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-   -   Weekend warriors pain and redemption Weekender 27-29 Jan (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/403934-weekend-warriors-pain-redemption-weekender-27-29-jan.html)

saoutchik 01-26-2017 12:49 AM

Weekend warriors pain and redemption Weekender 27-29 Jan
 
Let's start this Weekender thread by wishing Dee and all of his compatriots a happy Australia Day

As a young man, long before I became a fully paid up alcoholic, I was an enthusiastic weekend binger. No problem I thought, it is only the weekend although on reflection I realize that two and a half days out of seven is a significant proportion.

My younger self would have felt pretty rough on Monday morning but by Tuesday I would have recovered and would tell myself that I am responsible because I would not drink again until Friday.

When I had my young family I did manage to limit my binge drinking so that instead of every weekend it was occasional and at home rather than with friends but it never stopped completely because I had sown the seeds for my future alcoholism. My children got older and slowly but surely I resumed my "hobby." I am certain that this contributed to the behavior that saw me getting divorced by my wife.

Once on my own my descent into full blown alcoholism was swift and decisive. The weekend was no longer the only time reserved for drinking, I would drink to blackout most nights, making it into work the next day but looking like the living dead.

Other things happened to me at this time. For example, I would often be limping or wearing a bandage from minor slips and falls as my motor skills were damaged. I would often have the most ridiculous running arguments because my ability to reason was impaired and I became paranoid.

I suspect that a lot of us alcoholics were at one time weekend binge drinkers who thought that this was normal behavior. It might be that this is where you are now, not drinking every day but never remaining sober on a Friday or Saturday night.

This weekend let's not do this and if we must binge let it be on something positive, friends or family, food, TV or films, music, keeping fit, hobbies. We don't have to truncate our lives into two unhappy states, working and drinking. You could call it mindfulness or living in the moment but and it may be that you don't want an action packed weekend but merely want some decent rest, either way let's stay sober and enjoy ourselves this weekend.

Dee74 01-26-2017 12:53 AM

Thanks Sao - I hope everyone will have a safe sober happy weekend.

If you haven't got a recovery plan now's a great time to draw one up :)

D

PhoenixJ 01-26-2017 01:24 AM

Addendum to that Sao- 2 things in life- working and drinking turns into getting fired and drinking, then just drinking. Money gets low- so out comes the cheap $2 a litre wine. Out goes family, in comes isolation- along with the falls and the memory loss. Of course- all that hiding the booze (the stash) ready for the weekend was very important. Any seasoned dsrinker would have more than one stash- an emergency one just in case the first one is found out.
So folks- listen to those wise words. Drinking is dumb.

Tetra 01-26-2017 02:29 AM

Shotgun? :)

Thank you for the thoughtful post Sao. Have a nice day.

Done4today 01-26-2017 02:42 AM

I identify closely with that Sao. Thank you for reminding me of my personal prison my drinking took me.

LadyBlue0527 01-26-2017 03:47 AM

Happy Australia Day Dee!

Thanks for the opener Sao, and congrats on shotgun Tetra!

Sao, my old life sounds a lot like yours. My weekends were my time. It was only when I was able to get some sober time in that I noted my entire life was all about drinking. If it wasn't the weekend and I wasn't drinking I was just waiting for the weekend to arrive so I could. Then, I was off to the races. So grateful that's over!

Dee's comment on making a recovery plan is essential. Don't wait until the time comes, the time is now.

I can't tell you how many times I've posted the words "What is your plan?" on this board where the OP went silent.

You may not realize it but the discomfort in answering that question is one of the biggest things that's keeping you from true success. Don't wait any longer to plan.

Date night with hubby and the DVR catch up Friday night, usual weekend chores on Saturday. Probably a movie Saturday night. Making lasagna for my hubby's upcoming birthday. Volunteering on Sunday then I have taken over heading up my Sunday night AA meeting. Lots of good stuff going on.

With that being said, I am in! Have a great sober weekend everyone!

STDragon 01-26-2017 03:54 AM

Thank you Sao, in for the weekend. Wish I could get more done in those 48 hours. I look toward the weekends now with such potential, so many things that could be accomplished. But then it seems once the shopping is done, the gym is done, driving the kids around, cooking, cleaning and what have you I'm either out of time or too tired for the things I want to get done. Perhaps I need to look at some other strategies to create space.

MLD51 01-26-2017 04:01 AM

Thanks, Sao!
I never limited my binging to weekend, but I was definitely a binge drinker from early on. I could go days or a week or more without drinking, only to find myself on a Tuesday night drinking to blackout. Eventually, the binging became more frequent, maybe 3-4 days a week, weekends included. Certainly no way to live. I'm so grateful my drinking days are over.

dontburntheday 01-26-2017 04:16 AM


Originally Posted by saoutchik (Post 6307648)
I suspect that a lot of us alcoholics were at one time weekend binge drinkers who thought that this was normal behavior. It might be that this is where you are now, not drinking every day but never remaining sober on a Friday or Saturday night.

This weekend let's not do this and if we must binge let it be on something positive, friends or family, food, TV or films, music, keeping fit, hobbies. We don't have to truncate our lives into two unhappy states, working and drinking. You could call it mindfulness or living in the moment but and it may be that you don't want an action packed weekend but merely want some decent rest, either way let's stay sober and enjoy ourselves this weekend.

YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSS! Thank you!!!

dontburntheday 01-26-2017 04:19 AM


Originally Posted by STDragon (Post 6307749)
Thank you Sao, in for the weekend. Wish I could get more done in those 48 hours. I look toward the weekends now with such potential, so many things that could be accomplished. But then it seems once the shopping is done, the gym is done, driving the kids around, cooking, cleaning and what have you I'm either out of time or too tired for the things I want to get done. Perhaps I need to look at some other strategies to create space.

I feel this way as well. Drinking was something I used to help me cope with how difficult and overwhelming my life can be. I know now it just made it more unmanageable, however the original issue of my life being overwhelming still exists and the concept of "creating space" for other things is very appealing.

Solarion 01-26-2017 04:42 AM

Thank you, Sao. I am in for a sober and healthy weekend!

Della1968 01-26-2017 04:54 AM

In

Behappy1 01-26-2017 04:54 AM

I can identify so much with this thread! I'd love to join. Busy weekend with my kids. Basketball game friday night, swim meet Saturday night and church on Sunday. I was invited out for a GNO on Saturday to a local concert. I wanted to go, but I have to say that I am glad to be going to a swim meet instead. Too early for me to be testing the GNO's. Happy weekend everyone!

Olive1 01-26-2017 04:54 AM

Thoughtful post, Sao!
I started as a weekend binger, only because I was under age and that was the only time I could get alcohol.
When I turned of age, I also turned to every day. Tried to maintain this for many many many years.

With the passing yesterday of MTM, the news, of course, was showing clips of her shows. The theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore show was playing in my head as I stepped out for my short run this morning.
The line that kept repeating: 'You're going to make it after all!!'
I do remember months and months into my sobriety where this actually slowly dawned on me. :D

I am in for the weekend!!!
:)

Hawkeye13 01-26-2017 05:32 AM

Binger here too--and I also could go long periods between binges
(like weeks or several months) for many years, so I fooled myself
I didn't really have a serious problem "since I could stop".

That gradually changed, and I changed with it, and not for the better.

I woke up this morning before dawn (as I usually do)
and my first thought today was how great it was to wake up
with no hangover, clear recollection of all I said and did the night before,
and extreme gratitude for being sober and present in my own life.


Small things, perhaps, but they have compounded into great riches
as the sober days, weeks, months, and now years add up :scoregood

saoutchik 01-26-2017 05:36 AM

Welcome to the thread Behappy1!

Congratulations on shotgun Tetra

My weekend only regime broke down because I felt that "needed" to drink more frequently, hangovers turning into withdrawals. I don't generally like "slippery slope" analogies about alcohol as it is too broad brush but I was definitely setting out marker points for future behavior.

I had heard of the name Mary Tyler Moore but did not know much about her. Reading a few articles about her suggests she was a very impressive person. I read too that she was also one of us. RIP

Midwest1981 01-26-2017 06:53 AM

I am in! :grouphug:

Thanks for the intro Sao!

Upward2Enlightenment 01-26-2017 08:11 AM

Count me in!!

Trees39 01-26-2017 08:24 AM

In. Binge on the positive this weekend. I like that.

JackDsMissus 01-26-2017 08:54 AM

Yup binge drinking is where it all started for me. As early as 13 before the local under 18's Friday disco. Never even questioned it, it was completely normal around my way. That's what everyone did at the weekend. What hope have we got if our family are at it as well and the education we got as teens was limited to just a one off assembly about drugs. Pfft, all I know is that the UK binge drinking culture is an overlooked epidemic.

Oops don't get me started today lol I'm still reeling after watching some pretty hard hitting recovery docus these last few days. So sign me up for a sober weekend and I'll sit down, drink tea and shut up :D


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