The hardest job in the world to stay sober!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
The hardest job in the world to stay sober!!!!!
My first post!!! 3 days right now. I'm a chef, 37 years old and have struggled with alcohol basically since I've been 16. Got a DUI at 20. I had a high school sweetheart and we were together until I was 25. She basically kept me in check even though I still drank. We broke up when I was 26 and I did what any alcoholic would dream of and packed my stuff and moved to the Virgin Islands!!!
I worked on land for 3 years and started cooking on yachts about 9 years ago! It's an unbelievable job. As a chef it doesn't get any better. Best ingredients money can buy, always in exotic places, cooking new food. You make crazy money. You live on the boat so you literally have no bills. You are always traveling to new places around the world and basically working/ living on a permanent vacation. I usually bust my ass and work somewhere seasonal and then pick a place in the world and take a 4-5 month vacation backpacking around. Right now I'm finishing month 5 of my vacation to Mexico, Peru, Colombia, and Brazil. So it was Margaritas, Pisco sours, Club Colombia, and Caprhinas!!!
So now the bad things, I've been getting worse and worse for about the last 6 years. Most crew are in their 20 somethings. So after we finish a charter working hard, its on!!!! You are in the best party spots in the world with a big tip in your pocket and a 15 million dollar yacht to stumble home and sleep in. A problem to is most Captains drink a lot, so as long as the food is good and the guests are happy, it's o.k. to drink at work for the chef. Most every crew member has taken an unexpected swim at 4 in the morning coming home. But my last 2 bosses pulled me aside and shared their concerns, but they are my friends so I didn't get fired even though I should have been. ****'s starting to get real!
So the yacht has a fully stocked bar at all times and the boat I worked on last summer had its own crew mini bar. You can drink what ever you want. Plus I use liquor and wine to cook with which is always in the galley. One boat I worked on the crew shares a bottle of wine every night at dinner. As the chef I'm left alone on the boat for 4-5 hours during the day when all the guests and crew are gone. I try and hold out but I look around at beautiful water, music playing and a rum and coke calling me!!
Now getting older I'm starting to feel and see the physical effects and mental effects. My step dad died last week and the funeral took 6 days to happen. I had a place to myself. Turned my phone off and had 6 bottles of rum in 6 days, and only left the house to get rum. It's getting to a point when its not fun, it's medicine.
If I'm happy I want a drink to celebrate, if I'm mad I want a drink to calm down, if I'm sad I want a drink to make me happy, if I'm stressed I want a drink to relax, ect, ect.
For the first time in my life I'm seriously thinking this is a lot bigger, stronger, and smarter than me. I have a great life and am on the verge of throwing it away. Thanks for listening
I worked on land for 3 years and started cooking on yachts about 9 years ago! It's an unbelievable job. As a chef it doesn't get any better. Best ingredients money can buy, always in exotic places, cooking new food. You make crazy money. You live on the boat so you literally have no bills. You are always traveling to new places around the world and basically working/ living on a permanent vacation. I usually bust my ass and work somewhere seasonal and then pick a place in the world and take a 4-5 month vacation backpacking around. Right now I'm finishing month 5 of my vacation to Mexico, Peru, Colombia, and Brazil. So it was Margaritas, Pisco sours, Club Colombia, and Caprhinas!!!
So now the bad things, I've been getting worse and worse for about the last 6 years. Most crew are in their 20 somethings. So after we finish a charter working hard, its on!!!! You are in the best party spots in the world with a big tip in your pocket and a 15 million dollar yacht to stumble home and sleep in. A problem to is most Captains drink a lot, so as long as the food is good and the guests are happy, it's o.k. to drink at work for the chef. Most every crew member has taken an unexpected swim at 4 in the morning coming home. But my last 2 bosses pulled me aside and shared their concerns, but they are my friends so I didn't get fired even though I should have been. ****'s starting to get real!
So the yacht has a fully stocked bar at all times and the boat I worked on last summer had its own crew mini bar. You can drink what ever you want. Plus I use liquor and wine to cook with which is always in the galley. One boat I worked on the crew shares a bottle of wine every night at dinner. As the chef I'm left alone on the boat for 4-5 hours during the day when all the guests and crew are gone. I try and hold out but I look around at beautiful water, music playing and a rum and coke calling me!!
Now getting older I'm starting to feel and see the physical effects and mental effects. My step dad died last week and the funeral took 6 days to happen. I had a place to myself. Turned my phone off and had 6 bottles of rum in 6 days, and only left the house to get rum. It's getting to a point when its not fun, it's medicine.
If I'm happy I want a drink to celebrate, if I'm mad I want a drink to calm down, if I'm sad I want a drink to make me happy, if I'm stressed I want a drink to relax, ect, ect.
For the first time in my life I'm seriously thinking this is a lot bigger, stronger, and smarter than me. I have a great life and am on the verge of throwing it away. Thanks for listening
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
Welcome, I'm glad you found us.
Alcoholism is progressive and it seems you have found that to be true. I hope you decide to stop drinking. It is really scary and hard when you know you must stop drinking or lose what you have. It sounds like this is a time for you to make a positive choice and I know you will find lots of support here. It's always a good idea to have a plan for stopping drinking, so you might want to think about writing down some ideas to help you make this work.
Alcoholism is progressive and it seems you have found that to be true. I hope you decide to stop drinking. It is really scary and hard when you know you must stop drinking or lose what you have. It sounds like this is a time for you to make a positive choice and I know you will find lots of support here. It's always a good idea to have a plan for stopping drinking, so you might want to think about writing down some ideas to help you make this work.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
3 days sober is awesome!
sorry about your step dad
like you i know all about isolating and getting drunk to shut off from pain
i go to aa meetings and get a lot of support there
its like a big sober social club
sorry about your step dad
like you i know all about isolating and getting drunk to shut off from pain
i go to aa meetings and get a lot of support there
its like a big sober social club
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to the family. Like your name, by the way.
We're here to offer support, so use this site a lot, read and post often. Especially if you feel the urge to drink, post here instead.
Like your name, by the way. We're here to offer support, so use this site a lot, read and post often. Especially if you feel the urge to drink, post here instead.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Crazy,
Hi!
Imo....you are addicted to booze. Relate it to cigarettes, crack, or cocain. Your doc...booze.
Booze creates euphoria initially, then you suffer the consequences.
If you drink everyday, you stay medicated. Depending on how much you drink, you can get away w this for ever..until you die of something...but alcohol will have sped it along.
When you crave after few days, that is physical withdrawal. After about a month, healing continues, but mentally the struggle ramps up.
The crave is for life. It gets less and less, but will be there...lurking.
Folks post here after regretting relapse after years of sobriety.
The key is being content w sobriety. Modding your life to be happy being sober.
That is it....in a nutshell.
Thanks.
Read around and post.
Hi!
Imo....you are addicted to booze. Relate it to cigarettes, crack, or cocain. Your doc...booze.
Booze creates euphoria initially, then you suffer the consequences.
If you drink everyday, you stay medicated. Depending on how much you drink, you can get away w this for ever..until you die of something...but alcohol will have sped it along.
When you crave after few days, that is physical withdrawal. After about a month, healing continues, but mentally the struggle ramps up.
The crave is for life. It gets less and less, but will be there...lurking.
Folks post here after regretting relapse after years of sobriety.
The key is being content w sobriety. Modding your life to be happy being sober.
That is it....in a nutshell.
Thanks.
Read around and post.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
The hardest job in the world to stay sober!!!!!
getting sober was the hardest job ive ever done
staying sober had been an easy job and well worth every second of fight.
also, im very glad i didnt have to do it alone- found me a lot of support in AA
getting sober was the hardest job ive ever done
staying sober had been an easy job and well worth every second of fight.
also, im very glad i didnt have to do it alone- found me a lot of support in AA
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
I once met a guy who had been a chef on yachts. He moved to a small hill country town and opened a restaurant.
I am so glad you found us here. Lots of great support. Anna is right, you see the problem, now is the time to plan. It will be hard at first, but your life can be so awesome sober!
I am so glad you found us here. Lots of great support. Anna is right, you see the problem, now is the time to plan. It will be hard at first, but your life can be so awesome sober!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Welcome, this is a great site for support and recover.
Why are you drinking if you have the world at your feet, seriously why are you drinking?
The insanity of alcoholism...drinking at every emotion and the fact the sun rises and sets. Our default reactions get so messed up.
Congratulations on 3 days...I hope you will stay around.
Why are you drinking if you have the world at your feet, seriously why are you drinking?
The insanity of alcoholism...drinking at every emotion and the fact the sun rises and sets. Our default reactions get so messed up.
Congratulations on 3 days...I hope you will stay around.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome, Chef. I'm also a chef, albeit in a less glamorous locale. Add ten years to your age and that's basically me. Most "civilians" don't understand the life of a chef. We work very hard and long days in the stress and heat. And to paraphrase Matthew McConaughey, "I get older but the line cooks stay the same age!" For many years I hung in there and outdrank all the kids no matter the age.
But as you say, it starts to catch up with you physically, and at some point it's not fun at all. When you drink not to catch a buzz but to stop the shakes...well, it's not a party at that point.
However it's possible to get off the ride. I wondered if I could still work in the kitchen sober. In retrospect that was a silly concern; in fact it's quite the opposite. There's no way that I could still be chef, standing in there and bangin' it out every day, if I was still drinking. Nope, I'd probably be dead already.
Welcome to SR! It's good to have you with us.
But as you say, it starts to catch up with you physically, and at some point it's not fun at all. When you drink not to catch a buzz but to stop the shakes...well, it's not a party at that point.
However it's possible to get off the ride. I wondered if I could still work in the kitchen sober. In retrospect that was a silly concern; in fact it's quite the opposite. There's no way that I could still be chef, standing in there and bangin' it out every day, if I was still drinking. Nope, I'd probably be dead already.
Welcome to SR! It's good to have you with us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
Hi and welcome. Paradise for some can be hell for others! This is so true. I lived in Hong Kong for a number of years. It is a fabulous place with more places to eat and drink than anywhere I know on the planet. The social life is non-stop. There are 'boat picnics' out to the islands every weekend. Low tax on booze..you name it.
And yet I met some of the unhappiest people I ever have while there. People whose lives had been reduced to getting to the next place they could get a drink and not much more.
More than a few cut their losses and came back to the UK (or Oz) simply because the life was 'too rich'.
I'm no example to anyone, but it does seem to me that a simpler but happier life is preferable to a miserable one in paradise.
And yet I met some of the unhappiest people I ever have while there. People whose lives had been reduced to getting to the next place they could get a drink and not much more.
More than a few cut their losses and came back to the UK (or Oz) simply because the life was 'too rich'.
I'm no example to anyone, but it does seem to me that a simpler but happier life is preferable to a miserable one in paradise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Thanks for all of the replies. Still staying strong. I joined a gym today. I quit drinking over the years about 6 times for 30 day stretches at a time, usually when I do something really stupid or my body tells my mind that I'm killing it! I know I can do it but there is a big difference between stopping and quitting. When I stop it's just a goal to reach 30 days so I can feel good about myself and have a drink.
This is the first time in my life I'm being honest to myself and know for a fact if I keep up the way I've been living I'll be in Jail, a Hospital, or Dead in 5 years. I found this website 4 days ago and its awesome. I have probably spent at least 10 hours reading everyone's stories and posts. This is new to me and never realized there were people out there with the same screwed up past and stories similar to mine!! And to all the people who are sober on here it gives me hope so thanks!!!!
I'm a freelance yacht chef. Meetings don't really work for me for now. I spend 90% of the year out of the U.S. traveling on a boat abroad. Lots of time where there are no people and definitely no AA meetings. Also I'm never in one place long and don't always know where I'll be next week or the languages.
The last 2 years of my life:
Saipan(Micronesia), Guam, Philippines, France, Portugal, Canary Islands, Cabo Verde(Africa), St. Lucia, Barbados, Bahamas, Australia, Florida, Antigua, St. Bart's, St. Maarten, B.V.I.'s, U.S.V.I., Puerto Rico, Mexico, Peru, Colombia, and Brazil. Some of those places are back and forth multiple times. This website is a good start for me.
This is the first time in my life I'm being honest to myself and know for a fact if I keep up the way I've been living I'll be in Jail, a Hospital, or Dead in 5 years. I found this website 4 days ago and its awesome. I have probably spent at least 10 hours reading everyone's stories and posts. This is new to me and never realized there were people out there with the same screwed up past and stories similar to mine!! And to all the people who are sober on here it gives me hope so thanks!!!!
I'm a freelance yacht chef. Meetings don't really work for me for now. I spend 90% of the year out of the U.S. traveling on a boat abroad. Lots of time where there are no people and definitely no AA meetings. Also I'm never in one place long and don't always know where I'll be next week or the languages.
The last 2 years of my life:
Saipan(Micronesia), Guam, Philippines, France, Portugal, Canary Islands, Cabo Verde(Africa), St. Lucia, Barbados, Bahamas, Australia, Florida, Antigua, St. Bart's, St. Maarten, B.V.I.'s, U.S.V.I., Puerto Rico, Mexico, Peru, Colombia, and Brazil. Some of those places are back and forth multiple times. This website is a good start for me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Lost in the Caribbean
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
If it meant your sobriety, would you quit your current globe-trotting chef job.
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