Hopeforme2014

I'm day two...after 15 days sober and my husband is drinking in a
to-go cup and is getting louder and louder by the minute watching football...I have so much to do here today to get ready for the work week and I slept the morning away. but I don't know if I can stay here. I feel such hopelessness.

Hopeforme2014

I told him how I feel and he said sorry and is no longer loud and is eating. Im just reading more and more posts. I feel a bit better. I need to remember the HALT thing. Never let yourself get to hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I should go eat.

Thanks for listening

Doug39

I get that hopelessness feeling when my wife is getting drunk.

If we are the only two in the house I feel so lonely - cause she is out of it and any discussion we have is nonsense and/or she won't remember any of it anyway.

My wife is drinking now and on her way to getting drunk - I am leaving in an hour to go to an AA meeting. I will come home feeling good and she will be plowed and it will bring me right down. This is how we spend our Sundays.

Crestline

My husband is drinking too. He's cooking and asking me a lot of stupid questions. I'll have 30 days tomorrow. God I hate this.

Anna

I'm glad you talked to your husband and explained how you felt. It seems that he is being respectful of your wishes, though he is still drinking. I'm glad you're getting through this.

Dee74

I'm glad you talked too Hopeforme

D

BixBees505

My congratulations. This is tough place. You have done this, and you can do this. There is no law against taking a little break, either, if it will help you gather your thoughts and your drive. Run an errand, go to a meeting, just park somewhere and cuss.

pooky

My husband drinks too. When I used to drink with him it seemed like there was a lot more to say . Now that I'm not, it's pretty quiet around here. Not easy.

PhoenixJ

Prayers to all.

Poppy79

I am in the same boat also. My hubby doesn't have a problem with drinking per say, but I feel some resentment when he does drink as it could create a trigger for me. A trigger I could do without.

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Hopeforme2014

I'm sorry Doug....it's really hard when one is trying to change and the other is not. I don't have the answer but it sure is nice to know we're not alone in this.

Hopeforme2014

Congrats on 30 days. I cannot handle him drunk when I'm not. He is the most irritating person...then tries to get all lovey....makes my skin crawl...but I also know how I have been and he had to put up with me.
Maybe it's payback I don't know. All I know is sure would be easier if he quit too!!

Hopeforme2014

[QUOTE=Poppy79;6302799]I am in the same boat also. My hubby doesn't have a problem with drinking per say, but I feel some resentment when he does drink as it could create a trigger for me. A trigger I could do without.

I hear ya and it's so hard when it's right there in front of you. I don't want to drink out of retaliation. I have enough other triggers as it is.

BarbieKen

Hi,
I was your wife, the drunk. My husband found sobriety before me. He put his recovery first. Went to AA mtgs, was of service, took commitments and went to Conventions. I sat home and drank, actually ok with it for a long time too. We had many, many fights over my drinking. I hoped in the beginning he'd go back to being my drinking partner.
But, he was happy and continued his path. He prayed for me and was a good example. Of course, all of this I learned after I quit on my own. Well ...I actually know my HP guided me.
Miracles can happen, I thought I'd never quit. I've been in Recovery for a bit over 4 years. My husband a bit over 11 years. Will celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary in April. Life is just so much better, as is our marriage. Also our family! Our son (25) over 8 years. We all are active in our Program.
Put your Recovery first always. How can we have anything else if we don't?
Bobbi

Delilah1

Hello,

Glad you are back and committing to sobriety again. I have a little more than a year sober, and my husband still drinks daily. Most days it is 1-2 beers, however, sometimes it is more. It used to really bother me, but I had to worry about my sobriety, and thinking about his drinking wasn't helping.

I am very happy sober, I enjoy waking up each day without a hangover, and I hate to admit that the mornings after he may have had a little too much I enjoy my hangover free morning a little bit louder than normal.

You can do this, and it will get easier as time passes.

Midwest1981

great job remembering H.A.L.T!!

Doug39

Thanks.

I am committed to my sobriety - I can not go back to the way I was living.

Many people at AA have told me the same thing - maybe my wife will see how the change in me is for the better and she will want to change.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Mentium

I feel for those of you who have partners who are drinking, problematically or just normally. My partner is a 'normal' drinker who limited her intake to a few ciders on Friday and Saturday night. We spend quit a bit of our time in our computer room/home office, on the internet and last time I tried to quit she would be on the desk next to me with a pint of cider at her side, glugging away for the evening. I found that really tough at times.

Since then she has decided to abstain for weight and fitness reasons. That realty helps me too.

Thinking of those of you who don't have that luxury.

Ruby2

Some really good suggestions here. Don't forget HALT. If your partner is getting to be too much, take a break. Leave the room, count to ten, go for a walk, hit a museum or the zoo or a bookstore or the park.

Hugs to everyone struggling with this. You aren't alone. My husband still binges. He goes off and on staying sober but it just hasn't quite stuck. Meanwhile, I don't drink. I haven't for over three years. So, if you think you can't do it while your partner still drinks, that isn't true. You can but you have to take care of yourself.

Hopeforme2014

Thank you. It does really help!!!