KissMyTiara

Why do I keep seeing visions of Ben on Below Deck? LOL Just kidding. Maybe perhaps on those six months you have off every year go back to school and find a different profession which may not be so alcohol involved?

crazychef

LOL, no joke my life is very similar to that. Not sure what else I could do or want to do being 37 years old. This is the point in my life that my experience is paying off finally and making good money. I'm good at what I do. I have turned down 4 job offers this last month and had to cancel an interview because I was hired for this job 2 hours before an interview on another yacht.

Not sure what job to start over with. I'm a chef, a captain, and a fisherman so I was destined to be doomed with alcohol!! I'm pretty strong willed and have an all or nothing personality. When I drink its all. But I'm in 3rd world countries where its very hard to get in trouble no matter how drunk you get. Also, drinking is not frowned upon like the USA. It hurts people and families just as much but its a different mentality. For the first time in my life I'm choosing not to drink and stay sober. I didn't have a last binge, get in trouble, wreck a car, or hurt myself. I basically was traveling around Mexico and South America for 5 months on vacation. I came back home, looked at my self in the mirror. I didn't like who I was looking at. Looked like crap, felt like crap, my brain was fuzzy and slow. I'm blessed and felt like I was making reckless choices and slowly drowning. Knowing I'm on a downward spiral, hurting myself but not caring that I'm hurting myself. That's when I was honest and pretty much told myself " YOUR F#CKED UP" and clearly not thinking strait.

I just decided that morning that I want to not drink. I've had my fun ( and pain and hurt) and survived. It's time for something different for me. On a yacht someone always has to be sober to do duties and look after the boat. The crew takes turns each day. This crew always wants to party so I started taking extra watches when they want to go out. They pay me 100 dollars just to basically do nothing after I'm done cooking so they can go out and party. My plan now is to do as many watch shifts as possible.

KissMyTiara

I had to start taking antabuse. You cannot drink on that. Have you considered that? Maybe no a long solutilon but could work for six months until y you work out your issues.

crazychef

Been pretty good. Had a bad night in Panama when i thought it was a good idea to go swimming at 3am after 15 rum and cokes. In Caymen islands now where one of our crew members got arrested the first night. I didn't go out. thank God. Still the hardest job in the world to stay sober but I'm trying. Going to Cuba next and then the DR, wish me luck

aasharon90

I would have to consider a career change for
awhile until I get some good sobriety under
my belt so to speak. There will always be chef
jobs available out there in the world.

Until I got sober, healthy and my life in
order, that career job, if it were me, would
have to be set aside and maybe if its
meant to be down the road after I got
healthy and sober, then id reconsider
returning to that chef job.

Nothing is gonna change if that were
my situation until I made some changes
in my own life. I need to get healthy and
I cant do it by myself.

Id have to take time out, place myself
in a hospital to be taught about my
illness, sickness, disease and learn
a new way to live without killing myself
with a poisonous substance.

As a mom and wife 26 yrs ago, I was
placed in the hands of those capable
of teaching me about my own addiction
and learned a program of recovery to
get healthy.

So many thru the yrs have gone that route,
from the rich and famous of all walks of life
all the way down to the student in school,
to stay at home moms. Help is always available
and what is it to take about a month out of
your life to get healthy and begin living without
this epidemic of addiction that affects so many.

If your sick and tired and ready to end your
addiction, then you know what you have to
do. Just Do It. Go get help for urself.

Kristoff

Read your thread crazy chef and wish you well......I fought like hell to try and maintain my old friends, bars I used to go to, restaurants I loved and pubs where I loved the atmosphere....... and even the events I went to, trying and hoping, hoping harder and even harder each time that I could mix the two......at times I could and did, although you know what, I was never really comfortable and invariably was always in conflict because really I wanted to be boozing and tooting......I used to think that I could just drop the booze (and the coke) and everything would be ok, it wasn't......if I didn't get tripped up (often did) it just wasn't particularly nice to be around people going at the very thing you've sworn off......not just from the temptation side of things, but also because people getting hammered and wired are rarely that interesting when you're stone cold sober.......its an oft mentioned phrase and it chimes with me.....if you spend long enough in the barbers shop you're going to end up with your hair cut.

I can see how SR could be a godsend for you if you remain in that job.....wishing you well

crazychef

So it might be winding down. It's really hard. I finished the yachting season and have taken the last 3 months on Vacation in Panama, Belize, and Guatamala. I've mostly behaved myself but have my days. I just don't know, it's the music, culture, they way of life, meeting people and making connections. I'm more of a daytime drinker/ happy hour guy because I've learned nothing much good happens late at night.

It's just hard to imagine spending a day in a hammock on a beach or a day fishing with out a rum drink in hand. I've been in the islands/ tropics for 13 years now. But its catching up to me. I've had 3 people ask me why my hands are shaking in the last month.

Physically and mentally, I'm tired, I decided to make a change from yachting and took a fishing guide job in Alaska for the summer, its out in the middle of nowhere. No alcohol unless you fly it in through the mail. I'm going to go for it and try to get healthy again. I have 2 more days in Belize then its cold turkey. Kind of like getting paid to go to rehab. Wish me luck

Rar

I've read your whole thread Crazychef. Give it all you've got. You'll be glad you did. I wish you well.

Alaska is gorgeous country!

DontRemember

Do you have an 'endgame' in mind as far as you career is concerned? Basically what's your dream job? Focus on saving and planning towards that for a while. Really helped me stay focused and stop living like I was 24 still.

crazychef

No. it's hard for a lot of Americans to understand my life (I'm American), but literally packed my bags and moved to the Virgin Islands when I was 25 (13 years ago). I pretty much work seasonal jobs or freelance jobs all around the world in vacation destinations.

Don't really have many bills, went 8 years with no apartment or car, constantly moving from what ever boat or job I was on. I still have somehow managed my reputation as a yacht chef that always delivers and guests leave happy. Some captains know I like my rum and actually feed it to me while I'm working. Like I said there are not many jobs like mine where your boss is giving you rum drinks at work.

The money is good and can work when I want, so I usually take 3-4 months off a year traveling. But usually tropical where everyone is on vacation and drinking is as much as a part of a normal day as eating.

This Alaska job is a great opportunity to just be away from it. Been doing this long enough to know its always there no matter where you are in the world but literally I'm in the middle of nowhere, no stores, no bars

Dee74

it was hard for me to imagine my life without drinking too.

I was doing the same things I did when I was 18. Parties and benders interspersed with workdays.

Only problem was I was 40 and my drinking was killing me.

I built a new life without booze - and funny thing - I love it . I love my life and I love who I am.

I could never say those things as a drinker.

I don't miss the shallowness of my former existence.
I needed meaning & purpose in my life.