Sammy1980

I am only 11 days into recovery. I have a question for everyone. Why after so many months and years do some people relapse and how can I keep myself from doing such a thing. I have been doing very well so far without even a desire at this point to even pick up a drink. I do think every once in a while that I would love to have a drink right now. Then I think okay if you have one it will lead to an all day or night of drinking and then six months to a year before I try to stop again.

Dee74

Hi Sammy
I think there are many reasons for relapse.

A few of my reasons

* not making enough changes to my lifestyle.

My life revolved around drinkers and drinking, Without changing that a relapse is inevitable for me.

* No support or not using the support I had.

I tried going it alone - finding and using support when you need it is much better

* Thinking I was cured

Or what I call confusing abstinence for control.

I would go a week 2 weeks, a month without a beer and think I no longer 'needed to drink' so I'll be fine now.

I readily convinced myself that maybe my drinking was a phase and that I'd be a normal drinker now.

My drinking wasn't a phase - it lasted 20 years and I always drank to get wasted., Nothing normal about that.

*believing that my drinking was due to underlying issues and that fixing those issues would fix my alcoholic drinking.

I believe I did have underlying issues that drive me to drink in the first place...but I also developed alcoholism over those 20 years.

I needed to attack both areas to stay sober.

*closely related to the above -

quitting drinking and not having a plan in place to deal with all the things I self medicated for.

and of course *complacency...feeling that you have it all down now and that there's no need to keep working on your recovery.

I think as long as you're mindful of the areas I've described here, and remember that any thought of drinking is your addiction and should be dismissed as such, you'll be OK Sammy

D

August252015

As usual, listen to Dee!

I'd say that essentially what he is saying boils down to - choose to stop drinking, make a plan and stick to it. It involves near or sometimes total change to your life. IME, it is the best thing I could have ever done and I believe every one who needs to quit drinking and does will find a better life on this side.

MelindaFlowers

I kept relapsing when I thought there was possibly a 1% chance I could maybe, kinda, sorta moderate this time.

Once the pain became so intense I let go of that 1% hope.

It was a relief to let it go. It's easier to stop when you accept that there is no chance of drinking ever "working."

stillsleeping

Hey Sammy

I was well into my recovery - nearly a year I think. I decided I was well enough to just drink over Christmas, like you suggest above, and was drunk until well into Feb.
The next year, the same - only that time I started my Christmas drinking in late Oct and it lasted until spring.
The next time I started again I didn't bother stopping. And here I am, counting on my fingers, trying to work out how long ago I started this daft performance. I think it's five years. Can it really be five years?
I still love drinking, so I'm still at the stage where I'm trying to convince myself that I really did love being sober as much as my old posts on here say. But I know when I put down the bottle this time I'll be staying away from 'just the occasional drink' .

And 'only eleven days' isn't only - it's fricken amazing!! I'll be celebrating when I manage one! huge congratulations xxxx