoking showed me that. I haven't smoked for twenty years but when some a$$ blows their smoke in my face I still get a pang because I'll always be an addict.

However I did find around 2 months the "gotta", push I used to feel daily gradually faded away and it became easier just to maintain.

I've really got to watch for transferance, I've caught subconscious thoughts looking for other avenues and have shut them down because starting a new addiction is the last thing I need. I just want this intensive bit to be over.

I am doing the excerise, my dog has never been so happy or well walked, I wish it helped more.

Sorry rambling again, I am all over the place today.
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:50 AM
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My thought is you're making excellent progress. Once they get past the first couple of weeks of any physical dependency, some people get a little rest from the hard but infinitely rewarding work of getting good-n-sober. For me, it was like I was so stunned and beat-up, there was no room in me for stress.

Then -- maybe this is your case -- I got just better *enough* for my mind to start trying to mess me up. For me, those 'cravings' weren't at all like the physical need -- they were purely mental. They went on a long time but gradually got less frequent and much less powerful. At first they were very compelling.

I think maybe 95% of alcoholism is mental. I had to retrain my mind completely to find rewards and comforts in different things.

I'd ask you first, are you keeping company with other sober alcoholics? A group like AA can be great just to sit with to get ideas on how people live without drinking. Second, are there things you used to enjoy, before your drinking got bad, that you could get back into? Baby steps, of course. Don't sign up for a marathon tomorrow!

Good luck and keep facing forward!
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Old 01-27-2017, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post
I know drinking won't solve anything and it's one day at a time. I'm not expecting to go back to a completely normal life, my experience quitting smoking showed me that. I haven't smoked for twenty years but when some a$$ blows their smoke in my face I still get a pang because I'll always be an addict.

However I did find around 2 months the "gotta", push I used to feel daily gradually faded away and it became easier just to maintain.

I've really got to watch for transferance, I've caught subconscious thoughts looking for other avenues and have shut them down because starting a new addiction is the last thing I need. I just want this intensive bit to be over.

I am doing the excerise, my dog has never been so happy or well walked, I wish it helped more.

Sorry rambling again, I am all over the place today.
naaaaah- not all over the place from this end. seems youre right where you need to be.

early on. for about 6+ months, when I had something to deal with and needed a solution, the 1st thought that would pop into my head would be drink. I used alcohol as a solution for many years, and it didn't work, so it was going to take T.I.M.E. for me to get a new thought process. gradually, as I worked on finding solutions- learned about causes and conditions that alcohol was a symptom for, and learned new ways of living life on lifes terms-the thought of alcohol as a solution stopped happening.
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Old 01-27-2017, 02:26 PM
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Hi unwound

I think there are better ways to get through stress than just gritting your teeth..

there are some good ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

D
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Old 01-27-2017, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post
6 weeks since I quit, I thought it would be getting a bit easier now but I'm getting cravings all the time and they are pretty strong. I am dealing with more stress now and more aware of it, I am hoping this is the last big round of this before it eases up and I can go back to living a normal life without feeling compelled to drink all the damn time.

One of the few things that keeps me going is the thought that if I am going through withdrawl like this it shows just how much of a hold this thing had on my life.

I have to find a better way of dealing with my stress.

So very rambling brain dump of a post, it's hard to think straight right now.
I found that quitting was much easier then the "other" stuff that followed.
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Old 01-27-2017, 03:41 PM
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Unwound--

Are you eating a very healthy diet? I've found that a large part of cravings is the body's desire for that instant sugar/carb rush.
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Old 01-27-2017, 04:19 PM
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For most of us stress is a trigger for a lot of things. Dealing with stress is paramount, I believe to not just being in true recovery, but life in general. It's always been there-stress, that is....Stress can be one of the paramount things that drives a person to become an addict. (I think of certain high stress professions that have a high percentage of addiction-type tendencies)

At times in our lives stress has been worse than other times. When I was a kid I don't recall feeling so much stress. Life was more simple. So, maybe it's a matter of simplifying....

Speaking for myself: I don't seem to be able to just shake off stress like I used to. It's more work. But it's something I really need deal with....or else....not so good things come of it. And, sometimes we don't realize just how much stress is eating away at our equilibrium, health, happiness, joy, and peace.

Each one of us has their own "stress formula": what works and what doesn't work. Some of us need "down-time", peace, quiet. Others need friendships and more human interaction. Some us like to read, to pray, trust in our higher power.

I've got to really size the stress up and not be in denial about just how stressed out I am really feeling. I got to give it a good look....because if I don't I can get into danger zone.

Stress was and is and will continue to be.
But we can 'deal'; we've GOT to deal.

We need to not always tackle stress harder, -- we need to tackle it smarter. [[wink]]
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Old 01-27-2017, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth View Post
You have to do other things to manage stress now. Start with physical exercise.
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Old 01-27-2017, 08:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Unwound View Post
I am dealing with more stress now .
Might it help you to examine the source of your stress?
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Old 01-27-2017, 08:48 PM
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Hi Unwound,

Six weeks is great!

What are you doing as part of your recovery? I found going for walks, yoga, and mindfulness good ways to decompress from the day, or deal with a stressful situation. I also found journaling to be a good outlet.

The link Dee posted is a good one.

Glad you posted tonight!
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Old 01-27-2017, 09:15 PM
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Hang in there Unwound. 6 weeks is great, keep up the good work. Bottom line is this is tough. I quit smoking years back too and in my opinion, quitting drinking was much tougher on me for sure.

Try to find avenues for when you are having tough times or when your cravings kick in. Walking the dog is great, are there any other things you could do to take your mind off of drinking?

You are still very early into recovery, your body and mind are still adjusting and will be for some time.

Don't ever give in, keep riding your recovery. I promise, all of the tough times now will be worth it soon. Quitting was the hardest but best thing I have ever done for myself and my family.

Hang tough and stick close to this community.
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Old 01-27-2017, 09:35 PM
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Yeah-6 weeks really is huge! Hang in there.
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