Minor Miracle I'm Sober Today
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 419
Minor Miracle I'm Sober Today
Hey everyone,
I’m trying to stay positive about things but lately I’ve been pretty depressed. I’m putting too much effort on other people and not on myself.
My sponsor sits in the house and just calls every so often and tells me he’s depressed and can’t get out of the house. This has literally been going on for a couple of years now and I’m honestly fed up with it. The man doesn’t want to help himself. I think I’ve literally told him 100 times to get out and exercise for depression and get out to be with people if you’re lonely. The man takes no action! He just sits there and feels sorry for himself. Meanwhile I keep relapsing.
My friend who I have spoken on here about has been in the hospital with a number of things. He’s been homeless for a long time and doesn’t seem to want to help his situation. He used his 90 days at the permanent shelter and now has to go to different churches everyday to spend the night. He was pretty healthy all of last year and worked very little and did very little to improve his situation and get a place to live. Meanwhile he continues to ask me to let him stay at my place, rides here and there and money. Honestly, I’m ready to cut the guy loose. I need to establish some boundaries.
I think what really has been bothering me lately is that my girlfriend hasn’t been well for awhile now. About 4 months. She has Hashimoto’s and can’t work so she I think she’s leaning on going back to Eastern Europe to get well for a few months. I met this girl 6 months ago and I totally fell for her. Now she’s pulling away and on Sunday we had a conversation and told me that she doesn’t want contact for a week to decide what to do. Well thanks a lot! This hurts me on a number of levels.
1) She doesn’t want to include me on any plans going forward which thinks shes going to end it soon. I feel like a big 0.
2) She gave her notice and doesn’t even have a place to stay at this point. How reckless is that?
3) I’d like to talk through this with her but she just put up this big wall. How selfish is that?
Well I guess that’s enough for now. I think it’s a minor miracle I’ve been able to stay sober the last couple of days. God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the things I Cannot Change. The Courage to Change the Things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.
Garrison
I’m trying to stay positive about things but lately I’ve been pretty depressed. I’m putting too much effort on other people and not on myself.
My sponsor sits in the house and just calls every so often and tells me he’s depressed and can’t get out of the house. This has literally been going on for a couple of years now and I’m honestly fed up with it. The man doesn’t want to help himself. I think I’ve literally told him 100 times to get out and exercise for depression and get out to be with people if you’re lonely. The man takes no action! He just sits there and feels sorry for himself. Meanwhile I keep relapsing.
My friend who I have spoken on here about has been in the hospital with a number of things. He’s been homeless for a long time and doesn’t seem to want to help his situation. He used his 90 days at the permanent shelter and now has to go to different churches everyday to spend the night. He was pretty healthy all of last year and worked very little and did very little to improve his situation and get a place to live. Meanwhile he continues to ask me to let him stay at my place, rides here and there and money. Honestly, I’m ready to cut the guy loose. I need to establish some boundaries.
I think what really has been bothering me lately is that my girlfriend hasn’t been well for awhile now. About 4 months. She has Hashimoto’s and can’t work so she I think she’s leaning on going back to Eastern Europe to get well for a few months. I met this girl 6 months ago and I totally fell for her. Now she’s pulling away and on Sunday we had a conversation and told me that she doesn’t want contact for a week to decide what to do. Well thanks a lot! This hurts me on a number of levels.
1) She doesn’t want to include me on any plans going forward which thinks shes going to end it soon. I feel like a big 0.
2) She gave her notice and doesn’t even have a place to stay at this point. How reckless is that?
3) I’d like to talk through this with her but she just put up this big wall. How selfish is that?
Well I guess that’s enough for now. I think it’s a minor miracle I’ve been able to stay sober the last couple of days. God Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the things I Cannot Change. The Courage to Change the Things I can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.
Garrison
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by comtnman740 
he’s depressed and can’t get out of the house. This has literally been going on for a couple of years now and I’m honestly fed up with it. The man doesn’t want to help himself. I think I’ve literally told him 100 times to get out and exercise for depression and get out to be with people if you’re lonely. The man takes no action! He just sits there and feels sorry for himself.
we are lucky to have this disease because there is a solution!
God bless
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
I've had that level of depression where I couldn't leave the house to the point of agorophobia, so I empathise with your sponsor.
That being said if you feel he's not giving you what you need, I think you're entitled to look for a new sponsor.
Someone else here on another thread had the advice of maybe spending some time with newcomers. That's a good way to feel useful, productive and get out of your own head for a while....I know for me, it can sometimes get a little 'me me me' in there.
I hope your fears about your relationship ending are unfounded.
D
That being said if you feel he's not giving you what you need, I think you're entitled to look for a new sponsor.
Someone else here on another thread had the advice of maybe spending some time with newcomers. That's a good way to feel useful, productive and get out of your own head for a while....I know for me, it can sometimes get a little 'me me me' in there.
I hope your fears about your relationship ending are unfounded.
D
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