Al31

Hello all

A bit premature, as I'm only on day 2 but just wanted some people's opinions.

Next year I'm planning on moving abroad, and although it's a while away, quitting drinking is part of the plan to get their. Anyway before then and especially then, I'm worried about making new friends, dating and socialising in general. I'm only 31 so a knitting group or being a hermit isn't for me lol.

I have suffered badly with depression in the past and don't want this to come back by lack of social interactions

Any thoughts gladly received.

daisy1

It's early days for me too but I'm enjoying being a hermit, just for now. Do you have existing friends that could go out for coffee or to the cinema with you or are they drinkers?
As for dating - I had to let the most gorgeous, lovely guy go. We only dated a few times but we clicked. However at times on the phone he would slur a bit, plus on our dates we polished off copious amounts of wine. I know I can't be with a drinker, plus I'm so committed to getting better I don't want to expend any spare energy on a man yet.
I've got drinking friends and non- drinking friends , I'm avoiding my drinking ones . Before I used to avoid the others because I found them boring - now I realise they aren't and lucid conversation is lovely :-).
How are you finding your day 2?

NewRomanMan

Not drinking should have no bearing on your social life. Once you get used to socializing without alcohol I think you'll find it actually easier to make friends and/or date, because all of the general stupidity that involves too much alcohol intake will be nonexistent. Plus you'll be in better health, physically and mentally. Good luck to you!

Al31

Thanks for the opinions.

And sorry daisy you had a let a gorgeous guy go. That's gotta hurt lol.

Day twos ok. Had a nap earlier to deal with the urges lol. I'm at work right now, and I work in a bar! But I know I'm not going to drink today. Looking forward to a hot chocolatw after work.

At 31 it's obviously proving to find someone that's right for me. And to add another thing to the negative list (a light or non drinker) is really going to narrow my options lol!?!

daisy1

Tell me about it. My gorgeous guy *sniff* would not enjoy my company if I was on lemonade and I wouldn't enjoy his as he got drunk. I want total sobriety though and I have some liver cirrhosis so even if I have to stay single for good then that's what I will do, for my kids.
There are loads of people that enjoy a drink at the weekend but don't go mad with it, and don't drink every day.
How much of a problem is your drinking?

Al31

My problem is that when I start I can't stop till I'm hammered. And whilst drinking I'm doing and saying the wrong things. It's therefore got to stop!!

InApickle

Meet up.com has lots of different groups in lots of different countries, if you can't find one you could always try starting up one of your own. If you have any hobbies or just want to socialise with a hiking group it's all possible on meetup!

daisy1

That's a good one I met my last partner in a walking group when we climbed Snowdon. He was an idiot it turned out but that's besides the point.

Dee74

You have a whole year before you move?

On day 2 I'd really just concentrate of staying sober for now.

I was a million different people in my first 90 days, wanting a million different things...

find out who sober you is first and then you can start building the life you want